Special news bulletin update: Team CoCo!
So in case you haven’t been paying attention, there’s a small kerfuffle going on among late-night talk show hosts. (I like to think it’s something about who will get to have me on their show as a guest first.)
Anyway, in protest, Conan O’Brien decided to post his show on Craigslist:
4 SALE: BARELY-USED LATE NIGHT TALK SHOW – MAKE ME AN OFFER!!! (Universal Studios)
This is a chance of a lifetime to own your very own late night talk show–guaranteed to last for up to seven months!! Really must see to appreciate.
Information for potential buyers:
– Measures 100’ x 100’ x 32’ – plenty of room for a futon!
– Designed for 11:35 but can be easily moved
– Band can be sold separately
– Buyer must honor Barry Manilow booking next Thursday
MAKE ME YOUR BEST OFFER!!!!! (Also willing to trade for Coldplay tickets.)
This appears to be relatively legit — relatively, in that rumors have it that Conan posted the first one, and other Team CoCo folks have kept posting it when it gets taken down.
Team CoCo all the way. Us redheads with unfortunate cowlicks have to stick together.
Conan O’Brien: Not sucking at Craigslist, or at late night television, since 1993.
I made an offer now I’m in a bidding war with Megachin Carguy. Wonder who that could be???
I’ve got 3 plastic bins full of rare old cereals I’ll trade for it!
Mmmmmm… rare old cereals.
I have a licked stamp (the trade with Lara fell through).
Ok, I’m willing to throw in my neighbor’s kittens and some chips I got from the dumpster behind Just-A-Buck!
OK, you drive a hard bargain , sir. I’m ready to throw in a Tiger print. At least I think it’s a Tiger…
I’ll see your Tiger and raise you an Ocelot.
I think it would take too long for you to raise me an Ocelot.
Besides, you’d have to throw in, like 10 or 12 Ocelots. You may say I want an awful lot of Ocelots.
But probably not three times fast…
Ocelots are cats, right? So, 10 or 12 ocelots, plus the Not. A. Lion. print, multiplied by an awful lot….wait..is this Cat Math?
Pre-Cat Math. I hope you have at least a TI-83+, you’re going to need the tables.
What about these magical color-changing, variable-amount, possibly black cats? Don’t forget to add them in.
Not fair, sarajean. That is totally Cat Math II.
Okay, so I sort of tried to write a program to list and tally the total possible combinations of color-changing, variable-amount, and possibly black cats. It randomly selects a number between 3 and 6 (because that’s what 4 means in cat math, amirite?) then runs through the possible combinations. Except I can’t get it to just stop at 3, or 4, or 5. It does 6 every time, and I’m too retarded to figure out why. I tried to fix it and perma-broke it.
May Schroedinger forgive me.
Schroedinger may or may not be rolling over in his grave. But who wants to open it up to find out?
Quantum mechanics WIN!
So that’s who is selling the gas-yourself mask – an NBC exec.
Are you surprised? You pretty much have to be gassed to watch anything on NBC anymore. They throw away all of their good shows and leave you with nothing but crap.
Nucular, Biological, Chemical, and proud as a peacock.
Gas, gas, gas.
Count me into the club of redheads with unfortunate cowlicks.
*sniffle*
My red hair was the bane of my existence until I got into high school and then all the girls wanted to know what color Clairol I used. I grew up with these people (and they teased me)… first sign for me that human intelligence was on a decline. *sigh*
Knew I shouldn’t’ve swapped those Coldplay tickets for the Nacho fountain. Dammit!
Wonder if he’d take my “Dennis DeYoung performing the music of Styx” passes instead?
I’ll offer a French Prudential ottoman.
I’ve got a red table he can have for free, if he sells me his show for it.
As long as it’s a dinning table. With chers.
Are they blech coloured?
If so, I’ll raise you a racoon plague.
I’m willing to bid my Not.A.Lion. t-shirt and some freshly made cherry wobblers.
1. I will enter your studio in a manner you see fit
2. I will turn the lights on and off during your monologue
3. I will take several anti-depressants to increase my stamina and to disconnect with reality
4. I will “interview” Scarlett Johansson on couch, in attire of my choosing
5. Andy cooks me a hot plate of his choice
6. I leave with your talk show
+1000.
Win, win, win.
Ugh…just when I thought that post was LOOOOoooooonnnnggggg gone and forgotten! My memory is all itchy now. Thanks l_c.
Link pls? I have a vague recollection of this one. Was it the naked elderly care guy?
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=3140
Thank you for the link! That one was driving me crazy. I couldn’t get back that far because my boss kept coming in my office regarding work of all reasons. The nerve!
Ja, ditto, thank you.
I just hate uppity bosses who expect you to work all day long. Come on, that’s more than they do!
I wonder what would happen if a bunch of people all over the world copied this ad and posted it on their local CraigsLists with an NBC email address as the seller?
The possibilities are quite intriguing.
At the very least there would be some poor bastard in the NBC offices huddled under his desk in the fetal position, whimpering every time that annoying little chime sounded;
“You’ve got mail!”
Are you wondering or are you organizing something here? {wink, wink}
Let’s call it an idea.
feedback@nbcuni.com
Just in case anyone is interested. It says on their website that if you have comments or concerns you should use that one.
Oh poodles – it wouldn’t work. They send an email to the email you list to enable it to be published. Darn it. That would have been funny.
You could possibly use a throwaway yahoo or gmail address to publish the ad and use the NBC address in the ad itself.
I like the way you think, girl, but that sounds suspiciously like work. I might try it, just to see if I can.
I have some blank wedding invitations to trade. I mean, they have names on them, but they’re still blank.
I guess the only good thing left on NBC is Chuck, and based on NBC’s track record, I doubt that’ll be around much longer. (I still haven’t forgiven them for what they did to Ed and American Dreams.)
I have some sexual tension from yesterday (You know who you are) I would like to get rid of. Cue the Marvin Gaye….”You’re my medicine, open up and let me in; Darling, you’re so great, I can’t wait for you to operate”
*crickets chirping*
I assumed he was referring to you.
Oh. Um. Yeeeaahhh. So. *awkward moment*
Don’t make me *sic* my ocelot on you, Steve
There’s a, uh, fairly non-invasive procedure that tends to relieve such “tension.”
Remember yesterday, when I talked to Tacomagic about the ‘line’ that gets crossed? I’ll be calling ACME for you.
*holds sign up – “Uh Oh” – *
But, SRSLY, what did I do? I was just trying to help a brother out.
I was yelling at Steve-O. I can yell at you, too if you’d like. I’m female, it won’t take me long to find somehting to bitch about.
Oh, well, you sort of replied to my post and um… confused me. But, I mean, yelling at me would be cool, too, if you want. I didn’t take the trash out today or hang my work clothes. You could start there. *shrug*
Nice link on the non-invasive procedure, Graham. The Captain sitting next to me thought it was especially funny. NSF the f-ing Captain! Oh well, I suppose I could have seen that coming if I was a little more clear headed, and not 37 hours in to my 48. And also HHNF, I’m not scared of you or your ocelot. Well, not *too* scared.
Sorry about that, I usually include the disclaimer but in the case of Wikipedia, well, what’s up with the graphics and illustrations on the right? Is that necessary?
Whoa, yeah, a disclaimer would have been nice . . . you made me splash my martini all over the keyboard. I managed to save the olive, so not a total loss.
Why don’t you have a seat over there?
Apparently you haven’t heard the saying, ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’.
Conan just outed himself as the author on tonight’s show.
Good thing I’ve been buying up all these dead explorers! I know they can’t refuse that offer.