YSaC, Vol. 646: Meta-art.
Picture of Art – $35
Beautiful picture of a house entrance with plants every were. I hope you can see it because it is hard to see
He’s right! That is, in fact, a picture of art! And, it’s a beautiful picture of a house entrance — although he could have included a bit more of the actual entranceway; as it is, there’s just a hint of the door frame. I don’t see the plants, though. I guess that’s the part that’s hard to see.
There is one fatal flaw with his plan to sell this picture of art: if he’s selling THIS picture OF the art, as the headline suggests, I already have a copy of it now! What’s my incentive to pay him $35 for this picture of the art?
Other than, of course, the fact that it is a striking example of neo-pseudoRealism. The inclusion of just a hint of the immovable side of the door hints at the immovability of human nature; while we may swing in place, we never actually accomplish any real motion. The light from above reflects man’s fascination with religion, and the askew angle at which the picture was taken represents man’s inhumanity to man. (Something ALWAYS represents man’s inhumanity to man.)
Thanks, Jordan!
It’s one of those “Magic Eye” things, isn’t it?
And if you stare at it for a while, you’ll see a picture of Art?
Only after I take my contact lenses out. And maybe have a glass or two of wine.
I took my glasses off, looked, had a coffee, looked again, cleaned my glasses and put em back then looked again, but nope. I’m still not seeing it.
It’s got to be good-lookin’ ’cause it’s so hard to see.
It bad production.
He got ono sideboard? Or two sideboards?
Had two sideboards, but tried to pick them up – He got spinal-crackin’.
and in a few more comments, we’ll be back to Jackie….
One thing I can tell you is this Art isn’t free.
I love it when a song comes together!
I ain’t goin’ on no plane!
In retrospect, I’m wishing Mr. White had sung, “One thing I can sell you, you can take it for free.”
Ah well, maybe red tables ain’t art.
Ah, coleoptera melody medleys
This guy’s got to be a joker, he just posts what he please!
Although, perhaps the $35 is to have it framed? It is rather lovely composition. The mystery of what the rest of the door looks like nicely complements the color of the walls, especially when juxtaposed next to a blurry painting.
Nope, it’s a schooner…
Waddya call a guy with no arms and legs hanging on the wall???
Art!
I can totally see him!
Is it just me, or would a seller who was concerned that a potential buyer be able to see the item they are selling not take another picture ?
I think you may be beginning to see why this blog isn’t called You Excel at Craigslist.
Ah. I always wondered that.
Then drmk would need to rename it to: You Suck Good at Craiglist.
I thought that “You Suck Good at Craigslist” is already a Personals category.
I have absolutely no concept of to what you are referring.
*walks away, whistling, while trying to wipe smirk from face*
Well, Miss Jo*, others have explained the “why” of our presence here.
What you may not appreciate very well, being sensible, sentient, ratiocinating, and all. Is that it is the soul of post-modern pseudo realism in our celebrephillic society that, of course no one thinks to take a second picture, after all Idol is On!**
Besides, the [corey] of it is that they could no get the whole print in the camera viewfinder while standing in the 3′-6″ wide hall (not with your arms held out to watch the back). That with the intersection of the number of Sparkies out there who have no idea what holds framed items like this on a wall. And, not being rocket sturgeons, they did not remove the item to someplace more photo-suitable.
And, there was only one photo left on the “roll” of digital film they were using.
**Or some such similar waste of RF emissions.
*I am quite weird–you can ask around. But, “Jo” comes up in my head as Erse Gaelic for “friend” (vice “Joe”, a plumber). So, my jumbled mush re-renders it as Senorita Amiga, or Madamoiselle Amies, or Fraulein Freund, Amicus femina–O the wandrings of my noggin, O speculatrix.
CM,
How do you keep track of all the tangents in your brain? Your erudition just boggles me. I recommend a good rousing dose of ‘SpongeBob Squarepants’.* 🙂
* I’m also stumped by cat math, so obviously, I’m not a doctor.
‘Tis truth, you make my head ache, and my funny bone giggle.
Architortural training intersecting with early inculcation in the spatial math of navigation, to keep a nettle’s grasp of vectors innumerable.
And, the “tracking” is more in the nature of tripping over post-collision cloud chamber plates (employed a Bo’s’n Hicks for a while).
Or, it’s from living my life through song–though Moe Bandy gets not enough credit if I call it “Jimmy Buffett, and REK, you wrote my Life”
I already have a house entrance, but for this cheap price I’m sure I can find room for it. Ooohhh… it’s the picture that’s for sale. I don’t know…
I know where you can get some tables and a lamp to decorate around the art.
What I suspect is that this doesn’t come off of the wall. They couldn’t move it to take a photo to sell it. They don’t tell you that, and that’s why it’s only $35, plus BYOC – bring your own chisel. Now that kind of selective detail really is man’s inhumanity to man.
Owning this picture comes a very close second in the humanity stakes. It’s pretty awful.
Upon further review, I think there is some serious misrepresentation taking place with this ad. It says, “house entrance with plants everywhere”. There is not one single industrial building or smokestack to be seen.
It is fraud, fraud I say!
Well…
It does say the plants are every ‘were’.
Which, in itself, claims the plants are now gone.
Perhaps they now reside in the 4th dimension sucking on a list called ‘You Suck Because You’re New Here’ and avoiding 3rd dimensional spheres becoming pancakes as they pass throu-
mmmmmmm
pancakes.
Oops, I had a mental hiccup and automatically corrected ‘were’ to ‘where’. Therefore, you are totally correct – the plants ‘were’ and I must withdraw my claim of “fraud”.
*sulks in corner due to embarassm – distracted by pancakes*
Hehe.
you said barassm.
Well, you are using English as a language used by the literate. It could be that Sparky has determined that several things here, the door, the image, the frame, are from every “were” as stated.
Now, that leaves us the dilemna of if Sparky is having a failure of Art instruction, of Plant Identification, or Architectural history, or is merely yet another EFL graduate (English as a FAILed Language).
4th dimension sucking, or 4-dimensional sucking? Sucking on a spherical donut, perhaps? Hmmm, toroids….
I ran out of commas and my neighbors dont have any loaners
They use them as apostrophes
Its as if all my punctuations are gone
I blame Joe
Ooh, toroids, now with bacon in my ideal universe!
4th dimension AND pancakes? Now my mind is right back where it was around this time yesterday, thinking of licking syrup off of………….
*blushes and wanders off to sit quietly in the corner, again*
A Rick Bayless program was just on PBS, while reading this–so I want waffle tacos with bacon to go with my cafè mexìcana . . .
Reminds me of that guy who takes pictures of other people’s work, and then sells them off at ridiculous prices. He calls this his own “art”.
Oh, and for the record, I know Art, and this looks NOTHING like him!!!
I never Meta-Art I didn’t like. 8)
My first thought, too. That is NOT a picture of Art. It’s a …house or something. It’s not even Art’s HOUSE.
I’ve been trying to parse “picture of a house entrance with plants every were,” and I think we may be off target.
The picture is a picture of a house. That much is obvious. And then there’s a missing period (because of a shortage caused by Joe, I’m betting) … followed by a suggestion for how to survive the coming lycanthrope apocalypse.
This house in the picture has some plants—something like catnip, I guess, but for werewolves instead of kitties—that will entrance every were. You needn’t even worry about wererats, wereboars, or werebears.
Still, if I were you, I’d pick up some silver weapons at the smithy before you spend the night in this manse. Won’t be long before the moon is full, and even an entranced werecreature can be pretty dangerous.
Botanist, I need a botanist; there’s an ornamental called “Wolf’s bane”–just the thing to add to the garlic and the like in my depeiction of a doorway.
Wonder if mandrake can be usedas zombie-bane?
Nah, Mandrake is the Magician…
Maybe Captain Marvel would work to keep away zombies.
arnica montana is my favorite bruise-healer, but when I try to harvest it I have to wear earmuffs so the screaming doesn’t kill me.
Hanna Montana is Taco’s favorite forum :p
I’m interrupting your Saturday Snarkfest for an important announcement: April 23rd was Mudslicker’s birthday! I hadn’t been to the forums in a while, and missed that important update. My apologies.
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, MUDSY! Couldn’t happen to a nicer person!
Hempy birthday belated, Mudsy!
and it’s back to the ‘White Album’
“Ohh, they say it’s your birthday,
Happy birthday to ya'”
HBD Mudsy!
Wish she were able to come ’round more Saturdays (of course, we could have remembered on the right day too, that would have been helpful). We’d take her out and party her right into the next dimension. Or dementia, whichever is better.
Would our trips here be mental sojurns through Lamentia?
Happy B-B-day!
Happy belated Mudsy, hope you had a good one.
Here! Here! Thrice cheer the natal anniversary!
Here! Here! Why? CapnMac, for such an erudite person, surely you know you mean Hear! Hear! Doncha?
Nope – Capn was posting it Here, Here! If he put it somewhere else, it would be There, There! (or Were, Were! if written by the OP).
And was meant to read “Hear! Here!” to collect both senses of it.
Getting used to the strictures of IE again (from FF) is most annoying.
Happy happy birthday
from all of us to youuuu
We hope you brought some alceyhol
so we can party, too hey!
I’ve got the ice!
SilvaNior has the tiny unblubbers with lemon slices.
Or maybe they are unblublers made out of lemon slices (it is yellow).
And lolly has the Limes 😉
I only have 10 limes, so go easy on the margaritas. (hic)..make that 9 limes..
I brought the coconuts!
Now we put de lime in de coconut…
I think I would rather have art that represents man’s snarkiness to man. It’s too early in the day for inhumanity.
In that case, you probably want a Not.A.Lion shirt.
(And good thing I reread my post before sending: this was almost a suggestion to buy a Not.A.Loin shirt…)
hmmmm
*wanders off trying to picture said shirt*
Well, we now have to solve for is Not.A.Loin and arm; or is it Not.A.Limb?
And, it being suppertime and all my apetites much abused and confused, I cannot even picture a ribeye, since said steak encompasses a bit of the loin.
I had an ARM on my Not.A.Lion, but with the market instability that introductory rate is really killing me.
I’d take a Not.A.Loin shirt. I need the irony in my diet.
Too much irony in your diet can make you rather irregular.
And, not enough irony can make you anemic
You know, the poster could be describing my landscaping. Though my neighbors refer to my ‘plants everywhere’ as weeds…Hmmm, whose been taking pictures of my front door *dons aluminum foil beret*
Psst… don’t forget the peanut butter on the doorways!
Is that you, Taco?
Or maybe you’re trying to hint (subtle!) that Taco is the one stalking you: StalkoMagic!
If only there were 2 pictures of Art. Then the seller could offer them for $35 each or 2 for $80.
Um … so, I’ve put the Cat Math print up on the YSaC Printfection store, and something very strange is currently happening … for some reason, the price for the mousepad is only $2, and that’s the price that you get charged when you go through the checkout process (plus shipping).
So if you want a Cat Math mousepad (and who wouldn’t?) you might want to nip over there before they figure out what’s going on!
It’s up to $12.99 now, so that deal went fast. Heh. Happy to see it as a mousepad 🙂
Cat math On the Cat Math Mousepad: Priceless.
Aw, darn it. I was hoping that folks could snag a deal.
I hope that you can see this,
(because it’s really hard to see),
these black typed words in a grey box,
take quite a lot out of me.
This is a picture of a poem,
One for only thirty-five,
I hope you can afford it,
‘cuz bargaining don’t jive.
What? No? No picture of my words?
Instead might you take this lovely print?
I snapped it this morning, myself,
Never been seen, condition: Mint.
See the plants (or can you?)
by the edge of the door frame,
oh how lovely, like real life!
My picture looks the same.
Just like my poem,
I’ll sell it for thirty five bucks.
Maybe 2 for eighty?
Hey- you’re in luck!
Just a picture of my entrance way,
how gorgeous- can you tell?
I’d be so happy to make this deal,
oh, of course I’ll sell!
It’s like Pink Floyd (or, for that matter, Pink)–one needs to be stone cold levitated on their favorite chemical or herb to truly appreciate it.
That said, mark my word that this masterpiece will go down as one of the all-time great Craigslist-posted paintings of an flower-lined entranceway.
And..
—-Upon further review, I think there is some serious misrepresentation taking place with this ad. It says, “house entrance with plants everywhere”. There is not one single industrial building or smokestack to be seen.
It is fraud, fraud I say!—
—–Oops, I had a mental hiccup and automatically corrected ‘were’ to ‘where’. Therefore, you are totally correct – the plants ‘were’ and I must withdraw my claim of “fraud”.
*sulks in corner due to embarassm – distracted by pancakes*—-
You’re wrong, GP.
Well, maybe not fraud, but SCHADENFREUDE!
Aha – Schadenfreude – I remember having that once in Hannover back in the late ’60’s. Had the same affect on me that Mexican has on TacoMagicFingersSexy – except t’was achsploded.
Wo bist du, Taco Meister?
Art is on the wall.
Matt is in front of the door, and
Bob; he’s out back in the pool.
And Ralph is hugging the toilet.
And Russell is in the bushes by the front door.
Mac is on the pc.
At my house, Mac is on the desk.
I thought Mac was on the cheese?
add cheese and it’s DINNER!
Edit* _______ minds think alike?
Lime – I think the word you were looking for in the blank spot was one of these: “sick”, “warped”, “strange”.
As a dear friend frequently tells me, “You are sick, twisted, and perverted – I LIKE that in a person.”
Gramps… my blank word was ‘drunk’… but strange works too. 😉
Jungle Juice ftw!
Great- anybody know how to clean vodka off a laptop screen??
Violet and Daisy are in the garden with Rock and Skip is out water skiing.
Jack and Otto Manuel are in the garage.
Jacque is in the gym and Landry’s on the line.
Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah..
And Lucy’s in the sky with diamonds?
She has to get around to leaving home first!
Sparky clearly wants you to know what the picture looks like while hanging on a wall. How often do you stand staring at a picture in the front entryway? He just wants you to view the picture as it is usually viewed.
through a fishbowl?
No, that makes too much sense, stop that.
Bananas.
Well, choosing a location where (were?) one is clobbered by the door every time it is opened (under the glare of the 2 60W lamps overhead) could be why Sparky wants to sell it.
This has the look of a marigold white-on-marigold white apartment, so, the flora in the print may be the only greenery in the entire apartment. Which could cause the nature-starved Sparky to loiter, longing for just what cannot be explianed to an Idol-addled soul. So, confused, the print catches the eye every when. To be clobbered by Sparky’s roommates everywhen some glam show comes on tv.
At this point, the doors and plants are probably in every were of Sparky’s concussed multiple-vision.
Maybe with the $35 Sparky can run, can flee, freed from the dollhouse (replaced by Bob Duval) to hug the trees, the plants, the flora in all their ares rhather than weres. Go! Sparky, Go! Take up Muir’s passion now, flee your condo now!
Take the dog too. He needs a good run.
….while on the way out.
I saw a bear..
..his name was Art.
I met Art. He does…
a good job with the flowers, but he’s terrible with …
manners. So I bought…
this picture. It doesn’t match.
So I sold it on Craigslist. I hope the buyer
see this. It is a picture of the exact same item but not the one …
with the lion. Art is a bear, not a lion, and he …
/possibly corey/
I recognize the picture in the picture (in the…) because it’s hanging on my bedroom wall. It’s quite lovely, in a can’t-afford/don’t-like-museum-quality-Art™ kind of way. When things get to be a bit much (like lately) I sometimes fall asleep looking at it, imagining I’m about to walk through to my other life, the real one, where I live in a cozily character-laden house in a moderately exotic locale with lots of greenery, instead of in a boring cookie-cutter house in the desert.
/end possibly corey/
/also end whine/
Is there a skinny man in a dark suit, smoking while orating as if a greek chorus to an audience unseen, nearby?
Strangely, This same “Art” is hanging up in my co-worker’s office at work. Not the wondrous corner of a door, but that rather boring example of hotel room decor on the wall in the “Art”. It’s not at that angle though, so I wonder if I should fix it on Monday?
YES… in case you were picturing.
Tell them the plants were not every, so you had to make it easier to see…the art.
Just how lazy do you have to be to walk halfway down the hallway and say “aw screw it,” and take the picture from there?
I give up. How lazy?
Like I said, Idol is on and your missing it!
Watch folk with PAS (Point-And-Shoot) Cameras, they hold them at arms’ (or arm’s) length to see the CCD screen on the back.
That hall is not wide enough to do that, and get the whole print, frame and all in. Rather than use logic, walk down the hall. QED
And MELROSE IS ON!!11!!
100+ comments and not a single person has mentioned Calvin and Hobbes discuss paintings of comics? For shame!
http://modernkicks.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/calvin_3.jpg
Because Berke is a Breathe of fresh air in a stale world; someone capable of sublimity and insight and inspiration.
And Sparky is a waste of protoplasm and and an oxygen-thief?
Like hanging prints of Chester the Molester next to the Mona Lisa?
I think you’re thinking of Bloom County, not Calvin & Hobbes, which was by Bill Watterson.
Wow, sorry this is so late. Ahem. A. Lion and Grampdaddy, here are your punchity punch punches! Congratulations.
*scratches head and frowns in puzzlement at “(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)*
O … K …
I’m puzzled as well, since it seems to be a copy/paste of Capn Mac’s post. If this disappears, you’ll know why.
I’m not sure it’s spam, though the website you get to if you click on Steven’s name is pretty minimal…
Could it just be that the “Adores” have that text invisibly buried therein?
So much for my theory. Hm…
Nope, it’s spam. My spam filter is filled with them; this one seems to have snuck through.
It’s an interesting approach though; copy a post that has already made it through, since you know that won’t be caught by the spam filter. Then get folks to visit the site you’re pimping by saying “(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)”.
In other words, don’t. I’ll try to set up a filter that looks specifically for that phrase.
I can’t figure out what they’re pimping, since that was a pretty content-free site.
Communication fail.
I don’t understand how these spam people work, though: the site that he was pointing to was just like a blank blog, with nothing in it. How is that supposed to make money?
(Edit to add: Lola and I were thinking and typing alike while I was composing this.)
Lola, Isaac — one possibility is that that site contains malicious code that exploits a browser weakness or something and adds a computer to a botnet. I know just enough about this stuff to hurt myself, but I know that things like that are theoretically possible.
Note to everyone else: if a post says “to vote for this comment, visit the site”, (A) don’t, and (B) let me know so I can delete it.
Noted. Will do.
Isaac, can I have the rest of my brain back? Thanks. 8)
I use Firefox for Mac, so I hope I don’t get bot-bugged … most viruses are written for PCs (though this is changing, slowly) so I am usually OK.
For what it’s worth, Judge Roberts doesn’t seem to have given me any cookies.
Mmm … cookies.
Lo, you can have our brain for the rest of the day, as long as I can use it on Monday night to get ready for class.
Isaac, after the brain helps me clean it’s going out for Cuban food. (I think. I’m not the one in charge of the restaurant choice.) Any requests?
COOKIES… specifically, oatmeal chocolate chip… yum. What? It hits all my food groups.
You should get Jerk chicken! Oh, wait, that’s Jamaica, isn’t it? Besides, it’s only worth it if it’s from a shady-looking guy on the side of the road.
Astro, you are very polite – most people tell me, “Get the chicken, Jerk!” even the shady guy at the side of the road.