YSaC, Vol. 736: My poncho brings the boys to the yard.
Free Poncho Headress
I have 2 free poncho headress, but they need to be deloused before worn. Can pick-up on sunday after 7:30pm if you are later than 8:00 then just forget about them because they will be gone. thanks
These are definately aren’t for Cubscouts or other kids.
Write-yer-own caption contest! Put your caption in the comments below!
You can blame this one on Katie. Thanks, Katie!
Deloused?! How buys a headdress or clothing or anything for that matter that needs to have bugs removed from it first?!
Mysterious are the ways of Craigslist, young padawan.
I’m guessing that is one reason (among the many, many reasons) why it’s free.
If they need to be deloused, why is our friend wearing one of them? I guess we know where the louses comed from.
:presses buzzer:
What is, “Because Sparky is an asshat”,
AlexLou?BobLou, LOVE the avvie!!• First…this concept is utterly repugnant, my louse are a tight community, and don’t want your hand me down housing.
• Second: *headresses*, more comma splices and sentence fragments then I care to list, “are *definitely* aren’t…”, wtf…I are definitely aren’t enjoying this diarrhea grammar…please go back to elementary school, and enroll yourself in their “special program”.
• Third…why? Just…why? This is WHY certain members of our society shouldn’t have access to, A. a digital camera, and B. the internet.
bah hahahahahahahaha
[bug corey]especially since 48 hours in the freezer is usually good enough to kill bugs–if not the ova of same.
Related note on the “ick” factor of how does Sparky know these
ponso(oops, Gary P Nunn in my head) ponchos are “infested”?Is it fleas, bedbugs, moths, or even lice as indicated?
Is that why these are unsuitable for chilluns or cubscouts, as that is how they became infested?
Ick.
[/corey]
Need Delousing?
Try the new delousing poncho by Rank-co!
Simply soak the poncho in the supplied DDT and place over head and body, in no time (1 month) you will be louse free!*
Be the envy of your neighborhood in this stylish article of delousing technology!**
*Not recommended for use on California Condors, children under 42, nursing mothers, or really anyone not a Zomb-
**Shown with optional piping and delousing brush, $29.99 extra
I’m too sexy for my troop, too sexy for your troop, too sexy!
I’m guessing it’s more of a “I can’t come within one hundred yards of a Cub Scout. Court order.” sort of thing.
And I thought Taco in a squirrel costume was terrifying.
Plus, I got my costume on Etsy. I do have standards*!
*This may not be true.
Pretty sure I saw this on Regretsy, actually … hmmm. Now I’m wondering whether they are still for sale.
“Darn! The faux-Navajo horse-butt ponchos came back from Bonnaroo with fleas on them, can’t sell them now (even on Etsy). Oh, hey, I know! I’ll give them away for free on Craigslist! People love free sh1t!”
I tried Tineye but didn’t come up with anything.
I’m sure I’ve seen this pic before too, and I think it was Regretsy.
Yeah, this was on Regretsy a wile back. I’m guessing someone took that picture and thought they’d make a “funny” Craigslist ad.
I didn’t trust the picture either, so I did a TinEye search and came up empty, so I thought it was safe to use.
In fact, it’s even on the cover of the Regretsy book.
Apparently TinEye isn’t an infallible search…
Makes me wonder though if this is a purposefully “funny” post (by someone trying SOOO hard to get on YSaC) or if it’s actually by that Etsy seller… but why would they GIVE them away when their poncho is now so famous???
Mysterious world, this.
D’oh! Well, rats. Shows how much I’ve been paying attention recently.
Either that or … ooh, I know — I’m boycotting all blog-to-books until I get one of my own! Yeah, that’s it!*
*This may actually be true.
Still, it is Sucking at CL if they ripped it off from someone else and made the lice comment. FWIW, I think it still fits your criteria – just ad the “asshat” tag and it’s all good.*
*This may or may not be true. I am not in a mental state to judge.
I think we need a new tag for these fake CL adds.
“You suck at sucking!” comes to mind.
Given how quickly we tend to “cross the line”, it’s probably not a good idea to use that particular verb that many times in one phrase.
How ’bout “Möbius fail”?
I wonder if Sparky bought this on Etsy, discovered the lice, then put it on CL because he’s too stupid to throw it away.
Might I suggest the tag ” Faux Asschapeau”?
Asschapfaux?
Yep, totally on Regresty: http://www.regretsy.com/2010/06/16/regretsy-math-15/ Though if someone really paid $130 apiece for two of these…. I wonder what I can get that person to buy? I’m sure I have some lovely trash, er, treasures around here that I could certainly part with for that much money.
If that’s the front, I shudder to think what the back looks like
I’m getting kind of shuddery wondering what the other poncho/headress/thing looks like. It can’t possibly be this bad, that much hideousness would cause the world to implode. Or at least destroy whatever city these things are in.
True enough. One would be inclined to model the nicer of the items in question.
The more important issue is: who did they find who was willing to model a poncho badly in need of delousing?
EDIT: *HRRRM* I see that you already thought of that. Carry on.
He’d have been better off just taking the pic while holding a milkshake.
[tangent] BEST avatar, Lou! [/tangent]
That’s TWICE this week that I’ve seen that pic. Once on Lovely Listing and now Lou has snagged it for [his] very own.
Tell us about the happy little trees in your soothing voice, pretty please?
Don’t forget good ol’ William Alexander.
Happy painter? Oooohkay…
…and the lye cat. Anyone?
“Hello friends. Thank you for joining me today on ‘ The Joy of Painting with Lou Stool’. Today I thought we’d get a little bit crazy and paint a portrait of a man wearing…. well, let’s just call it ‘something’. I will need some cadmium white, a little yellow ochre, alizarin crimson, and pthalo blue. (25 minutes pass). Now, before we sign this and call it complete, how about we add a happy little louse….. oh what the heck… let’s add a whole bunch of them because everyone needs a friend. That concludes our show for today, so until we meet again, happy painting and God bless, my friend.”
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
What the hell did they do with the rest of the horse after they stole it’s blanket and tail?
Do I even want to know?
I suspect there are more bedazzled hoof hooks somewhere.
And another “a beef, need to get rid of it quick” somewhere.
Except I suspect it would be “beef” rather than actual beef, with that tail …
Awww, Secretariat!
I have no idea. BTW, would someone tell me why the next ad is for “30 gallon bucket of glue..5$.”????
That is a mystery. Oh, look! An ad for discount cheval! I guess they misspelled chevon.
[might be missing the joke corey] Cheval means horse. [/might be missing the joke corey]
[“Pumpkin” corey] Garçon means boy. [/”Pumpkin” corey]
I was referring to post 733 from earlier this week, specifically this comment from Bridgete;
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=4981#comment-53126
“Take that poncho off! It makes you look like a horse’s ass!”
Specifically, like Rainbow Brite’s horse’s ass.
(What was that horse’s name? Starlight, Starbright, something like that.)
“Yes, Sparky. I know it’s 8:02. I’m sorry I’m late, but there was a horse with no tail running through the streets. What? They’re gone? Now what will I tell my cub scouts?”
I hate to do this, and I feel like such a killjoy, but I have to do it: SHENANIGANS!!!
This was on Regretsy a month ago, same exact picture and everything. Now I’m not saying someone COULDN’T have just decided not to sell their handmade poncho for 130.00$, and instead give them away, I’m just saying one of these posts (either this one or the regretsy one) smells suspicious.
And since the person still has this poncho listed on Etsy, I’m thinking it is this post that is “fauxsuck”. Made by a “fauxSparky”
I know, I know, I’m a downer. Sorry.
http://www.regretsy.com/2010/06/16/regretsy-math-15/
And the website of the person it looks like made it.
http://brannandenneyart.blogspot.com/
(Help me, I’ve been possessed by the spirit of Corey!!!)
Great minds!
Uh oh. “Your comment is awaiting moderation”. Who did I piss off??? I didn’t MEAN to ruin the party!!!!
Admit it, Meredith. You included massive links, didn’t you?
What girl doesn’t secretly like a massive link every now and then?
*puts self in corner*
I’ve always wondered, “What’s the first thing I’d do if I suddenly had a massive link?”
I guess the answer is, “Await moderation”.
At least you don’t have to wear the Cone of Shame.
Hey! What if this thing is the human version of a Cone of Shame?
Sarajean, if we didn’t have one already, I do think This Is It. You’re a genius.
Wait, Meredith, isn’t that two questions? it’s one question if you suddenly/unexpectedly have access to and the use of a massive link.
It’s quite another to wake up and have, uh, “additional equipment” installed. (Hey, my car did not have this 40mm Bofors cannon installed last night when I put it away . . . )
Holy…horses! That doesn’t really look like horse hair to me. Maybe it’s “real fake” human hair for braids?
But really, what sort of hooded bizarre photography cult do they have going? Let’s all knit strange hoodies and put on a fashion show!
I swear I’ve seen this thing on Regretsy. Anyone else?
Yep–I’m pretty sure that this person is trolling for fail blogs, and they’ve gotten two to bite so far.
Mike you forgoet these handy, dandy [corey] tags.
*Hands tags over*
There you go sir, now you’re ready to go.
Since Bridgete is busy with her interview today (Yay Bridgete!) and can’t be Isaac…
TM – “forgoet” – Nope, you have to make a choice – either ‘forget’ or ‘forgot’.
Not busy yet, it’s not until 4. But thanks for stepping in!
I’m back! It went really well. Really, really well. I find out next week. Cross your fingers! And toes, and legs, and arms…even eyes, if you think it’ll help. 😉
That is so sad. What kind of person deliberately posts ads just so others will make fun of them?
Oooh, I know! An asshat!
Yes, and specifically in this case, a pretentious, hipster, hand-made asssombrero.
Hi Lola – missed you yesterday.
Wanted to be here, Grampdaddy. Some of Bridgete’s future colleagues were keeping my busy, however.
And speaking of … good luck, Miss B! You know we’re all cheering for you!
Thanks!* 🙂
*This thanks is intended to cover all present and future wishes of good luck today. Just so I don’t fill up the comments with saying it 20 times.
*itch*
It was actually posted on Craigslist — I saw the ad itself, so it’s not like someone is just sending the ad and not actually posting it. Now, whether they’re posting it in the hopes of having it appear here, I don’t know.
And besides, does that really change whether or not it sucks?
I think it adds an extra layer of suckiness.
There is no question that this ad sucks, oh great Llama-Nun.
In the annals (sure hope I spelled that correctly) of suckitude, it is at the epitome, yea, the very pinnacle of ads which suck, O wondrous Llamanun! Bees be with you…
Well, it may count as a lamprey on suckiness, though . . .
As long as it does not become a “viral” advertising gimmick.
I regret that I’ve seen it.
So.much.pain.
YES! I thought the same thing.
The worlds of Datewrecks and YSaC are colliding! I need more coffee for this…
We’ve collided several times — and I need to get myself together so that we can do so again soon!
“We’ve collided several times”
Is there video? And is it NC17? And is there a link?
If there is a link, I’m sure it’s massive.
None of my ponchos (and I’ve got a lot of them, mind you) really have that special something that this poncho seems to have. That special something being the feeling of little insects crawling over my skin and the piercing probosci searching for my blood.
I think my collection may now be complete… crap… it’s 8:09 here. No way this item would still be available.
For whatever reason, my brain finds the phrase “Taco Poncho! Taco Poncho!” dang amusing right now.
I’m guessing it’s the result of a caffeine overdose. You need a nice long nap.
It can’t be, because I haven’t had any caffeine, and it’s making me laugh too.
How about “Chimichanga Chaps! Chimichanga Chaps!”
You know, to me this looks sort of like a church bazaar Dalek.
Morning hot chocolate, meet nasal passages! Bwahahahahaha!
And I don’t even watch that show!
Delouse! Delouse! DELOUSE!
Will cause DE ITCH.
I can picture some little old lady whose medication went bad knitting this thing for a grandchild.
*Festive holiday scene*
“Honey, look what Grandma sent you! Isn’t it…festive?”
“I’m not wearing that thing.”
“Come on, honey, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. She might change her will. Just put it on for a second, I’ll take a quick photo we can send her and then we can post it on CraigsList. You’ll never have to see it again.”
:dramatic teenage sigh: “Fine.”
:puts on poncho: “Why is it so…itchy?”
Now all I can hear is Ralphie from A Christmas Story.
That’s kinda who I was picturing too, but grown up a bit and all angry and sullen. Possibly an emo.
A Christmas Story 2: Emo Ralphie
“What do you want for Christmas this year?”
“Some good cutting knives.”
“No, you’ll poke your eye out.”
“Cool!”
Who says all sequels are bad? ♥
Now all I can think is that all this is missing* is a pair of big pink bunny ears sticking out the top.
*This is not true. This is also missing any semblance of taste.
:mentally draws on bunny ears:
I didn’t think it was possible, but that makes it worse. I wonder…
:mentally adds bright pink footie pajamas:
… And that makes it significantly worse. I do believe my brain is beginning to melt.
This must be what going mad feels like.
No, I think* that was the feeling you got about your 5th comment here. Or at least, that’s when I felt it.
*This may or may not be true.
And I was totally going to go the Kenny McCormack route, but that fellow on Regretsy beat me to it.
“Oh my God, the horse killed Kenny!”
“You bastard.”
According to Bridgete’s post late yesterday, it should be; “You non-marital child.”
Maybe the other poncho is the “girls” model.
*I don’t have any idea what that is supposed to mean.*
It would have two horses’ tails side by side on the front.
Why aren’t they for kids? I don’t understand. Should I keep mine in a sealed container with a childproof lid just to be safe? Cuz all I’ve got are all these little medicine bottles and I don’t think it’s going to fit.
Silly rabbit, free poncho headress aren’t for kids.
Uh, cause they’re covered in LICE!!! Hmmm, but really, kids bounce back the easiest, so I’m thinking a good infestation might not be so bad. NO SCHOOL!!! NEW BUG FRIENDS!!!! Wacky Hijinks!!!
From my point of view, these are just fine for kids.
Yes, that’s sure to make any child popular and well adjusted – an insect-infested poncho that makes you look like an inverted candy corn.
“Inverted Candy Corn” for pretentious d-bag hipster band name of the day.
This photo is their album cover, naturally.
Can we get Backyard Delousing to open for them?
Speaking of Emo bands and opening at the 40-Watt, is anyone else traumatized by the announcement that the FreeCreditReport.com band is in the process of being replaced and all that seem to be applying are totally emo pirate posers?
I miss my little parents-basement-beater-driving-pirate-band!
Okay. I’ve vented for the day.
Did you know that the band that appears in the freecreditreport.com commercials is not actually the band that is playing in the commercials? The guy who plays the lead singer is an actor. A lip-synching actor. I don’t know who to trust anymore.
You can trust the Old Spice guy. 🙂
nonsensical: But they were adorable….. 🙂
LL: And you can trust the Allstate guy Geico lizard.
You can always trust a Llama. Especially one who’s joined a convent.
Now, Ostrich-Emu hybrids, on the other hand…
If you look at the blue and red part of the poncho, there is an amazing resemblance to Taco. Hmmmmmm….
Just sayin’
As I intimated earlier I have
slightlymuch better taste in ponchos than this. What with them being so stylish right now, and being all the rage in the fashion world I have plenty of opportunity to get good ones.Besides, I didn’t get there until well after 8 so it was already gone*.
*On fire.
So they killed it? With fire?
Hmmm… that’s a novel concept, I’ll have to remember that.
Heck, I think I need a Silkwood shower after just looking at the picture…
:reminds self to never eat before visiting YSaC again:
It’s also not a good idea to drink anything unless you enjoy a good nasal irrigation.
Everything smells like coffee now.
Good point… slices of coffee can be pretty sharp around the edges.
The after-smell isn’t so bad, though.
*whispers* You’ve got a split infinitive there.
Who said that?
Splitting infinitives? Is that like dividing be zer
Only if you say it too loudly. That’s why I had to whisper.
I’m trying to make sense of that image, and I just … can’t. It’s making my brain hurt.
Don’t stare at it too long or you might go blind.
And not in the good way.
This SHOULD be down with Windrose’s comment on massive links…
OK – the line to be crossed this morning: In 10 words or less, explain the difference between a female massive link and a male massive link. Venn diagrams will be accepted.
And…… GO!
Eight inches
Eight? You must have lucked out.
The word “only” got up and ran away. I am aware we’re talking about massive links here.
Only + luck ≠ *ouch*
I thought this was a math problem. Male massive link – female massive link = difference
Wait.. what?
all massive links, both
male or female are alike
in moderation
(I went one over. It’s hard to get a haiku under ten words to make sense.)
Taco seems to be able to. He just pronounces the words like a foreigner.
:Counts syllables in SJ’s haiku:
5-7-5…uhh…
:Counts syllables again:
5-7-5…hmm…Taco might be rubbing off on me.
:Considers poor choice of words in that statement, shrugs, moves on:
:Counts words:
11…OH!
(Mudsy, this is not directed at you, that’s exactly what I did…I thought she meant syllables too)
Are you sure he doesn’t pronounce them like a furrnerr?
*Disclaimer: I have no idea what accent is used in the Land O’ Cereal Killers. I just know that “furrnerr” is the funny pronunciation that popped into my head :-p
EB: considering today’s post, I would prefer to leave any mention of fur out the conversation.
*itchy shivers*
You’re right, Mudsy, I would be a bit worried that Taco would pull out his squirrel (skwerrl?) costume again. Maybe we should shove this train of thought into A Room, and he won’t notice it… yeah, that always works :-p
Edit: Nyer? Apparently I lost my kitty gravatar.
Ah, now Patrick’s back. Apparently when you log into the forums, you log in here, and I had been using a different email to get my kitty picture. (Holy cow, I think I’m channeling Taco… I typed “pickure” “pickture” “picure”) (Channeling Taco is a frightening thought…) Anyways, meet my kitty, Patrick… I named him after Patrick Stewart, because from a certain angle he has a longish wideish nose, which reminded me of Captain Picard… But Mr.EB didn’t want our cat to have a french-sounding name, so Patrick it is :-p *accepts geek creds for naming her cat after a Star Trek captain*
The forum login thing got me once too. That was the time my full name showed up on my comments. The Llama-nun (bees be with her) fixed it for me later.
I didn’t even take the time to count the syllables. I did think sj was talking syllables; with some 10″ massive link reference.
But I’m blaming my cursory response on this ad itself. It is really skeeving me out today—so I’m distracted.
Don’t you mean “cursing response”?
I was thinking many cursing responses….
Looks like a Tressy doll gone bad.
“What?!?! The knob you crank to shorten the hair goes into the belly button, and the pony tail comes out of the top of the head…? This explains a lot. Can someone help me with this crank in my noggin’? Pay no attention to the parasites.”
I’m just not into putting my chest hair into a ponytail. I think I’ll pass.
I know that to some that might be dreamy, but I have to go with you on this one TM. I’m definitely not a lycanthropist when it comes to male chest hair.
🙁
I guess you won’t need to use my ‘Pretty Princess Ponytail hairbands’. I got them out of storage, just for you TM.
I’ve got My Little Pony ones LL. We can both make a contribution!
I’ve got a ton of hair barrettes from my nieces, you have a choice of “Littlest Pet Shop”, “Disney Princesses”, or “Tinkerbelle”.
Ha! whare ye gaun’ ye crowlin honcho?
Ye weird, inhabited, hairy poncho;
The Craigslist crowd will surely taunt so
Owre yer hirsute face,
Well! Senor Louse can ride the rancho
On sic a place.
O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as YSaC sees us!
It wad frae monie a blunder free us
Though raise less mirth:
And monie a snark and snipe, by Jeebus,
End in stillbirth.
I hear this in Groundskeeper Willies’ voice.
You know, “Bonjour, Ya cheese eating surrender monkeys!”.
Oooh, well done! This verse does go well with Willie’s voice.
I pumped their ad into the bad translator and got:
I had two Turkish-free, but we have to live. Can Friday: 7:30, 8:00, and had forgotten just because they are destroyed. Thanks
Yes, much better.
EDIT:
“Two people working in Turkey. But by 07:30, 08:00 Friday, and I also forget to thank geugaey.”
I’ve missed a day or a weekend here from time to time due to work or travel, but yesterday it was a seriously long work day (including commute, 14 1/2 hours). I don’t think my snark was just broken, I think it actually sued me for divorce on the grounds of abandonment and excessive cruelty. But, this being salaryland, I don’t get OT or comp, so I here I am, delirious and nauseated from lack of sleep! Because this has been a busy week, too! Wait, there’s more! You also get me with a ridiculously short attention span and an even shorter temper! If you act now, you can earn my undying loyalty if you
bring me the head of that associate on a platterlocate and help attach the coffee IV. Experience suspense as to whether or not I’ll have that curious phenomenon first encountered in college, where I need caffeine to stay awake/passably functional, but my stomach can’t take any more. Which will be first to go – consciousness or the reverse perstalsis?Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pull the Keurig machine out of the coffee room and bring it and a
boxpallet of the coffee servings and bring them to my office.[corey] Salaryland doesn’t mean no overtime. But, in the case of working for my future fellow colleagues, they’ve probably managed to box you into an “exempt” category. [/corey]
Got it in one, Bridgete! I’ve never, ever gotten OT from a firm. Occasional pity comp time off of the books by a sympathetic supervisor, but that’s the extent of it.
14 1/2 hour commute in NYC…*thinks back to her Lincoln Tunnel days*…what’s that, like, 4 miles by car? 🙂
I hope you get an easy day today, Lola, or 3 least a few flask-breaks.
The commute’s an hour each way, but at least I don’t have to drive it. Had I needed to drive myself home for an hour last night, I’d have checked into a hotel instead (the client wasn’t going to pay for a limo service car home – we asked) because it really would not have been safe.
Fortunately, my vacation starts in 36 minutes. Ahhhhhh … I’m going to forego the flask this evening; the whole martini shaker will be nearby.
Lola, I cannot imagine any more exquisite endeavor than to provide damsel relief for one so deserving. The problem being that the know-nothing nabobs are spun up to full speed nattering about Bonnie wandering over. These would-be brahmins get terribly exercised when reality intrudes into the free practice of their various deviancies and perversions, which makes them sore cranky when modern science cannot predict precisely where calamity will strike until after the fact.
But, I could be bitter and jaded enough today to sour a warehouse of honey en passant, too.
Nabob … didn’t that used to be a coffee brand? Mmm, coffee. Thank you for the kind thoughts, Capn.
I think there’s something … odd … hinky … wackadoodle … with the comments. Ones that I intend to nest aren’t, and one that I specifically knew was supposed to be at the end interleaved itself with other, earlier ones. Random comments anywhere would be interesting …
Edit: OK, I KNOW this was at the end, but it put it right under my last one. WEIRD.
No, both my posts today didn’t go “at the end” either but were placed amidst the string of replies. The comment section is being bossy today at YSaC.
OHMYGOD!!! What if the comments section has somehow (possibly involving nuclear waste or exposure to the poncho pic) become sentient and is acting of its own volition?!?!?!?!111!!?!?
Meh, as long as it doesn’t come between me and caffeine, I won’t worry. Much. Yet.
It may have taken OBO to mean
Operating [on] Batshit Order
Resistance is Futile, SkyNet is aware of your feeble attempts to resist assimilation.
Don’t know how long I’ll last here today.
I can’t look at this ad without flashbacks of Monsters Inside Me (and that’s not a reference to a Frankenstein pron movie) and resisting the urge to roll around in a sandbox full of Gold Bond powwowder (*motorboat motorboat*).
This dude looks like he belongs as the centerpiece for next Thanksgiving’s table. Someone else’s table.
My first thought was turkey, too. Then I saw the horse’s tail. Then my brain melted in protest.
Ugh, that show is like driving by a car wreck; you can’t help but watch.
“Here’s a brain-eating ameoba that lives in your contact lens case!”
“Look, a worm that will drill it’s way through your internal organs!”
“And the bot fly, don’t forget the bot fly! It’s maggots will feast on your living flesh!”
:shudders:
I feel so much better now SJ*. Thanks.
*this is not necessarily true
Windrose – does this mean that today someone will get a “Ponchoty, Ponchoty, Ponch” at the end of the day?
(Give it to Meredith, she’s sad because her massive link won’t come up.)
I think there’s something … odd … hinky … wackadoodle … with the comments. Ones that I intend to nest aren’t, and one that I specifically knew was supposed to be at the end interleaved itself with other, earlier ones. Random comments anywhere would be interesting …
Edit: OK, I KNOW this was at the end, but it put it right under my last one. WEIRD.
Me too – they keep ending up in odd places.
Random comments anywhere would be interesting …
Yeah Gramps. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that…
Ralph required a whole new wardrobe to accommodate his entry into the Guinness Book of World Records for longest chest hair.
So, now we know what happened to the rest of the horse from “The Godfather”.
A couple others beat me to it, I see, but this was posted on Regretsy awhile back. I wish it was a real listing though. Not because I want to delouse it though.
It’s like the unholy love child between a lucha libre and a low-rent porn star.
*throws a door and too many to list at Kae*
And by “low-rent porn star” you mean “worker in a Tijuana donkey show’, right?
I thought a “donkey show” was something like a dog show until 5 years ago. It’s amazing how naive I was.
And you live in Texas?
I live in Tucson. I used to live in Chicago but they have winter there.
I still am under that impression. Is that something I should just ignore and let my naive little brain go about it’s own business?
I got the “T” part right at least.
Chicago has two seasons — summer and winter.
EB – Yes, yes you should. Under no circumstances should you use your Google-fu on “donkey show”.
You will regret it.
EB, just continue to be naive about them, you really don’t want to know the truth.
Mudsy: I thought Chicago’s two seasons were Baseball and Football?
If said worker at a donkey show has a mustache like my 11th-grade government teacher.
Was it long, bushy, and sprouting from his chest?
We must have gone to the same school!
Best Band Bill of the day:
Low-Rent Porn Stars
opening for
Inverted Candy Corn
2niTe only at the 40watT
So that’s what comes out when the hose lifts it’s tail.
It’s also what comes out when the horse lifts its tail.
Edit button still broken 🙁
Edit: Yup, still broken
*Ahem*
Ah, excuse me and good morning…
*slices an extra-large cafè Cubano from Wednesday*
I am recovering from 1900 miles of road trip and my snarkage has jet lag but— (a bit OT) just lobbed FB requests to those of you that I can identify (Capn forwarded a brief identity list)
Thank you Bridgete and SJ for your quick response! If there was a prize, you’d both have won! But… there is no prize today.
Carry on with the delicious coffee and snarkee cake; I’ll be semi-lurking.
I see that everyone has been busy around here! Lots o’ finely honed witticisms to catch up on.
Aha! I was wondering who that was. Well, you won the
300260 prize, congratulations!*hands over a steaming hot cup of nothing*
Freshly brewed, just for you.
And it is a finely brewed cup of nothing at that! Thank you.
*Posts warning about the effects of Cuban coffee on the human body*
What ever you do, do not drink this stuff late at night.
For those who never had a chance to know abwh, he left this world in June, and is missed by us all. A good man and a good friend even over the internet.
Yeah, seeing this avatar was a bit misty-making.
wow. gigantic WTF. and throw in an ewwww.
Darn, I thought that horse could jump clean through my chest and materialize on the other side. Now I’ve got problems.
At least you’re thinking with portals.
“Free plague upon your house! Smallpox added for no extra charge!”
Holy crap, it’s a YSaC family reunion! *Waves at all of the old regulars*
Oh yeah, captions…um…
I think this could be a pictoral representation of that old “begin a word, end a word” thing they did on Wheel Of Fortune: Horse’s ass hat.
When my oldest was little, she brought home lice from school and shared them with her sisters. Being the kind of mom I am, I called their doctor when the shampoo stuff I got from the store wasn’t killing the little parasites (the lice, not the children). He told me to use mayonaise on their heads and of course, wash all their clothing in hot water. It worked.
I think the ad is a troll who took the ad either from the etsy store or regretsy. If it was real the simple answer to delousing would be to take the nasty horse hair off of it and boil the poncho. The poncho would still be ugly, but it would be slightly less disgusting.
Somehow, you left me wanting some sort of [corey tags] with that one kelli.
Muddy, I swore I put tags on it. The internets ated them.
EDIT – I figured out what I did. I used “<" instead of "[" to bracket the corey tags. I will send myself to the corner now.
I believe that you did. The comments section seems to have a mind of its own today. Must be some sort of bug in the works.
Please pass the Kwell®
I had to google Kwell. I’m not sure I’d want to use a lice/scabies treatment that can cause seizures and death.
Mudsy, I thought so too, right up until the (the lice, not the children). At that point I thought,”Nah, doesn’t need a [corey] now.
I was fascinated about the mayonnaise. Whipped dairy products always get my attention.
Bring out the Hellmans and then bring out the vest!
I have heard from some parents that miracle whip with wasabi is even better–if only for keeping tinier fingers from liberties taken when under-observed.
Muddy, Hellmans is Best Foods on this side of the country. They use the same jingle though replacing Hellmans with Best Foods.
Cap, I can’t imagine putting wasabi on any body part.
1) The slogan makes so much more sense when it’s Best Foods. It still bugs me and I’ve lived in Boston for 3 years now.
2) [corey] Mayonnaise is made from egg yolks, not dairy. [/corey]
Thankyou, Kelli, for that… interesting mental picture. Now I must share it with the world, so you can feel my pain.
I was unfortunate enough to picture Taco rubbing himself down with Wasabi, and then proceeding to apply mayonnaise to his head. All this done as if he’s trying to make a low-budget prawno.
I’ll take a brain bleach, shaken, not stirred.
Well, thanks for that…
I’ll take a brain bleach too, please.
I really wish I hadn’t eaten dinner before reading Astro’s comment.
Once again, I have omitted commas. Please mentally insert them when reading.
I think that guy made an a$s of himself. *snerksnerk*
Edit: D’oh! Looks like someone already made a similar joke.
Is it just me or is the sight of all of that hair coming out of the belly button region first and fore-most highly disturbing, and second after a moment’s though funny when you think it looks like some chick is under there giving the guy head. I mean, obviously Lousy head, but pun aside, wait, what?!
Dude, where exactly is your belly button?
Clearly, he is Kyle XY.
I was displeased with the final episode of that series. It wasn’t very “final”.
Free Poncho Headress NOW!!
Remember the Alamo!!!!!!!!
Ham, all I can think of now is “(Leave Me Alone) Poncho Headress” by Helen Reddy.
*shudder*
Well, I almost did “Don’t cry for me for Poncho Headress” instead of the Itchy song (below in another comment)
But I only had 15 minutes at lunchtime to compose today, Maybe Taco can fly with it, he looks more like Madona then I do. 😀
Army scientists have developed new camouflage which they expect to be very useful in the war on terror. These new garments are sturdy, comfortable, and give soldiers a psychological edge over the enemy, making them look like giant, walking, virgin-eating mushrooms.
I would have guessed it was some sort of visual chastity belt.
My Poncho and your Poncho
Colored like the fire
My Poncho said to your Poncho
“I’m gonna make you scratch like fire”
Talkin”bout…
Horsetail now! Horsetail now!
Itchy, itchy, undies
Jock-itch I feel today
Jock-itch I feel today
Look at my kid all dressed in red
Itchy, itchy, undies
Betcha five dollars(obo) he’ll scratch his head
Jock-itch I feel today!
Jock itch… itchy head???
Oh, bravo… a new way for saying someone has their head up their keister!
Hey now!
Hey now!
I think I lost the island beat with that one HamCanada
A poncho is just so… 70’s.
If retro 70’s is back in style, then you should just keep the lice for authenticity.
And let a bum (or several large, mangy dogs with gastric issues) sleep on it for about a week to get it infused with that authentic “hippie” aroma.
Vince Noir and Howard Moon. The Mighty Boosh. “Charlie” episode.
Howard: Everything’s fun for you, You see a peanut, the day’s off to a good start, you witness some soil, it’s a jamboree for Vince Noir.
Vince: I think it’s this poncho…It’s impossible to be unhappy in a poncho. I’m going to get a sombrero as well… Imagine that, a poncho-sombrero combo… I’ll be off my tits on happiness.
I can kinda see why lice infected whacked out poncho (and his other ‘fashions’ *shudder* thanks Meredith for the link) wouldn’t be for cub scouts – no kid in I know would actually wear anything so hideous it snagged on every branch on the way down the ugly tree.
I think the ‘if you come by 8:00’ it’ll be gone crap is a lie; it’s a ineffective ploy to insist urgency like some pick up lines used by “Dimitri the Lover”.
I know? Is that a suburb of Ish?
Ack, lack of proper caffeine leads to weird grammar.
“no kid I know would…”
“It was a one-eyed, front-tailed, yellow-red-blue People Eater!”
Ok
Ah, see, I worked it out. “Can” as used above means “municipal solid waste collection receptacle.” Sparky is still wearing his posterior as a beret for thinking the trash truck will be around on a Sunday, though.
Or, maybe it’s just more wishful thinking on my part, {sigh}
When you put it that way, it could be inferred that this … thing is currently in Sparky’s waste receptacle, happily absorbing the odors of rotting refuse.
That would also mean that in order to possess The Amazing Technicolor Lice Tent, you would have to dig through Sparky’s household rubbish to get it.
I don’t really see that happening any time soon.
But, it will be gone in a cloud of diesel exhaust soon, so act now! {G}
I think there’s a member of the east German womens swim team under that poncho…
Ok, been looking, and it turns out Mr Gary P Nunn may have the least quantity of lyrics published on the internet of any successful musician.
From “Macho Man From Taco Land” (What I Like About Texas album) is a great lyric about “you can tell by the size of his ponsole” or “if you give him some pelor”
Here is a song I writed [sic] myself, to the tune of La Cucaracha. It was written while in a very silly mood at summer camp between 6th and 7th grade. Except for the third line.
I gotta Taco,
I wanna Poncho,
with a horse’s derriere.*
And this Poncho,
while I eat my Taco,
would be the only thing I wear.
*That was not the original third line. The original was: “made of felt and fun to wear.” This is because it was written after we were supposed to be making pillows out of felt and stuffing and whatnot (or it may have been something entirely different, but I digress) but, after seeing [Name Omitted] make a cape instead, I got me some scissors and made a poncho, which I wore the rest of the day, including during our game of Capture the Flag in the woods with the path that lead to Bond Park**.
**I include this because those of you who live in my general area stand a chance of knowing the part of the Cary Family YMCA I’m talking about.
Oh, and I’m coming in late because I spent the day at Wet ‘n Wild Emerald Point. It was amazing.
Many, many doors, Astro. Too many to list (obo). You’re a time traveler, aren’t you? You either spent the day traveling back to tell your younger self to write a song about ponchos and tacos, or your younger self has seen this post. Which explains quite about you.
I’m afraid not, although if anyone has a spare Tardis for sale that I can take for free…
D/DM, Brace yourself! Ponchity Ponch Ponch! (And thank you, Grampdaddy.)
G’Night, Tucson!
Oh, it hurts so good.
“Oh, this is nothing. You should see how I dress on the weekends!”
Oh dear, I saw this a while back on Etsy… So of course, now I’m wondering if these delightful freebies are being given away by the same person that thought they were a good idea to make in the first place.
Burn them & be done with it. That will take care of the need for delousing, as well!
Trying to load snark…trying to load snark…loading has failed…please insert caffeine and retry later.
Re: Boycotting blogs that have book deals, I will be shortly taking a class on self-publishing. It may be in our best interests to publish our own e-book in the blog (and by we, I mean WHEEEE! Er, Llama-nun and Ostrimu, of course).
Sh!t head!
Okay, Dave, park your submaride over there, we don’t have room for it in the box. Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Flied Lice!