ANTIQUE MUSIC STAND – $45
THIS IS A VINTAGE MUSIC STAND ADJUSTABLE. aSKING 45.00 OBONO E-MAILS PLEASE
CALL KATHLEEN @ xxx xxx xxxx
This seems like a Gift of the Magi situation. If I give you 45 obos for your vintage music stand, what will I need the music stand for?
This is just crying out for someone to compose The Ballad of the George Foreman Grill. Ready, go!
Thanks, bianchisound!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
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Just like a newly formed snowbank to write my name on.
This just in, Trolls have been spotted at YSac defecating and urinating in our pristine environment. More as our story is uncovered.
If you have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
[edited to be nice]
Three quarters and three dimes. Generosity, no matter how small, goes a long way. Namaste 🙂
I was thinking somebody’s got a new sock puppet..??
No lime, I was thinking that Trolls are a metaphor for the progression of goals.
[edited because these need to be edited]
This appears to be random asshattery in action.
Not so random.
This is juvenile enough to be something with candor. We shall taste the lukewarm, impotent wrath of teen angst! Oh woe is us, how will we ever recover?! Why hath thou forsaken us oh Gods of Mount Olympus?
Well, he “forgot” to remove the link to dictionary.com from his name…Annoying and retarded 😉
Noticed that too, did you?
I was trying to be subtle, did it work?
I am not worthy of you nice people. [translated into nice speak]
*deploys stanchions and “Do not feed the troll” sign*
Our work here is done. Ignore …
Dammit, I thought we sprayed for trolls last week!
Ya Sarah…but as you well know, some things just don’t go away.[luckily I can edit to my heart’s content]
I smell [candorman]&^%$^&%#[/candorman]
[edited because it’s a trap]
I’ll be back.
[edited only a little because it’s fair warning]
HamCan… You may be right. He may be crazy. But it just might be the lunatic we’re looking for.
I do believe I misfiled that and need to move it from the ‘C’ file to the ‘T’ file.
Oh no I think I shall go cry in the corner now, some idiot has hurted my feelings. Sob. Sob.
What an asshat.
Next time at least spell my name right.
I find it endeering that he’s adoring himself too. So cute.
Arggh!! Thanks for the earworm LL… I’ll be humming that and cursing the fact all night…
At least someone will be thinking of me tonight. 8)
Heh, yeah, now I’ll be thinking of you whilst I clean the diet soda and nose juice off of my steering wheel and jeans…
That’ll teach me to read YSaC commentary while sitting in traffic…
Bombdude! I hope you were in non-moving traffic, but still, save the snark for non-vehicular reading!
Ahem…this message was brought to you by the self-appointed YSaC Traffic Safety Minister.
Yes mother… 🙂
Absolutely! Sitting in stop and… well, stop traffic…
Don’t worry, I saved the responding for desktop driving…
Sorry if that sounded harsh, I deal with sales reps who call me from their car with their laptops open on the seat next to them and I fear one day I’ll hear a scream, crash, and the phone will go dead. However, right after I posted, I left the house to go to the park and my way was blocked by fire trucks, ambulances and a descending Care Flight helicopter. Soooo…be careful out there, fellow snarkers!
It’s ok, I love you for caring about your fellow man (“man” used in the non-gender form).
😀
ooooo, it’s 420!
I beg to [become your boy toy] Mr. Taco. [I will provide you with eternal] endearing adoration.
[blah blah blah]
Oh snap?
Interesting. I’ve never been trolled before. That’s a different feeling.
Kind of itchy. Not Poncho itchy, but annoying.
[wish he would get a life so I can stop editing his leavings]
Kinda like having a pebble in your shoe.
More sad than annoying.
Sorta like a clown with a popped balloon.
That might be more creepy than sad, come to think of it.
I openly challenge any of you [superior to me people] to a snark off.
[edit edit edit]
[I am a big, empty] clown [who] would be sad if his bottle of liquor was empty…
[edity edit]
Definitely creepy. I don’t like clowns much.
I expect he’ll start calling us stupid meanie-heads before long.
Yeah, clowns give me the jeebies too. Not because of the face paint or the running around crazy, but because of the baggy clothing.
I don’t know why it bugs me, but those huge pants just aren’t right.
REPLACE_BAD_HEAD_WITH_100_HPS
The parachute pants years must have been hell for you.
I was in therapy for years.
I still have nightmares about MC Hammer.
OOOH! We’re all racist, but it’s OK for dictionary-link boy to make gay jokes!
Whatevs, homophobe. I know some leather queens who’d like to express their opinion about that to you in person.
*Points at Lola’s sign*
Oh… right.
*Wanders off*
*Holds the telescope to his blind eye.*
I see no trolls!
[says something from kindergarten]
Good Heavens! Candorweiner was gone for a week and this is the best he could come up with?
It is, however, a very good example why we don’t engage in battles of wits with the unarmed.
He’s new to trolling, give him a break. I’m sure given a few years of practice he’ll get a bit better.
So Capn, are you going to point out that that is not what Horatio Nelson actually said?
Cause I’ve been waiting for it.
What Adm Nelson may or may not have said depends upon who you read. he had his share of “haters” back in the day. And a fair share of those were being quite hypocritical about any dalliances with Lady Hamilton.
Now, if you had sugggested using the right hand to hold the glass to a blind eye, well,that would be offensive the dextrous amputees everywhere.
Ah, my SNCO says we can get a nice set of full enlistment papers for candor, trick now is tracking down who “owes” us to serve the papers {evil laughter}
Thanks Capn’. I knew I could count on you :).
Well, when one has a 29-year veteran SYMC handy, one of similar bent to our own, seems silly not to embrace those sorts of skill sets to our specific ends.
[no. just no]
Hahaha I love love love the amended trolls!! <3
I love the amended trolls, too!
Aaah, censorship. Sometimes, it’s a good thing.
The amended trolls have me laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes. Hooray for editing!
I have no idea where this will land because of the edits, but, to new snarkers, for the record: Smedley is not a troll. Windrose was replying to some fledgling trolls that apparently divided by zero. Also, apologies if this is an echo, I’ve not had a chance to read to the bottom of the page.
Thank you for the clarification, Christina. I am probably more ogrish.
Thanks, Christina. I’m having to catch up on the past few days of snark and thought maybe I’d lost the ability to follow along.
I bet you could play some smokin’ tunes with this thing!
And they would also be low-fat and retain their natural juices.
Deep Purple’s “Smoke on the Counter” for sure! I don’t think it would have the same effect played on 45 obos though.
I want a grill, just like the grill that cooked for dear old dad
Hehehe. Hammy, my siblings and I used to sing that song on long car trips, but we changed it to “I want a girl just like the girl that buried dear old dad.”
hmm, stylesheet seems kind of flexible today. Must be the Equinox.
Some of our local bards wrote a song called “The Necrophile Song”. Kinda has a different meaning when you throw in a grill.
My dad sang a version that went, “I want a beer just like the beer that pickled dear old dad.”
Hey everyone. I’m new to the site. a/s/l?
American Sign Language?
Oh, age, sex, location:
Um, 235, unknown, Skaro. Yup. That’s it.
10597.50,not on the first date, Ganymede
A.Sad.Lion?
Oh! I know this one, TIGER!
adult, you have NO shot, outta your league
Old enough; with actual partners; Texas: What’s it to ‘ya snake?
MYOB, sonny; not if you were the last male on earth; where I kick scarier things than you onto the subway tracks during my commute.
Disco Inferno, baby!!!
You will need some vintage Crisco to keep
“Baby Elephant March” from sticking.
Sorry, coming off nights. My snark hit a lull.
OK, Night night.
Protip: vintage Crisco for better flavor!
And if you were frying a gambler, you could have bettor flavor.
On a warm summer’s eve, on a grill bound for a counter
I met up with a gambler, we were both too tired to sleep
So we took turns at staring, down the garbage disposal in the darkness
Until boredem overtook us, and he began to speak
He said:
You’ve got to know when to fry them
Know when to flip them
Know when to add the sauce
And know when to sautee
You never count your buns, when you’re sitting at the table
They’ll be time enough for counting, when the mustard’s done
PAM!
AMP!
MAP!
A PM!
That brings us back to PAM, (oh, oh, oh)
D’oh! A deer……..
You keep calling out for me, and then when I show up I get ignored. :pouts:
PamCan? Did you and HamCan get hitched? Why wasn’t I invited to the wedding?
HamCan is unhitchable!
He has no hitching dongle…
But she has the same last name as…OMG! Pam is Hammy’s SISTER!
EWWWW!
Boy the way Glen miller played…
What? I’m not seeing what’s so odd here. I mean it’s a pretty specific music stand, as it’s clearly holding and meant only to hold a musical washboard, but it comes with a lid to protect it from the elements. I don’t see a place for the thimbles though — maybe there’s a little compartment in the lid. Still, grab a banjo and a few ceramic jugs and you’ve got yourself a band.
Vintage music stand. Vintage. It clearly is a lute holder.
Are you implying that Hee Haw isn’t vintage?
And no sir, I don’t buy the lute holder thing. Unless you were missing an F; I should see the ridges maybe holding a row of flutes. In fact, this one time, at band camp…
I suppose it could have once held flautas.
Question: what’s the difference between a musical washboard and a regular washboard? Aside from the fact that they’re kind of anachronistic these days (at least in the first world), that is.
A musical washboard isn’t tone deaf?
Well, probably not a whole lot of difference really, except that maybe you can get some washboards made out of materials that are not particularly desirable for use in a musical setting.
Not that I have a clue what I’m talking about. I just used “musical” because of their anachronistic nature in case someone didn’t know what a washboard had to do with music. Or perhaps, for the younger audience, what a washboard was in the first place.
I’m just going to go over there and watch while my guitar gently sears.
[washboard corey] Strictly the use thereof. No actual difference, other than the fact that once someone puts it to that use, sometimes they will attach other percussionistic doodads to the wooden frame, such as small bells and other noisemakers. [/washboard corey]
What bombdude said. Musical washboard has shoulder straps. The fancy ones have clips for mic pickups, too.
In the bg/zydeco world there is some debate about the all-metal-from-the-music-shop washboards and old-found-wood-frame washboards. The latter have individual metal slats (for draining water); the former are simply corrugated metal.
Hmm, I suppose the separation could be said that a musical w/b probably would not wash clothes very well.
Matt Martindale preferred ice cream scoops to play his washboard.
Oops, forgot [free association musical corey][/corey] up there
With a musical washboard, you have perfect pitch when you toss it into a dumpster and it doesn’t touch the sides.
Of course, that rule also applies to banjos.
And mimes.
So if a mime gets tossed into a dumpster, but nobody is around to hear, does it make a sound?
Yes, it’s call applause…
Nice Hammy, nothin’ but dumpster!
Silly people. Sparky knows what’s up. It’s used to hold the Don Juan lyric’s from Phantom of the Opera:
“Here the sire may serve the dam,
Here the master takes his meat!”
I’ll go ahead and say it to get it over with for the day: penis
Ouch!
I think I need more coffee. Lots more.
If it hurts when you say penis, you may want to see a doctor.
They’ll probably prescribe some antibiotics for you to say.
Penicillin
Erythromycin
Amoxicillin
Azithromycin
Ampicillin
Gentamycin
Vancomycin
Piperacillin
Cephalosporin
Cephalexin
Tetracycline
Doxycycline
Those are all the generics I can think of off the top of my head… did you need more? 🙂
So I replied and listed all the antibiotics I could think of off the top of my head, but apparently I spammed again… Argh….
I think I’ll do it again and see how many generics I can come up with in 4 minutes:
penicillin
erythromycin
azithromycin
vancomycin
gentamicin
cirpofloxacin
doxycycline
tetracycline
cephalosporin
cephalexin
amoxicillin
apicillin
piperacillin
I think I got a few extra from last time… Is that going to be enough antibiotics for you to say, SJ?
Sorry, I’m allergic to penicillin. My words will break out in hives.
Careful… If you say all of those in too short a period of time, you’ll overdose and get a loaf of bread…
I would send you some coffee but the last time I tried that the IT people yelled at me.
They never did give me back my funnel.
How do you get the slice to go through the funnel?
Cheese grater.
That’ll do it, yep.
Pre-chew them…
We dont’ think of a broken grill as truely broken, just temporarily a music stand.
That’s a good attitude to have. Likewise, my broken hedge trimmer is temporarily a back scratcher.
[totally mixed up comment]
Other possibilities:
NeuralValley
CerebralThicket
GanglionicClearing
SynapticGlenn
Literalists make me sad.
Sadness makes me literal.
Additional possibilities:
Pre-frontalSteppe
CognitiveVeldt
IntellectualLea
CorticalTundra
ThoughtPasture
CranialSavanna
KnowledgeablePampAss
Gee Trollz, I think one of those is yours.
For “Candor Man”
Macron And Punctuation frustration = yes
Can Random If only more random
Canon Dram I’m driven to shoot down a dram or six
Acorn Damn if this is what fell from the tree . . .
Narc Nomad cool, comix anti-420, woohoo!
A Damn Corn Pain in the, ah, foot = true
Card Man No Not unless I get to show a Red Card
Cam Ran Nod non-verbal assent in Viet Nam (ah, a good destination)
Mac Darn On Got on my fight’n side, sure enou
Cram And On reflects the post count
Can Dram No Probabaly a minor, so, that’s apt
Can Darn Om Ruined my zanshin, that’s for sure
Narc Mad On Admitting to 420 might peeve them, true
Narc Dam On His mom probably not too keen on the basement antics
Narc Ma Nod So, she’d let them in
Narc Man Do Yes, please; do you need directions?
Car Damn On Car, desk, same difference
Ad Man Corn Yep, found in the likely location, too
And Ma Corn Wait, we did pain-in-the, ah (foot) earlier, yes?
Man Ran Cod Run all you want, the fish aren’t skeerd
Man Ran Doc PO’ed more than the Ph.D who frequent here, true
Brilliant, Cap’n. Or should I call you Pac Man C?
Nope, just half-clever with an online anagram generator. That, and a dose of indignation from an abusive troll.
Yeah, and that stainless steel thing to the right of it is a microphone.
“Maaaaaa, the garbage disposal ate my sheet music again!”
“Well, dear, that’s because you didn’t have it properly affixed in the music stand! If it was in the music stand, where it belonged, It wouldn’t have fallen in the garbage disposal.”
I’m glad you said it was a grill. I thought I was looking at a very small desk chair with no legs.
[edited due to stupidity]
I’m trying to come up with a witty retort that matches the level of your brilliantly executed and scathing commentary, and really all I’m coming up with is:
I know you are, but what am I?
*Raspberry*
Too high brow?
Taco, try “Pffffft.”
For the rest of the day I’d like to be known as crhistina. That’s pronounced: KRA! his TEE na. I’ll give you props for using the A at the end, Candor, NY man. Mad props, but no doors. Oh yeah, I found his personal website as well.
So if you bit me I would need an anti-crhistinamine?
Thank you, Hammy, I was going to go for an antihistamine joke, but couldn’t come up with one so I opted for a good old fashioned Klingon name.
Besides, I’d never bite a puppy 😀
Nibble a little maybe?
*ponders if she should edit this*
Edit me or are you talking about the comment you already edited? I won’t mind if I get edited. For the record, I have no idea whose site that is, I found it via a google search for Candor, NY.
But it *does* seem to fit…
Aw, and “canman” at Hawtness* is revealed, as well. [crocodile tears]
__________
*Widely considered a troll, there, as well.
As much as I abhor the use of ALL CAPS, what is with the randomly lowercase a? Not only can Sparky not tell a freakin’ grill from a music stand, s/he can’t even properly* use ALL CAPS.
*”Properly” being a relative term. I still think anyone who uses ALL CAPS in a serious manner should be dipped in ketchup and tied to a red ant hill.
I’d be inclined to agree, but my mother sends all her “important” emails to my sister and me in all caps. Yes, she knows that she is shouting, but her defense is that we were never any good at listening, so old habits must be adapted for the internet age.
christina, I think I love your mother. 8) She goes with the flow!
Mom loves you too, Windrose. 🙂 Oops, I mean:
I LOVE YOU TOO WINDROSE! BE GOOD! DON’T FORGET TO PUT 10% OF YOU PAYCHECK INTO SAVINGS. SAY HI TO THE BIRDIES FOR ME!
Mothers get a special exemption. Everyone else gets the ketchup bottle.
Mine writes in Papyrus font. Now that she is retired, she spends more time choosing the background/stationery for her email than I do. The constant changing reminds me a bit of a 13-year-old girl, but fortunately her taste is better than that (nature scenes, etc.).
I love Papyrus font! With a glitter background. It’s what King Tut would have wanted.
I used to love the Papyrus font, until I started working in the beauty industry and noticed it’s the go-to font for all day-spa employees.
Does it have to be a *red* ant hill? Why not black ants? Fire ants? Do red ants have some affinity for ketchup? is it because of the similarity in color? Why not maple syrup? Inquiring minds want to know!
christina: I think the spa people should use the Horror font instead.
Bombdude – In my area the term “red ants” and “fire ants” are interchangable. As for using ketchup … I can’t really think of a good use for it other than ant-bait. Using maple syrup on an ALL CAPS offender would be a waste of syrup and the offender would probably enjoy it, considering what kind of deviated prevert* it would take to use ALL CAPS like that.
*Movie reference, not a misspelling.
Interesting SJ… I’m somewhat “in” your area, if I remember correctly, and I would swear the fire ants that infest my yard are teeny weeny black ants… Course, I don’t really pay that close of attention to them, other than to denote their camp locations for future retaliatory strikes…
Mudslicker: Horror might be a better fit with the spelling I ocassionally run into, but Papyrus works as well, since some of them type in what I can only assume is heiroglyphic.
I think fire ants are a reddish-brown color with darker butts. Like you said, I don’t get close enough to check without some Sevin dust handy.
And yet you know what color their butts are. INteresting…
Is this a case for Ant Sharpton? “Red ants taking a black ants job, all because whitey ant won’t pay a living wage…”
I was curious and did a Google image search. What I remember calling red ants Google insists are actually fire ants.
Uncle Google just thinks he knows everything!!
I think Uncle Google likes to get wasted on children’s cough syrup and switch the captions on photos just to mess with me.
Sometimes Uncle Google has to take his medicine… and it tastes so good that sometimes he takes more than is necessary…
Now go out and play; Uncle Google has to take his medicine.
The capslock defeated sparky when an actual capital letter was desired. The capslock key is a harsh mistress.
I thought it was the sea that was a harsh mistress. I’m going to ask Cappy about that one.
According to Robert Heinlein, the moon is a harsh mistress.
Aye, though, ’tis fair Selene, ever so full tonight that makes the tide such a complicated assignation. And, from languid torpor to hormone-shattering intensity; never more than a rude tryst, we, but brief partners to be cast aside after use.
There’s a Judy Collins song by that name, too.
“Rude Tryst”?
I think we broke the Cap’n.
I think a “rude tryst” is when you have sex but you don’t say please and thank you.
Ah. So, “Wake up, bitch!” , = rude?
If she fell asleep “during”, I’d say rudeness exists on both sides.
I thought a rude tryst was when you didn’t tip.
Foreplay.
“Wake up, bitch” is not appropriate as foreplay.
“This won’t hurt.
Did it?
See’ya!”
I think a rude tryst creates a harsh mistress…
Of course, I think any mistress becomes harsh when she finds out you’re married and just using her for pleasure…
I do not approve of harsh mistresses or rude trysts.
Dr. Ruth is now Hugh!
I would not be a good secret agent, apparently. What did I do wrong? I cleared my cache and everything. (heh-heh – I typed “everythong”.)
If you used the same email address, it’ll retroactively change previous posts. (Everythong–is that like the TacoThong, after it gets passed around?)
Sometimes caps _is_ hard! After one particularly rough all nighter (I think it was for Jurisprudence *shudder*) my flatmate found me crying over my computer because I “couldn’t make a capital 5”. Apparently I’d been hitting caps, then typing 5 and getting upset when it made no appreciable difference.
George Foreman’s son, George, has branched out. He’s found a niche market for broken George Foreman grills. George is a generous man. His newly formed corporation, George Foreman’s Music Biz, is a family affair. The President and CEO is George Foreman. The Secretary, his older brother, George Foreman, and the Treasurer is his younger brother, George Foreman. The baby of the family, George Foreman, heads up the marketing department.
And don’t forget his lovely daughter, George Foreman. She’s in charge of the Sexual Harassment Department of the franchise. In her spare time, she is busy in the Genealogy Department— keeping everybody straight on the Family Tree.
That has got to be the easiest family tree ever.
“What name goes here?”
“George.”
“What about here?”
“George.”
“O-kay, what about here?”
“George. It’s Georges all the way down.”
They must be a riot at family reunions.
Good thing Adam didn’t do that in the Garden of Eden.
God: What are you going to name that long slitherly thing that gave you the apple in the garden?
Adam: Adam.
God: And how about that other big four legged animal with the mane?
Adam: Adam.
God: So Adam, what are you going to name this four legged animal with the stipes?
Adam: Adam. [or Not.An.Adam]
God: I predict that at some time, long in the future, you will make things very easy on this thing they will call Craigslist.
Adam: Why didn’t they name it Adamslist?
Mudslicker’s looking for another trip to the box.
*ring, ring*
Hello?
Hello, Kathleen?
Speaking.
Kathleen, you’re an idiot! You are a brainless unthinking moron! You should have been drowned at birth. I pray to many gods and goddesses that you haven’t bred yet.
So, do you want the music stand or not?
*click*
Call her back and ask her if the music stand comes with a tuning fork. I could use a new meat thermometer.
Hopefully you’ll get one and not a turkey baster.
That’s what you get if you ask for an oil fider warch.
Meat thermometer? Is that the new euphemism?
No, but that is the new word…
I would be happy to take your temperature…
What?
Well, that puppy does look feverish.
Any port in a storm……..
On an off topic note, EEEEKKKK! A spider just crawled across my keyboard. *quiver. twitch* That is all.
Ummm… Didn’t you have to use your keyboard to type that?
I think the spider typed that.
“Some Pig”
I carefully used my knife with which I had sliced bananananas into my cereal, and escorted the spider to an non-computer location. *residual twitch*
He did better than Taco’s Mug Hands.
Windy did better than I would have. I probably would have run away from the desk and fetched a co-worker.
See, you Right Coast folks are all at work, where as I, on the Left Coast, am still at home, eating breakfast and such. The only person I could have fetched is still asleep. I would prefer to deal with the spiders as best I can rather than wake up Chthulhu.
Oh look, a spider…
HULK SMASH!!!!
:ring ring:
“Hello, Helpdesk”
“Hi… yeah, I need another keyboard up here”
“What happened to yours?”
“Spider…”
Between insects, arachnids, and explosive liquid refreshment discharges, loyal readers must go through a lot of keyboards.
I invested in Logitech stock once this site made it into the top 100k.
Then I just tweaked your bottom line…
What?
Well at least it was somebody with nice knockers.
Welcome back to EXTREME! Orchestra!
Next on EXTREME! Orchestra! the Appleton string quartet is going to be playing Haydn’s Op.8 Quartet in A minor. Their sheet music will be placed on these commercially available George Foreman Grills (Provided to us by our sponsor, J&T Novelty Music Stands). They will have until the music catches fire to complete all four movements. They will start at $5,000, and this money will double for every movement completed, giving them a chance to win $75,000!
If the music catches fire before they can finish, however. They will be awarded no money, and will have to spend 20 minutes in the this bee filled truck, or be forced to leave the show. Two of the members are extremely allergic to bee venom, so there is a lot of incentive to perform well here.
Also, to increase the EXTREME! nature of this musical challenge, the quartet will have to play the piece while battling this swarm of zomb
I always wondered why music was piped into the restrooms. It’s accompaniment for all the movements.
That are then piped out…
Oh…kind of like A Minute to Win It. With Guy Fieri from the Food Network hosting. I get the grill connection now!
The what now?
He’s on first.
What is on second, who is on first.
I dunno.
Third base!
He’s on third.
‘Bout time someone made it to third base.
No, wait – Someone’s in the kitchen with that Dynah woman.
*CLANG*
Look! to the right of the musical stand. It’s a TAP!
And here I thought it was a microphone.
Do you think this stand held the musical score to ‘Grease’?
Prediction: Punchity Punch!
Good one LL…
This reminds me of an exercise I use to do with my students. I’d show them a flower pot and give them 3 minutes to write as many uses as possible for it. From the ensuing list, we’d cross off any use for holding things (pencil holder, change holder, etc.) The higher the number left, the more creative imagination the writer had.
Examples: wear as a hat, use a trio to make wind chimes, cookie cutter, filled with pebbles for a musical instrument.
Obviously, someone used imaginative skills to see this as a music stand. Any of my students would get a high score for this!! (But I wouldn’t want her to cook me lunch.)
I think a few items on my list would send up the red flag and get me sent to the counselor/principal:
*Blunt force weapon
*Shattered and the shards used as crude caltrops
*It’s ceramic so it would probably reduce the energy of a bullet enough to make it non-lethal
*Smoker for small objects
*With some explosives it would make a crude shrapnel grenade
*You could fill it with tennis balls and steel wool and use it as a silencer for those covert missions
*In a pinch, connecting a rope to it would make a decent flail.
There was a reason why in highschool I spent a lot of time with the counseler after all the school shootings. I was very… quiet.
Yes….but obviously very creative!! I think we could use you here at the Acquisitions Dept. of DoD.
I got special attention from the counselors, too. I think it was because; 1) I was quiet with few friends, and 2) I owned a (purple) trench coat.
I had trouble for carrying a steak knife in my lunch bag. It had a country blue handle with ducks on it. I informed the principal and counselor that, had I intended to shank my classmates, I would have opted for a cooler looking weapon. Come to think of it, I might have gotten in trouble more for my response than having the knife.
Ahh….let’s try this with — a cotton ball!
I always used cotton balls to stuff in my mouth so I could talk like Marlon Brando…”I coulda been a contender!”
*Replace missing stuffing from toy
*Pull off small pieces for earplugs
Hmm. I’m out.
Are cotton balls anything like tennis elbow?
No. They’re a lot like moth balls though.
[I will spare everyone from finishing the joke]
penis…
Cotton ball… GO!
*Musket wadding
*Infuse with gunpowder to make a rudimentary fuse
*Light on fire to set off a smoke detector/spinkler
*Cotton Beard!
*Small chloroform sponge
*Add a little mud and you have a small burn pack
*Twist it down to make a short length of twine
Oh, times up.
*When those cotton balls get rotten you can’t pick very much cotton…
Why do most of Taco’s have to do with something catching on fire?
Hey it’s not my fault that cotton balls are
wonderfullyhighly flammable.[Don’t try this at home, Corey] Drop a couple moth balls in some brake fluid sometime[/Don’t try this at home, Corey]
Try pouring/liberally sprinkling some powdered coffee creamer stuff over a small open flame (match, lighter, etc).
“When these beer nuts turn to cotton balls, I’ll come home to you…”
Powdered Coffee Creamer is so much more fun when you condense a lot of it into a toilet paper roll, wrap it, then dip it in wax.
Throw that into your camp fire for some fun.
I like the way you think Taco!
My thought process:
Can it be set on fire?
Yes or No > Cover it with something that is flammable and then light it.
Yeah, having been school trained to make stuff ‘splode, my mind generally works in those directions too.
Poor Tron, I can see how his formative years are going to develop;
“Son, Daddy needs to go put a bandage on this; do you remember the number for the fire department?”
So bombdude isn’t just a clever name then?
Nah, I’m not that clever.
Not very original either… It was a career choice back in ’93
But I am very good with wires… Especially red & blue ones!
Cut the Green! Cut the Green! {g}
People treat the least bit of pyrophilism like it’s some sort of mania or the like . . .
Puccini… Panini… is there REALLY a difference?
I suppose music really could be the food of love…
Or the sound of this thing in it’s natural state makes music to the ears of someone with a love of food?
So you’re saying food could be the music of love?
Well, they say the way to a man’s heart…
…is through his ribcage with pottery shards.
Somebody has been using my workshop without asking me it seems.
*pssst*Bombdude…look up there…we have a troll infestation…just thinkin’ that if you apply your expertise with some precision….
He wouldn’t even hear the *click*?
You have one of those mice with the soft tactile switches?
Yes, but it’s a Logitech! I opted for that when I went optical/laser.
Got tired of cleaning my mouse balls.
What?
Puccini is not known to be fattening in large amounts.
But….Pavarotti always had a few extra pounds.
Yes, but that occurred regardless of what he was singing.
ANTIQUE MUSIC STAND
*Anagram fun*
Quits Antacids Menu (Food for acid reflux sufferers)
Satanic Mud Inquest (Review of evil wet dirt)
Adams nice nuts quit (Eve tired him out!)
Mint Can Quad Suites (New four room home for me!)
Satanic Mud Inquest!
I love it.
Ham’s got a minty new can!
Ham’s got a minty new can!
Ham’s got a minty new can!
Ham’s got a minty new can!
Ham’s got a minty new can!
Ok, I might be channeling EB…or Philip Glass.
That’s what she said…
Aww, I’m not repetitiously nutty aaalll the time, only when I’m a little drugged. And only those two times. :-p
Musician, “Is my music done yet?”
Composer, “Let me check.”
Composer, “Just a few more stanzas, I set the timer to Mozart and it’s between Beethoven and Listz”
Musician, “Oh good my OBO is starving.”
(“Firefly” fans will know the tune …)
It squeezes paninis,
And burgers and trout;
It takes all the fat
And pours it right out.
Our need for hot food
Ain’t hard to fulfill;
The hero of cooking,
The George Foreman grill!
With a one-two punch.. it’s a TKO!!!
George…
The grill they call George…
Ladycrim, you win an internets 🙂
Shiny!
I don’t think there is anyone on here that isn’t a fan.
I’m more of an AC unit…
I’m not a fan, I’m a ceramic space heater with chrome trim!
I’m a copper heat sink with a glycol heat exchanger.
I’m an otaku.
A fan – big deal.
Stand behind a fan and it sucks
Stand in front of a fan and it blows
Stand beside a fan and it does nothing for you.
Once I worked for a company like that……..
I need a fan… and air freshener. Someone in this room farted… very.. malodorous. Pew
Astro!!!
Astro? I was gonna blame the dog.* (My cousins did that once when they were visiting and the dog wasn’t even in the room. It was one of them, which still amuses me.)
*Any dog, really, but you’re nearest … 8)
le Sigh.
Some where, somwher in the foetid jungles of mesoAmerica, poor old late SSGT Barry Sadler’s eternal rest is roiled . . .
Balad of the Green Pannini (Press)
[Painful personal confession] When we got married, Mr. JD and I got 7 George Forman grills as wedding gifts. I am ashamed to say that, lacking any vision or creativity whatsoever, I returned 6 of them. When I consider the uses we could have made of them – anything from hairstyling implements to space heaters to toasty warm storage for Mr. JD’s bait worms – I cringe. [/Painful personal confession]
**hiding under my desk in shame / earthquake preparedness
You could have had a grill reenactment of Guys and Dolls!
Luck be a burger tonight!
I’ve got the steak right here;
I’m going to broil and sear…
And there’s a guy who says, if the weather is clear, we grill, we grill
The man says we sure can grill
We’re grilling Nathan’s! Nathan, Nathan, Nathan’s Hot Dog!
I just regained custody of mine.
That babby grill support is brutal!
I also got back the waffle stick maker and the slap chopper.
Did you get the butcher and the baker too?
***Groucho eyebrow waggling***
She did. And now you know why I’m divorced!
Thanks folks, he’ll be around all week… Try the veal…
The Ballad of the George Foreman Grill, as sung by the talented Rich Hall:
http://www.mundofundo.com/2009/12/rich-hall-on-spicks-and-specks-george.html
“I’ve got a George Foreman Grill, George Foreman Grill
If you won’t cook my dinner, George Foreman will
I’ve got a George Foreman Grill, George Foreman Grill
If you won’t cook my dinner, George Foreman will
He was the master of masters, in the sweetest science
To you he is just a name on a kitchen appliance
How can you be so stupid? How can you be so dumb?
Not to know that George Foreman was as mean as they come
He went eight rounds in Kinshasa with Mohammed Ali
He didn’t float like a butterfly or sting like a bee
He just lay on that canvas all quiet and still
But he was dreaming of the plans for a cheap sandwich grill
I’ve got a George Foreman Grill, George Foreman Grill
If you won’t cook my dinner, George Foreman will…”
Er, this lurker shall let you get back to your regular programming.
I once was at a cafe getting a panino and the counter guys were discussing their professional-size, industrial-grade panini maker vs. a Foreman grill. The ultimate conclusion: “It [the Foreman grill] is really just a waffle iron.”
*waves* Hi guys! I’m new to the party. Don’t really have a snark to share, just wanted to let ya’ll know that I’ve been immersed in the archives all week, giggling like an idiot. I’ve needed the laughter. Thank you, thank you, thank you. ^_^
Hi! Welcome. Please snark whenever you see fit, or even if you don’t. You might be funnier than you realize!
Also: to Rhonda, who wrote yesterday and who seemed to get perhaps a bit too much of my librarian lunacy yesterday: if you were brave enough to come back, please continue commenting and please feel free to snark. You weren’t trolling, and I probably bored you to death; so if so, I apologize, since your interest seemed genuine. We’re not like that most days (professional rants/coreys), though they do happen.
Please join us again!
Hi, Boo! Pull on your Snuggie and get comfy.
As a noob my own self, I would like to pass on some friendly advice: Beware ingesting a refreshing beverage (especially a carbonated one) while reading YSaC posts or comments.* Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
*In a recent development, there may also be spiders. EEEEWWWWWWWW.
Beware ingesting the spiders while reading YSaC as well.
They tickle too much going down.
:waits for inappropriate comments to arrive:
*Your waiting is over*
Here, let me get that for you…gets out meat thermometer.
I knew I could count on you, Hammy ♥
Oh look, SJ has a heart on…
And she has a heart on for YOU!!
Awww shucks
I can’t resist the hypno-puppy!
Hi boo! Welcome to the party! Spiders aren’t so bad, but watch out for the taco’splosions and do NOT rub the puppy’s belly. Apparently, don’t let him take your temperature either.
OT: Here’s something everyone here needs for herself/his loved one. Or Taco.
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/09/23/emergency-remove-bra/ (Yes, I could have spiffyfied the link, but the url makes me giggle. And will make you click.)
Oh gods… I already have people wanting to ‘get into’ my bra… now they’ll claim it’s an emergency!
Quit being stingy, you have two!
Without both of them, I’ll sound like a helicopter when I walk. (fwap, fwap, fwap)*
*may not be true.
You’d probably walk in circles too…
Nah, I have awesome………….. stamina.
Why do I get the feeling that the mens counterpart device will have me looking like Pinocchio?
Liar
Yet another use for the TacoThong…
I’d rather breathe the nerve gas…
“I’m only pulling out enough to win.”
Yeah, I’m with Hammy. There *are* fates worse than death.
Hmm, considering the great range of dimensions in, ah, ‘support garments’ the “fit” of the mask could be an issue. Also, such things (as faint memory serves) require specialized washing care. So, just how many of these would a person need to own, which lthe activated charcoal dried back out?
The question of the disposability of those not needing bro/manssiere also must be raised.
But, I’ve had to carry ProGear for great long lengths of time, too.
And that is way more thought than I had put into the concept. :-p
You never had to spend a weekend withe NBCNCO doing a “fit review” for thirty people.
Or the testing of seals with bitter orange.
Oh, and then having to sit trhough the ProBag packing class.
But, you do hava mask-worthy hair cut {G}
Ugh… Been there, done that…
I had hoped that I would never have to hear those 3 letters in reference to anything other than a major Network again…
Thanks for that Cap’n.
Please tell me the “fit review” is for gasmasks and not … manssieres?
I thought they were called “Brossieres”
I thought that was only if you were African-American.
[Seinfeld corey]
Kramer wanted “bro”; Frank Costanza wanted “manssiere.”
[/corey]
Yes, Andie, “fit” covers a range of ProGear, which has varied through the years. But, primary “fit” is for masks.
But, we’ve had to check booties, gloves, protective suits, hoods and capes for masks, and even canteen adapters in the last couple decades.
Then, there’s the checking of expirarion dates for detection gear, and for decon gear, too.
Winds up being a long, droll, weekend of archaic bookkeeping, all with a taste of synthetic rubber and isopropyl the whole time.
Capn’s checking booties!
Sorry, I’m a 9 year old boy today.
Well, you know what they say – you’re only as young as the man you feel.
Wait, what?
Great Clothespin Jeebus help us. Every lingerie-sniffing perv on the planet will want this to become a huge success.
(Is it wierd that I kind of want one?*)
*An emergency bra, not a lingerie-sniffing perv
I think I’ll keep one in my glove box…
“Ma’am, you better put this on quickly, there’s an emergency!”
Hammy, I’m surprised you aren’t trying to get them off of any women in your car …
Well, they have to take theirs off to put mine on…
EB, I totally read your comment about the link as “the url makes me jiggle”.
*pervy snicker
But it’s only available in B and C cups. I guess if you’re an A cup or larger than a C cup, she doesn’t want you to survive.
I think we should start a new cause…
“Save the Double D’s”
We already float…
I mean… yeah!
What?
“Save the World”?
Hey save the Double Dog Dares* too!
*not as awesome a name as Dunkin’ Donuts, but it can be…appropriate.
Not that I want to push Mudsy out of the Don’t Suck box, but appears drmk is busy today. If I were at home I could access the Command Center(tm) and update the box. But at work, I shouldn’t even be here. (shhh!) So here is my nomination for Don’t Sucking from yesterday’s comments:
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=5348#comment-68948
How do we know this comma went to Oxford? I think it might have gone to East Idaho Community College and is just fronting.
AndieJD
http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=5348#comment-68983
Heck, for all we know, it may have just paid the 200 obos and gotten one of those online diplomas…
Bombdude
I will update it when I get home tonight. Congratulations!
Hey, I have one of those antiques in my kitchen already. And here I was using it to grill chicken. Silly me!
PSA: Tomorrow is Grampdaddy’s 60th birthday. Plan accordingly.
I’ll bring the camera!
…okay… and the vodka for his present.
His own flask!
I promise to bake a cake. No, really!
Oh, I don’t even want to think about cakes…. Ugh!
I am knitting him a new Snuggie.
I’ll bring the walker…
I’ve booked the pointy-breasted Burlesque-ateers, they’ll be here at five.
I made cake-mix cookies. Someone else will need to get on the coffee-slice ganache.
Crap, I just realized my own father’s 60th is next month. I better get planning.
Okay, very OT, but does anyone have any idea why a Wacom tablet’s pen pressure functionality would suddenly be on the fritz? I’ve tried downloading new drivers and resetting the personal settings, but it hasn’t done anything to help. My pen thinks that I’m using full pressure all the time, and it keeps skipping. It is really driving me nuts.
Try turning it upside down and shaking it…
I’m impressed, Hammy. With an Etch-a-Sketch joke I figured you’d say something about fiddling with knobs.
She’s to young for knob fiddling.
A couple of things, possibly…
Connected through a USB hub? If yes, connect directly to the computer.
Downloaded new drivers you say? did you just install them over the old, or delete the device first?
Have you rebooted yet? (I know, stupid question, but hey, it *is* Winblows, right?)
Nope, it’s connected directly, and I deleted the old driver completely, then rebooted several times. Everything else about the tablet seems to be working fine–the pen is working, but only on one pressure level. I’m beginning to think it’s really just a pen problem–which I still don’t know how to solve.
Pull the tip out and put it back in again*
*Knock it off you pervs, I’m talking about her pen!
Just now tried that, no luck–crap, I was really hoping that would work. It maybe time for drastic measures. I may need to call customer service *bum bum bum*
Look on the forums for your tablet, there was a bunch of good ideas on there.
Doesn’t Silva use one of those? You could probably send her a message through Deviant Art and see if she’s had the same problem.
Yes, I use a Wacom Bamboo tablet. Except I’m not very good at figuring out technology gone wrong.
I either run to my boyfriend and go “wahhh my computer’s broken, fix it” or if he’s busy, I run to BestBuy and have the geek squad take care of it.
The best I can do is re-direct you to a website with some troubleshooting suggestions: http://www.fixya.com/support/wacom
Could be the pen–one of the reasons I stopped using a separate pad. Pad always seemed to out last stylus.
I had to go approve my own message, that I sent from work, because it had two links in it. Sigh. Anyway, I got the Don’t Suck box updated just after my post about it appeared, instead of the intended several hours after. Be back soon to punch our two newest Don’t Suckers!
Wow, First time caller, long time (well, maybe 2 weeks) lurker, and I already got hit in the box…
Yippee!!
Wait, um… I mean… Football! Nascar! MMA!
Well, we’re sneaky like that. Although I am surprised Hammy didn’t at least offer to buy you a drink first.
Congrats on your first trip to the box!
Hope you like being in the box, Bombdude.
What?
AndieJD, Bombdude, here are your brand new YSaC cards. Now, hold them up proudly. Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Koom Valley!
I have to tell ya… You guys (sorry, and gals) really do save lives!
I can’t tell ya how many times, due to multiple hour conference call stupidity and absolute seemingly intentional rectal/cranial intersection, that I want to end someone’s miserable existence!
Then I come here for a few, and “ahhh”, it may not be all better, but it’s endurable again.
I found YSaC just in time to avoid the 11 O’Clock news…
Well, congratulations — at not sucking!
Guess that intervention was timely enough. Remember to check in with your sponsor at least 3 times a day.
And to the most High Priestess of Awesomeness…bees be upon her….thank you, thank you, thank you, for making an incredibly painful Friday morning easier to bear with your clever editing of the trollz.
I nominate The Edited Trolls for band name of the day!
Drat! It looks like I missed some good troll action yesterday. That’s what I get for actually trying to conduct a real life. I knew I should have checked back in sooner. Just the other night I was wrapped up in my Snuggie, reading Mastering the Art of Troll cooking (Sparky was selling it for $.50OBO at a garage sake last weekend) and found a recipe I wanted to try. Guess I will have to make burgers on my antique music stand for dinner tonight.
Damn! I missed all the smackdown!
Blessed be drmk for going all Mighty Mouse [here I come to save the day…!] on the bottom feeder(s).
I’m not positive, but it *might* have been our birdie loving friend that did the editing, rather than our beloved Llama-nun, bees be upon her. Either way, reading the edits before bed last night had me doubled over with laughter.
I think it was Windy, the Llama-Nun* is probably too busy torturing freshmen this time of year.
*Bees be upon her.
I stand corrected! I kind of got that impression after I had perused ALL the posts.
Windy, is it okay for a bird lover to be a Mighty Mouse as well? You’re the bestest.