YSaC, Vol. 1092: Meme week, Day 2: Ottoman.

2011 October 4

Just when you think you’ve seen every possible permutation of ottoman

couchs, end tables, kitchen tables, rocking chair


For sale! fill your whole house. Beautiful sectional microfiber couch with odiment , $220.00 matching Chair and two odiments. $100.00 Plum colored rocking chair, $25.00 Beautiful kitchen table with glass top. $50.00 Give me your best offers.

couch & chair W/ fool stool – $150


Couch & chair With oudimum $150.00 Green in color

I was curious to see if an odiment was actually a thing. I don’t know why — it’s a terrible Scrabble word, other than being a bingo, since the only thing worth more than one point is the D. As long as you’re making stupid words, Pigstick is a much better word, and all you would need different on your rack is a P instead of an O, a G instead of a D, an S instead of an M, an I instead of an E, a C instead of an N, and a K. I mean, you’re so close. It’s almost worth turning in your whole rack because really, what are the chances of you getting QZYXTHT again?*

Anyway, an odiment. Turns out, it’s not a thing. But despite its complete lack of thingness, a rhyming dictionary offered me suggestions for other non-things that rhyme with odiment. Like emhodiment, which turns out to be an OCR-misread of embodiment. Either way, I think that’s cheating, Mr. Rhyming Dictionary; it’s no fair rhyming a word with another word that contains the word itself. It’s like rhyming nerky with anerky.

Oh, right, there’s oudimum too. Sorry, I just can’t go on. I’m exhausted. I wish there was somewhere I could put my feet up.

Thanks to Tara and Matthew!

*Note: I have had this very Scrabble abomination. I pronounced it QZYXTHT.

84 Responses leave one →
  1. 2011 October 4
    Windrose permalink

    All better now. A 9 and a 6 look so much alike. 8)

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 October 4

      Whew, almost had an emergency there, Windy.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 October 4
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Yeah. Lucky Taco and I kept calm and didn’t panic!

        *hides homemade shiv under cushion in lounge*

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4
          evilqueen112 permalink

          No no don’t put it there hide it under the odiment!

          Adores: 8
    • 2011 October 4
      Lola permalink

      For a moment there, we nearly had anerky in the Yousuckay!*

      *Yes, I know it’s terrible. *gets coat*

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 October 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      The one day I am up earlier than normal…I have to deal with withdrawal symptoms.

      And it’s not a good idea to drink before work. It helps, but it’s not a good idea.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 October 4

        And it’s not a good idea to drink before work. It helps, but it’s not a good idea.

        *hic*

        Thash infurmashun that woulda been hepful shree ares ago.

        *hic*

        Adores: 9
    • 2011 October 4

      What did I do?

      Edit: Oh, I think I see. It looks like I wrote the whole post, saved it, and then never bothered to save the pesky details like when it was supposed to go live, the category, and the tags.

      D’oh. That’s what I get for writing a post late at night. Well, that, and the incoherent mess you see above.

      Adores: 6
  2. 2011 October 4

    Do as you oudimum, ad acid to… chrysanthemum?

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 4
      Jen permalink

      Adding acid to the chrysanthemums sounds like something Miss Marple’s evil twin would do to brighten up a long day at the rest home.

      Adores: 5
  3. 2011 October 4
    mud "" slicker permalink

    I want a fool stool! And it rhymes too!

    Adores: 3
    • 2011 October 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      fool stool

      Where my husband sits when he decides it’s time to be ‘King of his domain’.

      Adores: 6
  4. 2011 October 4

    I’ve had JOZXYKQ once. Luckily, I’ve never had to say it.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 October 4
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Well, then I hope the doctor’s knew why you were there and that there was an antibiotic for it.

      Having it and not being able to say it…is a very bad thing.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 4
        Lola permalink

        Fortunately, Valtrex is easy to say. 8)

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 4
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        You know what they say: It’s no shame to have it, but it is a shame to keep it. Or to pass it down to your friends.

        Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 4

        The doctor’s WHAT, mudsy?? I’m dying to know!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          You’ll have to ask Taco to explain. It’s his “issue”…..

          *keep this just between you and me*

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4

          I told you to stop working my side of the street, Mudsy.

          *Pouts*

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          Sorry. I thought this was your day off. You weren’t wearing your CFM pumps.

          😉

          Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 4

      It’s pronounced “Throat Warbler Mangrove.”

      Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 4
      Meej permalink

      I’ve got a good friend who uses that as his online moniker, only he swaps the Q and the K…

      And I have no idea how he pronounces it.

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 October 4

        Actually I typoed it. The Q and K should be the other way around.

        I can’t even spell a fake word correctly.

        Adores: 8
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          😀

          Victory!

          Adores: 1
  5. 2011 October 4

    odiment
    n
    1. Matter that sticks to the bottom of a shoe
    2. Material that has been deposited by Steven Wright, Lewis Black, or Rowan Atkinson.

    Adores: 10
    • 2011 October 4
      LimeLolly permalink

      odiment:
      1) the finishing touch to a snarky sammich

      3) the hidden thing smelling behind the couch

      Adores: 7
      • 2011 October 4

        Sorry to over-analyze, LL.

        [super-anal technical writer]

        the hidden thing smelling behind the couch

        Is it a hidden thing that is smelling the odor that’s coming from behind the couch? Or is it a thing that is hidden behind the couch and emitting an odor?[/super-anal technical writer]

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 4

          Can’t it be all of those?

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          Heh. “Super-anal.” Heh heh.

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Yes. It is an interpretive statement, take it how you mean it. Hopefully, not anal.

          Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 4
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      odiment: That sad Christmas decoration that was never quite pretty enough to actually put on the tree.

      Adores: 9
    • 2011 October 4
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Odiment: the ointment that made Michael Jackson o.d.

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 4
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      Or it could be a failed flavor/name that Wrigley’s rejected for their gum.

      “Odiment: When All You Want To Do Is Get That Bad Taste Out Of Your Mouth”

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 October 4
        Bombdude permalink

        failed flavor/name

        Is there such a thing?

        As an example, I give you Schweddy Balls

        Anybody for some ice cream?

        Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 4
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          No.

          Freakin’.

          Way.

          I thought this was a joke. This is a real Ben and Jerry’s flavor?! It says it has malted milk balls in it. I wonder if it’s salty, too.

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 4

          That’s one of my all time favorite SNL skits. I totally need to buy a pint of that when we get close to the holidays!

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 4

      I thought shoe detritus was “Pediment.”

      Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 4
        mud "" slicker permalink

        quilty, quilty…

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4
          Lola permalink

          Quilty is one of the characters in Lolita, isn’t it? Ew.
          /lit nerdery

          Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          You are exactly right. Dracula played him in the updated version. Langella.

          Adores: 3
      • 2011 October 4
        funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

        Ahhhh! Taco! Is that a rash?

        Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4

          It’s that word. It makes all the kitties hide under quilts.

          Adores: 1
  6. 2011 October 4
    Lola permalink

    odiment = odd condiment

    Plum ketchup for your sausage?
    Bleu cheese whipped cream for your vegetable soup?
    Onion chutney for your ice cream?

    … I’ve just made myself sick. I’m going to go in the corner and lie down until the feeling passes.

    Adores: 8
    • 2011 October 4
      Jen permalink

      Is it wrong I thought all of those things sounded delicious?

      Mmmm, odiments… Still not paying $100 for them, though.

      Adores: 3
  7. 2011 October 4

    Ottomans? All they ever did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 4

      I do believe you mean the Austro-Hungarians. The Ottomans were full of furniture for some reason.

      Adores: 5
      • 2011 October 4

        …The site just accused me of cheating when I clicked ‘Adore’ on Taco’s comment o.O bwa?

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 October 4

          Cheater!

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 4
          funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

          It knows you’re his sister.

          Adores: 4
  8. 2011 October 4

    Relationship drama with matching odi et amo. $220 or give me your best offer. You’ll feel ready for the fool stool in no time.

    Adores: 4
  9. 2011 October 4
    Windrose permalink

    Despite fierce competition yesterday, Sister Lyle is in the box! I’ll be printing out your words from yesterday so you can eat them, Sis. Just goes to show you need to cuss more to get lots of adores. 8)

    Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 4

      Damn skippy!

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 4
      funky "eMonkey" monkey permalink

      You bet your f’ing ass!

      Too much?

      Adores: 1
    • 2011 October 4

      OT regarding swearing

      Now that I’m working graveyards, I’ve noticed my potty-mouth has gotten worse. It definitely comes from working with a bunch of guys that have learned that I’m not offended by swearing and will join in if appropriate.

      /OT

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 4
        Lola permalink

        I got that way working surrounded by a bunch of guys, and then I went to college … and then I hung out with journalists. Some of best (relative term, I realize) cussers I know, however, are female. More creative.
        On the other hand, I totally compartmentalize. If there’s a chance that children or old ladies/my parents can overhear, I edit/censor myself. Kids will learn that shit soon enough without my help.

        Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 4

          I have the oddest coirkers; most of them not only don’t curse, they refer to cursing as “blessing” – i.e. “I really got blessed out today.” “She really blessed me good.”

          Adores: 4
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          It depends on your meaning of the term “blessed.” I’d like to think of it as a euphemism for doing the nasty.

          Now those terms make perfect sense!

          Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 4

          Thanks for that, mudsy – now every time one of my coirkers says that I’ll burst into laughter and utterly ruin my reputation for being an emotionally barren robot.

          Adores: 4
      • 2011 October 4

        I used to work on building sites a lot and the men (there were never any other women) would usually swear in front of me then ‘remember’ I was there and say something dumb like ‘Pardon my French’ (an expression which really annoys me) – I never bothered pointing out that not only did I not care, and frequently used far worse language myself, but that I knew those words in German and Swedish as well.

        (I know a lot of German words, but only two Swedish ones and both of them are very, very bad.)

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 4
          Lola permalink

          I know two words for food in Hungarian, and the rest are obscene insults. (I lived with someone whose parents were (a) Hungarian and (b) expressive.) Multiculturalism’s great! 8)

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 4
          Jen permalink

          The only German sentences I know come from a hilariously offensive “German Sketch” from a show I was in years ago. No actual cursing but the arrangement of otherwise innocuous words results in definitely-not-‘company’-talk. Or in fact ‘utter-in-the-presence-of-other-people-even-if-they’re-just-weirdos-on-the-bus-at-2am’-talk*.

          *Sorry affronted-looking lady with many bags on the night bus last month. I didn’t realise you spoke German. :s

          Adores: 2
        • 2011 October 4
          Windrose permalink

          Ratty, I used to say Pardon my Klingon. Just as silly a response but maybe a smidgen funnier.

          Adores: 1
        • 2011 October 4
          LimeLolly permalink

          Just don’t cuss in church. All the pews are flammable.

          Adores: 2
    • 2011 October 4

      Well, fiddlesticks and fiddle-dee-dee, is that how it’s done?

      Adores: 4
  10. 2011 October 4

    Don’t speak the language?

    Just ask me, I can tell you what Odiment.

    Thank you, Rosetta Stone!

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 4

      Oudi Odi had children, some.
      “Bangly Fongly,” said the Oudi mum.
      Away she wandered after her message sent,
      And we can only wonder what Odi ment.

      Adores: 7
  11. 2011 October 4

    [OT]I don’t know if it was one of the regulars, or a lurker, but I’m apparently infamous.

    Last night I was playing Swords and Potions over on Kongregate, and cruising the chatroom stirring up trouble when I got a private message from one of the other players asking if I was the same TacoMagic from YSaC.

    o.O We’re Big-Time* people!

    *May be 79% less Big-Time than indicated.

    Adores: 9
    • 2011 October 4
      mud "" slicker permalink

      Maaaaaaaaaaaaa! Someone’s stalking me!!

      😀

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 October 4

        I’m supposed to be doing all the stalking around here!

        Adores: 3
        • 2011 October 4

          Best check to see if they took the squirrel costume as well.

          Adores: 2
  12. 2011 October 4

    Tweak. Oddment. Blubber.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 October 4

      On second look, I realize I’ve got this in the wrong order. That’s what I get for trying to do it from memory rather than looking it up. Here’s what I meant:

      Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

      Adores: 6
      • 2011 October 4
        Lola permalink

        I still knew what you were talking about!

        Now we can eat!

        Adores: 2
  13. 2011 October 4

    You gotta be really careful when boiling your clowns. They contain high levels of Odiment that can leech out during the boiling process and calcify on the inside of your pans. Calcified Odiment is hard to get off and makes anything else you try to cook in that pan taste funny.

    I’ll be in the corner.

    Adores: 6
    • 2011 October 4
      mud "" slicker permalink

      I think they calcify on the inside of your pants. It’s called Clown Spooge.

      Adores: 1
      • 2011 October 4

        Clown Spooge is IF’s Limp Bizkit parody band.

        Adores: 6
        • 2011 October 4
          mud "" slicker permalink

          I thought it was Nine Inch Pails.

          Adores: 1
  14. 2011 October 4
    TinyBallOfLight permalink

    – Neville is not an idiot, and Luna is not an odiment!
    – I grow weary of contradiction…

    Adores: 4
  15. 2011 October 4
    evilqueen112 permalink

    I wonder if the odiment will match my decorator chickens I got last month.

    Adores: 3
  16. 2011 October 4

    fool stool

    Lou’s idiot cousin?

    Adores: 2
  17. 2011 October 5
    Windrose permalink

    Sis, you really deserve this Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Fool Stool on the Hill!

    Adores: 1

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