YSaC, Vol. 1421: Somebody (else) to love.
I need you to tatoo Justin Beiber, Barack Obama, and Tupac across my b (DC/MD/VA)
I need you to tatoo Justin Beiber, Barack Obama, and Tupac across my back. I will pay you $30
I’m trying to imagine what confluence would lead to these three being represented together. At first I thought maybe Sparky here thought that the Biebs was a reincarnation of Tupac. I mean, that would make sense, right? But no, JB was a sprightly two year old hellspawn when Tupac shuffled off this mortal coil. Which, of course, COULD mean that the Biebernator was the one who ordered the hit on Tupac, thereby setting up his future domination of the eardrums of legions of tonedeaf pre-teens.
But how does Obama fit into this, you ask? Well, clearly, Obama would have made Tupac the Ambassador to Micronesia at some point during his administration, which would have upset the delicate balance of power in the drywall industry mafia, thus depriving said tonedeaf pre-teens of places to attach their Bieber posters with their tears and dried Bonne Belle LipSmackers-covered kisses.
That’s my theory, and I’m sticking to it. Because otherwise this is just weird.
Thanks, MF!
And one thing we never do here at YSaC is weird stuff. Tits aside.
My sweater hams are many things, but they’re not weird. I think.
Sparkadamus predicts the Craigslist ads of 2014:
I need a referral to a cut-rate laser tattoo-removal service to remove a large, extremely crudely done tattoo.
Will pay you $20.
I have a sander I’ll rent to him for fifteen dollars, but he has to change the sandpaper before he gives it back. I don’t want to get shreds of idiot all over my woodworking.
Shreds of Idiot is IF’s Tupac Beiber cover band.
Ok, that took a moment, a long moment, to recover from the mere imagining of the Perdition which would be a Bieber-Tupac duet.
Makes contemplating stampeding herds of steel-toed, iron-horned, flame-exhaling livestock across an endless sky for eternity seem like a weekend camping trip. (Not that being endlessly on horseback while living on a diet of beans and meat scraps is all that pleasant…)
Chickadees aside, I’ll be in my blanket-fort . . .
The great thing about this country is that there’s someone in the intersection of every pop culture trend. I expect there’s someone out there who would love tattoos of G.W. Bush, Marlon Brando, and Avril Lavigne.
DA will you be at the YSaC 2013 Vegas convention? *wink, wink*
Would said person be aware that a simple tat costs a bit more than dinner for two, too?
Putting Marlon Brando in a tutu costs a LOT more.
Step aside, rontattooman to the rescue. Aka realscumbag. http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=2420
I’m really hoping this is a set-up for a super-elaborate practical joke;
“Okay, I’ve got the tattoo artist ready and the shaved baboons on stand-by. Now let’s go get Sparky blackout drunk!”
“Shaved Babboons on Standby” is IF’s Barbra Streisand Experience band.
Stand aside, this is a task for Realscumbag Rontattooman.
Clearly Sparky is a devoutly pious Catholic. The father, the son, and the holy ghost (not necessarily in that order).
If I’m going to do this guy’s tattoo, he needs to be more specific about where he wants it. Across his “B” could mean his back, his belly, his butt, his boobs (some guys have ’em), his balls, his… boner… Help me out here, Sparks.
His brother.
His beagle.
His Bantam chicken. (after he plucks it. maybe he wants to eat their likenesses)And no, that wasn’t a euphemism. Although it could be if you really thought about it. But I don’t want to thin’ about it. So I won’t. You can do the thin’in’ around here TC.
Well, the text said he wants it on his back, so I assume he means Tupac on one shoulderblade, Obama on the other shoulderblade, and Bieber on the other other shoulderblade.
You’d think that circus-folk would have better taste than this, maybe go for something classical like a wreath of flaming skulls or a pictorial representation of the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.
Or, as some commentators insist of speeling it in my hometown forum–the wreak of the E. Fitzgerald. (They also like to caution others about car wreaks on local byways, too.)
Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you met Lydia?
Lydia the tattooed lady.
She’s got eyes that folk adore so
And a torso even moreso…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlkFmtr9fyE
You forgot unrealistic expectations. $30 for the faces of three people? You’re dreaming Sparky!
Hey, it’s $10 a person! Or maybe $12-$6-$12 as they appear in the picture. That’s enough, right?
Sparky never said that had to be good likenesses.
*starts practicing stick figures*
Or very large.
(Notices organizer on desk has a fine-point Sharpie and a stick-pin of unknown sharpness . . . O Pinky!)
What if Justin Bieber and Barack Obama don’t want to lay across your “b” and get themselves tattooed?
[justin] Since he’s dead, the Tupac request has to be a joke lol [/justin]
[justin] must be kin to [jason].
His twin brother.
This was before I had my daily dose of heroin latte this morning. I need to stay off the boards the rest of the day. First day of classes here. Major distractions.
He never said he wants a picture and it seems he likes acronyms. JBBOT…. wait I think there is a hidden message, let’s reverse that: Top BJ.. Upps where is the corner?
“I’m trying to imagine what confluence would lead to these three being represented together. ”
50 shades of Black? (-47% of course).
Are all the corners taken yet?
Nah, the newly renovated Snark Lounge has extra corners.
For $30, I think this guy is available…
Rumor has it Cecilia Giménez is thinking about opening a tattoo parlor.
That’s actually a pretty good painting she’s got on eBay, though.
People pay money for these? They look like something a bored teenager would doodle on themselves with a ballpoint. I think just looking at the pictures gave me hepatitis.
A $30 tat of three faces would look like ;> ;’/ :), I’m guessing. Don’t know how to tell which one’s which, though. If there’s a tattoo artist who could detail ;> enough to make the viewer think of Beiber, that artist deserves a special honor.
No, and there’s no negotiating this.
No we can’t.
:squints:
POTUS looks … different than I had imagined. More fluttery and tankish.
I think the answer is
:poop:
:poop:
:poop:
Look at all those Willys!
Will I get another $5 if I tattoo them all as the three heads of some hideous eldritch gorgon?
Yes, we’ll organise a whip-round. This I have to see.
Maybe if you did a Hydra instead…
Why exactly does Sparky actually “need” this tattoo? A bet?
Also, I have a teeny tattoo (about an inch and a half long by three quarters wide) which cost me 25 pounds in 1998. Allowing for inflation and the exchange rate, $30 is going to buy Sparky one corner of Tupac’s bandanna.
If memory serves, it was around $1.5 = £1 in those days.
Having run into some firefighters from Northampton a couple of summers ago, bottle beer prices were identical–Budweiser being £2.50 there and $2.50 just down the road from the famous fire school.
So, Spark’ wants this objet d’art for £12-15; maybe €20-22
And, we still do not know whether Spark’ wants to be the canvas, or the chair/table upon which arte is to be accomplished, either.
<shudder> Have a towel, now to find a pint and some prawn crisps . . .
Prawn crisps? You cannot be serious! We’re all about the posh flavours now – smoked chili and goat’s cheese, or caramelised red onion and balsamic vinegar. I swear I’m not making this up. Those are actually rather good flavours.
The Beiber Effect
If a Beiber gets tatooed onto a back via craigslist…?
Is anyone there to notice?
After being sick in bed for many days with only the internets to entertain me- I can now proudly declare that I have read not only every YSaC post, but all of the comments as well.
I feel like I am now on the in with most of the inside jokes but, tits aside, I can not figure out the llama-nun references & I want to be 1 of the cool kids.
Did I miss a comment or post?
Did I read it while enveloped in a mind erasing Thera-Flu fog?
Please help & I promise to be snarky, random & hilarious in future comments.
First of all, welcome, and kudos for reading all the entries!
/corey/ The llamanun came from our glorious leader’s atavar which some devout followers took to be a llama whilst other equally devout followers claimed to be nun. Hence the Llamanun (Bees Be Upon Her) was born. /corey/
* this may or may not be true *
True enough! And Stormy, we hang out on Facebook too!
Dave, Digi, Hammy, and Archie, you make my weekends sing! Or groan. Depends on the subject. 8) Punchity Punch Punch!
Good Morning, Illustrated Men!