YSaC, Vol. 1449: That’ll do, dockey. That’ll do.
2013 February 14
2 DOCKEYS AND SOFA&LOVE SEAT
DONT FLAG ME PLEASE…….i am given away 2 dockeys you must know how to lasso them ,,, they never been lasso before ,, we also have love seat and sofa good condition,,, you must take dockeys and the living room set.. FREEE
I’m not sure which is scarier – someone who will haul off a living room set so they can get a pair of donkeys, or someone who will adopt a pair of donkeys just to get a living room set.
Oh wait, I know – the person who posted this is the scariest. That, or the possibility that instead of “donkeys” they’re actually misspelling “jockeys.”
Thanks for the post, Jodi!
I don’t think they meant jockeys. All jockeys must be lassoed before their first race. They run free in a pasture until racing season, then they are lassoed and dressed for Mardi Gra and put on a mine hors.
Happy V.D. Everyone!
Free-range jockeys are leaner.
I think they meant hockeys, and they want to get the puck out of there…
I was thinkin’ it is his abbreviation for dachshund.
I’m a little worried about what they may have done to the sofa and love seat if he is giving those away with the dogs…
Even scarier to contemplate what free-range donkeys might have done to it…
Sure hope the doxies didn’t leave any dookies on the sofa.
#3 on list of things I used to tell ex-husband: Get your ass off the sofa and go do something productive.
If you’re having donkey problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems but a sofa ain’t one
How about if I lasso you and flag the donkeys?
I never lasso on a first date.
Hog tie? calf rope? Maybe just a little horsing around?
I know! Ham String!
Dude! Barrel Races!
Ham string! you know, HamCan may take umbrage with this!
Just trying to look out for you, Hammie.
“Don’t flag me, bro!”
Then pull yer gaddurn pants up!
Of course you’re getting flagged. You’re giving away free pieces of… Nah. Too easy.
Which is what some folks look for in a good piece of … hello, corner!
“And in the mornin’, I’m makin’ waffles!!”
I locked my dockeys in my boat weeks ago, I though I would never find another set…
*gets out lasso”
Git along, little dockey
Sparky, what a Jankass…
Put on your Dockers or maybe a Dickey.
Too many gawkers say my stuff is icky.
So lasso my dockey, he might be a kicker.
Please do not mock me, you you won’t have to dicker.
Come get my dockeys and bring your own lasso.
You must take them both so don’t be an assho’.
My sofa and love seat, no you can’t be picky.
Must take them with dockeys, You can’t be finicky.
Rats, you got Dockers and dickeys before I did.
If you get your dickey stuck in your dockeys, you have some major problems!
Sartorial scoliosis, perhaps?
I really wanted to get doohickey in there. I didn’t want just hickey though because someone would say something like “Donkey Hickey is IF’s Kiss, Bad Ass Band mash up band.” Then I might have to kick myself.
OUCH!
And now you’ve said it yourself. So you have earned your own good kick.
OMV that adore is for the rhyming genius of pairing “lasso” with “assho”. I know somewhere Elizabeth Barrett Browning is kicking herself for missing out on that one.
I used my poetic learner’s permit for that one.
Bring a tiny lasso. D·o·c·k·e·y is how Sparky spells Chewahaw.
Sparkey is dorkey ‘cuz he can’t spell donkey.
Due to budget cuts here at Pee Wee’s Playhouse, we have to let some of you go.
As long as Pee Wee lets go of himself first….
My doorkeys have been trained to stay in my pocket; no lasso necessary. I wouldn’t want feral doorkeys unless they’ve been spayed and neutered.
And the furniture is probably French Presidential; it’s easy to loose your doorkeys in that style.
That was pretty dorky…
“Who gives this Sparky to be lawfully posting on this Craigslist?”
“Her other dockey and I.”
Oh wait! I know this one!
Is the punchline….”…and he said ‘Jabroney'”?
No?
Dammit. I can never remember a joke.
Aww, puir Sparky, thinking is obviously not their first from of sapience . . .
But, y’gotta commiserate–we all might be willing to give up some furniture to be rid of a couple of un-indicted stevedores squatting in one’s bed-sit . . .
What an ass.
Agreed. He should go burro under a rock somewhere.
Pairing animals with furniture is nothing new. Perhaps you remember a pool table and ass?
Grampdaddy used to tell about peddlin’ his ass all over town, wonder if he needs a replacement yet?
2 DOCKEY, or not 2 DOCKEY: that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler on the list to suffer
The flags and harasses of outrageous fortune,
Or to get the free living room of troubles,
And by lassoing take them?
“Cry havoc! And let slip the dogs of war!”
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-v6xekjsFlOA/TdpVucaHVUI/AAAAAAAAH6s/HXVuQfXd81M/s1600/dachshund-chain-mail.jpg
I don’t think I’ve ever had the chance to take a dockey’s lasso flower before…
Look what I got for Valentine’s Day! An Automated Punching Machine! Isn’t it shiny? Okay, LonePaladin, CindyB, and Mudsey, step up to the line and hold out your cards. Here we go! PUNCITY PUNCHITY PUNCHITY PUNCHITYPUNCHITYPUNCHITY Punch Punch. Oh, dear. Medic?
Good Morning, Rodeo and Furniture Emporium!