YSaC, Vol. 749: And it’s not currently on fire!

2010 August 5

MICHAEL JACKSON – $133


MICHAEL JACKSON “FULL” SIZE CARDBOARD STAND-UP “1984” ERA “PEPSI”

NEVER BEEN UNFOLDED/SET-UP. SEE PICS FOR DETAILS.

CASH $$$$ ONLY, NO CHECKS, NO MO’S, NO PAYMENTS, NO BULL S&^%

TRADE FOR A 12 GAUGE PUMP SHOTGUN, PLUS CASH IF NECESSARY…………..
<br XXX IN THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL REPLY, OR I WON’T REPLY. IF YOU CAN READ?? FOR THIS PRICE. I WILL THROW IN SEVERAL OTHER SMALL M.J. COLLECTIBLE ITEMS

You know, I should get this, just in case things don’t work out between Bea Arthur and the Geico Caveman.

So, wait a minute. It’s never been unfolded, you say? So that picture of the full-length cardboard cutout is some sort of Photoshop wizardry? Well done!

Also, half the spam emails I get have XXX in the subject line — I’m not sure how requesting that people put XXX in the subject line is going to help differentiate spam messages from people who are genuinely interested in having the spectre of Michael Jackson leering over them.

Oh, and who have a 12-gauge shotgun to offer. You know, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think I’d like to meet someone to exchange goods when I know they’ll be bringing a shotgun to the exchange.

Thanks, Lia!

296 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    I’m not sure someone who puts random words in quotes is someone I want to have a shotgun.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      The random punctuation and use of ALL CAPS makes me want to meet him somewhere with a shotgun, but I don’t think he would like the outcome very much.

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 5
        Meredith permalink

        HEY, ALL CAPS MEANS I AM AN HONEST PERSON. IT SHOWS THAT I AM TOTALLY REASONABLE AND NOT PRONE TO OVERREACTING OR FITS OF ANGER! AND DONT YOU DARE SAY OTHERWISE OR ELSE!!!!

        (That killed me…it just killed me)

        Adores: 17
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          Oh my Bob! Meredith is a zomb

          Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 5

      “Oh, and who have a 12-gauge shotgun to offer.”

      I believe you were looking for you*, in this snark. However, to answer your question, Mr. Excitable appears to be willing to EXCHANGE his “collectibles” and money for said shotgun!

      It’s a damn shame too…I just traded my colt .45 for a few of Michael Jackson’s personal trinkets, found under his bed on the ranch – 3 pairs of used x-men underwear. The weird thing is…I don’t think the king of pop ever wore them, as they appear to be a couple sizes too small for any man or women…

      MJ memorabilia is the new bartering tool for firearms; get with the times!

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 5
        CapnMac permalink

        Well, the only thing scarier than a $133 12ga pump shotgun (at all) would be the Sparky willing to trade one for MJ memorabilia.

        The fact that Sparky here is expecting to be offered a $50 or $75 s/g and the owner will then pony up the difference in cash is equally deserving.

        Consider that a $75 retail s/g has a wholesale/pawn value of $20-25, in case you need a mental image of decrepitude involved.

        I’ve seen some of these gems. I’ve even seen some where a half-decent person tried to sparky-proof the deal. Like only selling 20ga shells with that doubtful 12ga. (Sparky answer is to wrap masking or duck tape around the shells until they “jam fit” the 12ga chamber. Mostly)

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 6
        Moira permalink

        CL doesn’t allow its users to sell firearms. I’m surprised then that someone solicited one in a trade.

        Adores: 0
  2. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    I can’t read ?? but who can? The language has been lost since Galifrey imploded.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’m fluent in BULL S&^%. It’s like a second language to me.

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        It’s the language that got me through High School.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          And work. Don’t forget that it is the language that separates the “professionals” and from the rest of us schmucks.

          “…A real straight shooter with upper management potential…”

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 5

          LOL! “Office Space”!! BEST.movie.of.its.genre.OF.ALL.TIME.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          TM, it got me through college, too! Also gets me through work… I mainly take what I know about a topic and extrapolate from that, making it sound like I know exactly what I’m talking about. Usually, I’m right, so that works :-p

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      TacoMagic permalink

      qauhedr t5y3e 3w9o45r3ewstt6 0qa5r6 8i3wseko 8 hnnu3efvg35 ol3eqaahnj3eedr 5to0 r43eqed

      (Translated from Mug to English for our veiwers: “And the worst part is, I never learned to read”)

      Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 5
        kelli permalink

        It’s okay Taco. You can send for a pamphlet on illiteracy.

        Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Yes, as soon as I read that pamphlet I’ll be perfectly…

          Wait a minute….

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          You might want to order the “I before E” one too.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          veiwers: Small rodents used for scrubbing pots in the Arctic Tundra.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I wonder how much of Bridgete’s YSaCtionary is going to be words you misspelled.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          So far only “descover” is in there. I should probably add “T-shits” though.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5

          [unintentionally hilarious literacy corey] Years ago I worked for a courier service. I took telephone orders and turned them into computer dispatches. Three of us worked in one large room. One of the girls was a little goofy (okay, a lot goofy) and was often a great source of comedy – usually at her clueless expense. One day she came in royally pissed off at a “friend” of hers. In order to properly vent her anger at this person she decided to write a letter. She’d furiously scribble on the notepad, rip it off and ball it up, throw it in the trash and start all over again. This went on for hours while I and the boss covered for her on the phones. Finally, she got a rhythm going and was writing and flipping pages on the table faster than I thought possible. Suddenly, she stopped in mid-scribble, looked up and asked us “How do you spell illiterate?” I blinked, the boss blinked, and after what seemed like an eternity we both lost it. Ms. Clueless never did get it….LOL…good times…good times…[/end unintentionally hilarious literacy corey]

          Adores: 7
  3. 2010 August 5
    Windrose permalink

    Michael’s dad will do anything to get attention. 8/

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      If it was his dad, he’d be offering Michael’s clothes or bits of flaked off skin.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        Windrose permalink

        Thank you for that, kelli. No, really. Thanks.

        Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 5
        Meredith permalink

        At least it isn’t Gary Coleman’s family.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Not as much of him to go around.

          :waves good-bye to the line:

          Adores: 19
      • 2010 August 5
        EclecticBlue permalink

        If you’re really lucky, you’ll get his original-toned skin! I hear it’s going for a fortune on the black market…

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 5

          EB, phone call line 2..Al…something…

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Dangit, I thought Astro had him “taken care of”! Just goes to show you can’t trust those band kids… :-p

          Oh well, I deserve it. I’m so bad, and you know it, yeah. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, with band practice on, he does have a lot less time than before.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Yup, once you join, it has a death grip on your life. A good death grip, though.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          That’s what I’ve heard, Laurel… I was never in band–I don’t have the coordination to make music, let alone make music while moving–but Mr. EB was in marching band in high school and college, and even was in a DCI Corps at one point. He still drags me to DCI finals whenever they’re nearby… even when I was 7 months pregnant ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          EB: What corp and how long ago? I’m thinking their might be a 6 Degrees of Separation thing going on here involving one of my instructors…

          Everyone Else: Guess what! It’s only Day 4, and we have the whole intro on the field. All of it.

          Also, apparently, for the first 48 movements of the second movement (adapted from Call of the Mountain by Joseph Curiale) we are Jazz Running while holding our arms out like wings.

          Adores: 3
  4. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    NO MOโ€™S

    Poor Mo, he’ll never be able to finish his cardboard cut-out collection when people start specifying he’s not allowed.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 5
      Meredith permalink

      It’s cause Mo is always dragging along his friends, Eenie, Meeny, and Miney….and those guys are ASSHOLES!

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 August 5

        Hey, Miney and Eenie are stand-up guys!

        But you’re right, Meeny is kindof a jerk.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Just now busted is Sparky that he cannot get a Money Order cashed?
      Or how busted are the vendees he is around that they have passed him uncashable Money Orders?

      Adores: 0
  5. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    CASH $$$$ ONLY, NO CHECKS, NO MOโ€™S, NO PAYMENTS, NO BULL S&^%

    I wasn’t thinking of paying by check, but I have an extra Mo Rocca hanging in my closet and plenty of bull s&^%. I thought they would make an excellent trade, but I guess Sparky has no sense of humor and has plenty of his own bull s&^%.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 August 5
      Meredith permalink

      Mo Rocca isn’t worth as much since they stopped making new “I love the….” episodes.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        kelli permalink

        He was really worth the most during his Daily Show glory years. I knew I should have traded him in then, but he has such sentimental value for me.

        Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      Damn, and here I was hoping to trade this truckload of BS for something cool, preferably a MJ cutout! Back to the drawing board …

      Adores: 3
  6. 2010 August 5
    mudslicker permalink

    Pepsi Era MJ?

    Does that mean that the hair will spontaneously combust after it’s been “unfolded” for 10 minutes? That would certainly “up” the value for me!

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I was kinda hoping it would fold into a box of wine Jebus Juice, like a really lame Transformer.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 5
        Lola permalink

        Have you seen those containers of wine that actually do look like juice boxes? I have a friend who refers to them as “Mommy juice boxes.” *hums “Mother’s Little Helper”*

        Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 5

          I may have to look for those.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Wal-Mart carries them in their wine aisle.

          I know, I was surprised too.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          Moira permalink

          Lola, while I think those boxes are brilliant and convenient, I also find it very disturbing. I think I will stick with the very cute picnic-sized bottles of wine that I can then clean and refill with my fermented concoctions (but only the glass ones – I recycle the plastic ones).

          I just need to find corks that will fit them.*

          *Translation: I need to get off my ass and do a modicum of research.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          I like the mini bottles too.

          Thanks, SJ. Unfortunately I’ll have to look somewhere else. Mass has a lot of weird liquor laws, there’s some kind of limit on how many grocery stores per city or county or something that can sell beer and wine, so most of the time you can only get beer and wine from a liquor store. The grocery store closest to my house happens to be able to sell beer and wine…but I haven’t seen anything that looks like “mommy juice boxes” there.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      Maybe it comes with a hairspray and flash effects kit! The fire extinguisher would, of course, be sold separately.

      Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 5

      See title!

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        You appear to be missing the word “yet”.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          The “not currently” implies almost the same meaning as “yet” would.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Title? We’re supposed to READ those before 9am? Oh, no no no no I don’t think so.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          These things have titles?

          :scrolls to top of screen:

          Hot damn, you’re right.

          Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 5
        Meredith permalink

        HEY, SHE GOES TO A LOT OF TROUBLE TO COME UP WITH WITTY TITLES AND SHARP COMMENTARY! THE LEAST YOU JERKS COULD DO IS READ IT AND GIVE A LITTLE RESPECT TO ALL THE HARD WORK SHE DOES TO BRING US A BIT OF JOY DURING THE DAY! ITS NOT LIKE THIS IS A CAREER FOR HER! SHE DOES THIS AS A HOBBY AND SOMETIMES ITS NOT THE EASIEST THING FOR HER TO GET AROUND TO WITH HER CAREER BUT SHE MAKES THE TIME TO GIVE US NEW THINGS TO MAKE FUN OF SO THE AT LEAST TRY AND READ OVER THE POST BEFORE YOU TRY TO BE ALL FUNNY IN THE COMMENT SECTION!!!

        (Died a little more here)

        (just jokes, peeps, just jokes)

        Adores: 17
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          You dropped these – [matt] [/matt]

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          I think I missed the matt day.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          The [matt] tags are for when you wish to express righteous indignation.
          Or some semblance of it.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          The matt tags are for “righteous indignation” basically. I was here when he showed up, but I don’t feel like searching the archives. Maybe Taco can whip out a link for you.

          *EDIT sj beat me to it, I type too slowly.
          *EDIT EDIT I forgot to add the word edit to my first edit.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Lola permalink

          Matt tags are even better when the indignation is misplaced.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          Misplaced indignation = dignation?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5

          Dignation is what we had in the 60’s

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          Isn’t Dignation that real life drama show on Discovery Channel that follows the team of backhoe operators as they make trenches?

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Bianchi, I’m pretty sure that misplaced indignation is actually outdignation ๐Ÿ™‚

          Or maybe lostdignation…

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          If you re going to be that brilliant, you should get a reward, like flying off to NYC!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 6

          my substantial is indignation.

          Adores: 0
  7. 2010 August 5

    I was going to respond to this post, but I can’t read. Oh, wait . . .

    BTW, if he’ll only accept cash, does anyone have a 12 gauge shotgun made out of dollar bills hanging around?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      does anyone have a 12 gauge shotgun made out of dollar bills hanging around?

      Doesn’t everyone? No? I guess it’s just me then.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’ve got one made of Canadian dollars, but it’s not worth as much.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5

        Must be heavy then. Our Loonies weigh just a bit more than your dollar bills. Unless your shotgun is made of Canadian bills. If so, how colourful. *Why do I have an overwhelming urge to play Monopoly right now?*

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        Lou Stool permalink

        It must weigh a lot then. Our Loonies weigh quite a bit more than your dollar bills. Unless your shotgun is made out of Canadian bills. If so, how colourful. *Why do I have an overwhelming urge to play Monopoly now?*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          Is this how you rob the bank in that game?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          We do actually have dollar coins in the US, but they are not terribly popular. The only people who ask for them at work are usually collectors.

          Our paper money is not as pretty as yours, it’s all the same boring color and covered with images of dead people.

          EDIT: This feels coreyish. I should probably have stuck corey tags in there somewhere.

          Meh.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          Lou Stool permalink

          [corey/] Our money is pretty, sure, but seriously, who the hell is on them? There is some dead queen on one of the bills, a few other dead guys nobody I know can name, and then there is the bill with kids playing hockey. And yeah, I hated the dollar coins when I lived in the States (I moved to Canada 7 years ago) [corey]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          I know that you have a duck on some of your coins. All I can say to that is: YAY DUCK!

          *Waddles off*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Lou – Do you still have a distaste for dollar coins now that you live in America’s Hat?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Dollar coins? That’s just Loonie!

          *I’ll put myself in the corner now.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5

          Once, at the dollar store, I tried to pay in dollar coins (Sacajawea dollars) and they tried to argue with me about how they weren’t real US currency. Eventually, they relented when I explained “they’re the things you get in change from the stamp machine at the post office.” “OH! the coins from the post office, yes, I’ve heard of those.”

          Then again, I WAS trying to buy a jar printed with “Happy morning time with Pear in the morning” so maybe the dollar store is just a little slow on the uptake.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          Jen permalink

          Our money has pictures of penguins and other birds on one side, and “World Famous in NZ” people on the other. Aussie money’s my favourite, soooo pretty and colourful.

          But the best thing about both currencies is they’re plastic, so you can launder your money to your heart’s content without it getting all balled up and unusable. What?

          Adores: 5
      • 2010 August 5
        Litarider permalink

        Oh yeah, those loonies are awesome.

        Lou, did you flee the Bush administration?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          I believe that Lou may be from the Canadia.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          [numismatic corey]One of the reasons that dollar coins have had tough sledding is from a failure to interact with the vending machine people.

          The original “recreated” Susan B Anthony dollar coin had a failing of being the same size as a quarter and the eleven sides being too subtle for any machine to read. This meant that any machine that took the coins also was likely to dispense them as change, as a quarter. When DFW airport first opened, they designed everything that took change to only take multiples of quarters. Which meant there were change machines every where. These machines were famous for two things. One was that they’d convert an SBA into a quarter (stick a quarter in, it gave a quarter back); and they would randomly give SBA’s back as change for a dollar. (Was getting change for the AirTrans, put in a dollar bill and got $3.25 back–score! And the quarter got me to a bar where I got quarters for the SBAs.)

          The Sacagawea dollars have been better, if seemingly mostly used at Post Offices and Wal*Marts. They still make cool christmas stocking treats. They are a distinct size and a unique gold color, which helps.

          We will see how the new Presidential Dollars do; they have a much better look, and now that the edge-etching fiasco seems to have gone away, they might start circulating again. But for the very large problem of USPS replacing all of the coin & cash stamp/postage machines with debit/credit card machines.

          If the beverage machines convert, then the dollar coins may take off. If so, then the change tills in registers will start changing, too. But, the ‘buzz’ in vending machines is to use plastic or fast-pass technology. That leaves only coin0op laundries as a consumer of bulk coinage.
          [corey]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5

          [corey] Well, Capn, the vending machine where I was taking my bar prep class accepted $5s, and one time I had to use one because I was in desperate need of a snack and that was all I had. It gave back dollar coins. I didn’t end up trying to use said dollar coins in the same machine…I forget what I ended up doing with them. Anyway, so there’s at least one vending machine that uses the coins.

          Also, don’t forget the automated ticket things at public transit stations. The T stations in Boston give back dollar coins, as do the MAX stations in Portland. Oh, and the Metro stations in DC, which, if I’m remembering right from my visit, only take cash (Boston and Portland stations also take cards). [/corey]

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Ah, but you are off in the ludicrously-expensive East, where everything cost more.

          Which would mean that a $50 change box would almost have to accept dollar coins just to not need service every day.

          This has almost doomed the cigarette vending machine business in Texas, that, and the tobacco vendor’s license fee and the per-pack taxes. Which means needing to get either $7 or $8 per pack, so you need a $100 change box, or to make daily service runs.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          Cap – I know of more than a few laundromats that have converted to card systems.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Lou Stool permalink

          As a matter of fact, I did, Litarider. Had nothing to do with neither Bush nor his administration, but I did move to the “Maple Leaf State” during his first term. Mrs Stool happens to be Canadian, so I moved a tiny bit north, and a crapload west so we could get married and junk.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          [Boston corey] That was the only vending machine like that I’ve ever seen, east coast or not. Also, the only things that are any more expensive in Boston than back in Portland are the cost of housing, and the astronomical rates in downtown Boston parking lots/garages. Even the prices at bars/restaurants are the same for the same types of places. It’s probably all the students that keep everything but rent and parking so low. The city has the highest concentration of higher education institutions in the US, you know. [/corey]

          Adores: 0
  8. 2010 August 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    So I would meet Sparky is a possibly secluded location carrying with me a working and potentially loaded shotgun, while he will be packin’ a folded cardboard pop star and possibly some cash.

    I don’t see this ending badly. For me.

    Adores: 10
    • 2010 August 5
      Meredith permalink

      Sounds like a Coen brothers movie.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 5
        MandaB permalink

        No Country for EeeHeee! perhaps?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Lola permalink

          Now I’m picturing Javier Bardem* in a Michael Jackson wig. Thank you, MandaB, for possibly breaking my brain …

          *Stalkity stalk stalk

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Oops! Sorry about that, Lola!

          Anyone have any super brain glue? We have to put Lola’s back together. Also maybe a diagram so we can get things sort of back in the right place. I don’t want to have a piece left over after we’re done. That will attract more zomb

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 5

          “Winnipeg”. “Fargo” but more Nort, you betcha.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          Lola permalink

          “Winnipeg” has me now imagining the Coen Brothers meet the Trailer Park Boys.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5

          “Winnigpeg” always reminds me of that one song from the Very Potter Musical. I freakin’ love that thing.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5

          *Winnipeg. I’d have changed it but I get kicked off every time I comment by some ‘ERROR 400’ page that won’t let me back on for ten minutes. Anybody else having trouble?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Windrose permalink

          Laurel, I do have that problem when I use Internet Explorer. SO I flip a switch to Firefox, and I have no more problemo.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Jen permalink

          So, you have 99 problems but a glitch ain’t one?

          (Disclaimer: I have never heard this song (it is a rap song, yes?) but I know the meme and have been looking for a way to use it for aaaages. Thank you for your patience, there are bikkies and juice in the foyer.)

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Took three tries to get brain to make “bikkies” = “biscuits”

          Which took a couple more sips of malt whisky to become baked sweets.
          But, they’ve featured biscuits finished with drippings on the last two TrueBlood episodes, and I’ve a hankering.

          For Jen, this is a flaky roll rather like a croissant. the dough is made rather like a strudel dough, but with shortening rather than sweet butter. Before the nutrinazis taught everyone that fat = arsenic, they would be finished after baking with a glaze of bacon drippings, or with a mix of melted butter and honey.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 6
          Jen permalink

          Whoops, forgot I speak a different language. ๐Ÿ™‚
          But yes, I know your biscuits. They make my tummy sad. I remember being very cross as a wee thing when offered ‘biscuits’ with my meal at Disneyland and getting bread rolls instead. I told off the waiter.
          Also, shortening + bacon = my worst nightmare. Yech.

          Adores: 0
  9. 2010 August 5

    No MO’s? No BULL S&^%? Sigh…let’s see what I have here…

    :rummages through stacks of valuable craptastic items:

    Ahh…here…how about I bring these OBO’s and a pile of HORSE S&^%? Oh, and this “shotgun”, too of course…what? No, it’s really a shotgun, trust me..waddayamean “Red Ryder” isn’t the name of a real gun manufacturer?

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      You’ll shoot your eye out.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 August 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        Or somebody else’s eye.

        Or whatever.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5

          Ever been shot in the whatever? Hurts like hell.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          That’s how I got this scar.

          Worse. Date. Ever.

          Adores: 16
  10. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    br XXX IN THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL REPLY, OR I WONโ€™T REPLY.

    So if you put br XXX in the subject line he’ll reply or he won’t reply.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 August 5
      Meredith permalink

      Don’t you love the suspense?

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 August 5
        kelli permalink

        It’s like an Agatha Christie book, if Agatha Christie had been a rooster with a typewriter.

        Adores: 16
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          Bwahahahahaha.

          Ms. Marple looked up from her knitting and calmly replied, “WELL YOU KNOW I HAVE THAT WHOLE MYSTERY SOLVED, YO. BRING ME A SHOTGUN OR SOME CASH, AND NO BULL S&^%. SAY XXX WHEN YOU WRITE TO ME AND ILL REPLY, OR I WON’T REPLY”

          (Don’t ask

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          Friends, we gather today to pay tribute to our dearly departed friend Meredith, a barely budded blossom pruned far too soon by the tragic use of ALL CAPS. [sniffles] Let us bow our heads in silent prayer while Cap’n Mac starts the backhoe…

          Adores: 11
        • 2010 August 5
          TacoMagic permalink

          YOU ARE ALL PROBABLY WONDERING WHY I INVITED YOU ALL HERE. WELL, I HAVE BEEN INVESTIGATING THIS MURDER SINCE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AND I NOW KNOW WHO THE KILLER IS!

          Umm, that’s nice Detective Blowhard, but why are you screaming at us?

          I’M NOT SCREAMING, I’M TALKING WITH ASSERTIVE CONFIDENCE!

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Agh, Meredith infected Taco!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          That’s what she said.

          What?

          Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 5
      Litarider permalink

      I was thinking I’d post a response or I wouldn’t post a response.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        You forgot to include <br XXX in your hypothetical response, now everyone will think it's spam.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          Litarider permalink

          And now I’ve missed the edit window. Maybe I’ll just leav out an e.

          Adores: 1
  11. 2010 August 5
    MandaB permalink

    Finally, the missing piece! Now I can complete my cardboard cut out, stop action remake of “Thriller”, co-starring Bea Arthur as the “love interest”. I will pay any price for this piece of corrugated gold! I just can’t trade for my shotgun. I need that to ward off the dancing zomb

    Adores: 16
    • 2010 August 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      Who’s Bad?

      Yes… you are!

      Adores: 4
    • 2010 August 5
      Kae permalink

      You know, I’d totally pay Canadian money to see that. (I would. I have a little jam jar full of Canadian coins that cashiers accidentally give me.)

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 5
        MandaB permalink

        So sorry. I’ll only be accepting Canadian funds when I use the Geico caveman cut out to remake the Celine Dion’s video for “My Heart Will Go On”. Also included in the video: footage from Titanic 2! So much awesome in one video, you’d be loony not to watch!

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Wait, I’d be loonie. or
          I’d be A Loonie?

          Whacky, non-conforming, anti-Sparky comes pretty naturally to me;
          But does not pay so well, so becoming a unit of currency could be of interest to me.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Kae permalink

          Well, gosh! I’ll take two tickets! I’ll give you…let’s see…three Queen Lizzes, a Toonie, and three stale Timbits.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5

        For some reason, I like to collect foreign money. It’s mostly change, collected from friends and relatives who know about my collection and give me whatever they have leftover when they return from traveling. As I’ve only been to Canada and BARELY in Mexico (a brief jaunt across the border to Tijuana), my only contributions from my own travels are the Canadian coins. I’ll throw in a Euro or two when I return from Paris though (departing two weeks from Saturday! Squeeee!).

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          I, too have a wee pile of left-over foreign currency. This can confuse visitors since it is in the lucite box with odd US currency I have (Eisenhower dollar, $2 bill, SBA etc.)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Jen permalink

          I used to have heaps of small-denomination lira, francs, deutchmarks and assorted other currencies, consciously hoarded between trips and then because they were all abolished with the Euro, but they went missing sometime during one of my moves. ๐Ÿ™ Only about NZ$50 value (about US$2.27 at current exchange rate, I think), but they were so pretty!!
          @ Bridgete – Ooh yay Paris is wicked fun!! And if anyone asks “vous etes Englaise?”, deny it immediately or you’ll get terrible service.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Oh Bridgete I’m so jealous! Paris is amazing! Honestly, the people are a lot nicer than we ‘Murricans are lead to believe. Weird fact: The sun doesn’t set until almost 11pm in the summer. At least it didn’t in late June. If you want some ideas of cool places to check out, click my name in the forums and go to the very beginning of my blog (starts in July 09), I posted a lot of pictures and details from my trip.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Euh, mais, je n’ai rien dรฉmentir, parce que c’est vrai. Je ne suis pas anglaise, je suis americaine. ๐Ÿ˜‰

          [Back to English] According to most people who’ve been there, they’ve said that as long as you try to speak French, they appreciate it and are very helpful, even if they can tell you’re American (or anything else not French). Apparently they usually let you fumble through the French unless you’re clearly struggling, and then they offer to switch to English. I’m hoping to avoid the switch to English…I’ll probably only have to switch if I need to provide an extensive explanation of something or if I have a complicated question (at first I wrote “quest” and then put a period. I suppose if I have a complicated quest I’d need to speak in English too).

          Re: money collection discussion, I have a 1000 lire note. It’s my favorite in my collection simply because it’s no longer in use. My mom gave it to me when she and my dad returned from a trip to Israel about 10 years ago; they had a really long layover in Italy, which prompted a need for coffee. She has a fun story about trying to wait in line at the coffee stand she found before discovering that Italians don’t believe in lines.

          Anyway, Jen, it makes me sad that your money collection got lost during one of your moves, you had stuff I wish I had managed to acquire before the Euro came about. I hate how stuff just disappears when you move, especially if you’ve had to do it a lot in a short time frame. That happened to my photo negatives from my high school and college photography classes. There were some really great shots in those negatives, too. ๐Ÿ™

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Ooh, thanks Christina! I’ll look into it. I have roughly elebenty and one recommendations for things to do, but not everything is something I would actually want to do. Different personalities and such. So I’m definitely open to more suggestions.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      Band name of the day: “Corrugated Gold.”

      Adores: 3
  12. 2010 August 5
    ToBScholarly permalink

    One of the things I fail to understand, and oh dear God there are many, is how he arrived at the price of $133.

    Is that the price of a shotgun plus cash?

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      mudslicker permalink

      I think it’s the car number of his favorite NASCAR driver.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Or…his bail just happens to be $1,330.00

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      It’s how much money Vincent Price didn’t get paid for his work on Thriller.

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      :consults Emily Post’s Guide to CraigsList Etiquette:

      “In the event the item offered for purchase does not have splinters, it is permissible to empty the nearest Bug Zapper and count the number of deceased insects contained within. Partial exoskeletons should not be considered as part of this total.”

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 August 5
        Meredith permalink

        Sometimes I sit and wonder where we get this stuff from….it’s a disturbing look into the psyche of the “average” human. :::shudder:::

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          sarajean80 permalink

          I’ve never claimed to be “average”.

          Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 5

      His catulator gave it to him…

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 August 5
      EclecticBlue permalink

      [corey] I did a couple google searches (the link is in moderation lower on the page) and found a couple ebay auctions in different parts of the country around the $125 range, and a couple on Amazon between $350 and $900 (!!!!). So at least the original quoted price isn’t a case of misguided expectations… [/corey] The rest of the ad is fail, though :-p

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        Moira permalink

        That scares me even more, I think.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 August 5
      CapnMac permalink

      Is that the price of a shotgun plus cash?

      Tobe,

      Not of a legitimate shotgun. Remington 870 runs $350-550; older Savage-Stevens might go as cheap as $250-275, but it would be obvious why (surface rust, broken stock repaired with duck tape, etc.) MilSpec Mossberg is about $400
      Now, a nice skeet-ready Browning Citori over/under goes for about $1600.

      This does not mean Sparky has not seen some beater in the pawn shop for $133, not knowing the pawnshop only gave $45 for it.

      Adores: 0
  13. 2010 August 5
    Windrose permalink

    I’m certainly glad he emphasized that the cutout is FULL size, cause it’s rather on the short side.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      sarajean80 permalink

      Short of digging up the real one, I don’t know how you could prove otherwise.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Are you sure we’d have to dig up the real one? I always thought that, after Thriller, he’d turn into a zomb-

        Adores: 3
  14. 2010 August 5
    kelli permalink

    I think I may have found a potential buyer for Sparky’s cutout here

    Adores: 4

  15. 2010 August 5
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    You know, Sparky had me until no bull$#*! caveat. I was really hoping to bring my shotgun and shoot the $#*! with him and MJ.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      Even better: if you could have done so in your lederhosen.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        TacoMagic permalink

        Guten Tag hop hop
        Guten Tag clop clop…

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Meine Fuss hab drei ecken
          Ich bin ein Velocioraptor
          Rawr, nom, nom

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Aww, I saw that and
          first thought it was a haiku…
          Was disappointed ๐Ÿ™

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          i’m not sure you can haiku in german,
          not sensibly, at least.

          There’s a kid’s song about Mein hat hab drie ecken–my hat has three corners–that is near-universally taught in beginning German classes. Said tune has been greatly abused as a result.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 6
          Moira permalink

          My german consists of a few food-related phrases, some numbers and the “Are You Sleeping” song. I know that one in french and hungarian, as well.

          Wait, Cap, there’s *sensible* german?

          Adores: 0
  16. 2010 August 5

    I feel a Micheal Jackson snarktacular coming on..
    Woo, oh, oh, oh, yeeehehee
    *Moonwalks around my cube, hangs a small child out the window*

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 5


      2D MJ, the two of us need look no more
      We both found what we were looking for
      With a cardboard friend to call my own
      I’ll never be alone
      And you, my laminated friend, will see
      You’ve got a creepy friend in me
      (you’ve got a creepy friend in me)

      2D MJ, you’re never moving here or there
      You wonโ€™t even feel your burning hair
      If I ever look behind you
      And I don’t like what I find
      There’s nothing there to show
      Iโ€™ve got a place to draw
      (Iโ€™ve got a place to draw)

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        MandaB permalink

        You inspire me, Hammy.
        You are not alone
        The cut out’s watching you
        It may give you a start
        Nearly stop your heart

        But you are not alone
        He’s always there with you
        Watched very night and day
        By cardboard MJ

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Darn! Just tripped over this E I dropped. Make that every night and day. Sheesh!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          mudslicker permalink

          Hammy is your MEWWWWWse.

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          A feel good piece for the 11 o’clock news.

          Anchorwoman: Next up, the story of a kitty that writes song parodies, inspired by pork in a can.

          Kitty: Mrrrrrow. Purrrrrr.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Manda, that would totally make up for all the death, destruction, and poverty on the rest of the news. ::cries::

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Eh, I don’t think I want stay up that late. They always do the best stories at the end of the broadcast, and then you have to sit through all the boring talking heads. Do you think they’ll post the video on their website?

          Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 5
      EclecticBlue permalink

      Holy COW, HamCan, that kitten-shark is startling/terrifying…

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        Lola permalink

        Yeah, totally sleeping with one eye open tonight, over here …

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 5

        Would you like me to be your MEEEEEEEEEEEWse too?
        *Nom nom nom*

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Bad Sharkitten! We don’t nom on the Lolas!

          Lola, punish him! Wait a second…no. Don’t punish him. That’ll teach him a lesson!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5

          But Lola’s are so tasty!

          *hides behind the you don’t suck box and waits for Astro to show up*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Lola permalink

          *hides in different place and drains flask, again*

          Adores: 0
  17. 2010 August 5
    Addicted Reader permalink

    AAACK, OVERUSE OF QUOTATION MARKS!!!!!

    *catches brain as it tries to escape out my ear, shoves it back despite its struggles*

    Also:

    CASH $$$$ ONLY, NO CHECKS, NO MOโ€™S, NO PAYMENTS, NO BULL S&^%

    So it’s free?

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 5
      Meredith permalink

      If you’re the one holding the shotgun it is.

      Adores: 7
      • 2010 August 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        You could probably get them do the Moonwalk as well.

        I would get them to skip the crotch-grabbing though; that’s just disturbing.

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5

        “Good, Bad, I’m the one with the gun.”

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      “I have a cutout for sale, take it for free …”

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      CapnMac permalink

      [vending corey] Sparky has had customers want to buy the cut-outs that “fell off the truck” in installments?
      “Hey Spark’ I kin giv’ya two, tree bux a week; tha’ ok?”

      I might want a shotgun, too.

      Hey, Sparky, it’s Sales: You’re doing it wrong.
      (or should that read “your/yur” in Sparkese?)
      [corey]

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        kelli permalink

        It’s your in the Midwestern dialect, yur in the Altantic/Eastern dialect, yawl in the Southern dialect, and yoodehoo in the Canadian dialect.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          I forgot to add the Chicago and New York variants – yewsa.*

          *I’ve actually heard the phrase, “yewsa doing thata wrung” from both Chicago and New York Sparkies.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          Oh shudder! Thankfully not in the part of NY I lived in… I say more of a “yer,” I think. But sometimes “your…”

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        Addicted Reader permalink

        Yeah, “payments” implies “installments,” but it’s not the same word. Therefore, fail.

        Adores: 0
  18. 2010 August 5

    Homework time! Finish this joke:
    Bea Arthur, Michael Jackson and a Geico Caveman walk into a bar…

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 5

      Micheal Jackson moonwalks around Bea Arthur and says, โ€œWoah, only a caveman could do itโ€

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Bea Arthur looks at Michael Jackson and says, “Whoa, weren’t you a lot darker the last time I saw you?”

        Adores: 5
    • 2010 August 5
      Lurker permalink

      Geico caveman looks at Michael Jackson and says, “Hey, even a caveman can control fire!”

      Adores: 8
      • 2010 August 5
        mudslicker permalink

        Bea Arthur looks at the Geico Caveman, studies all the hair on his body and says, “Is that a fuzzy navel you’re drinking there or are you just happy to see me?”

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      SpamCan permalink

      The bartender says, “What is this, some kind of joke?”

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 August 5
        mudslicker permalink

        TAAAA DAAAAAA!!!

        Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Agh, I was going to go for something along those lines, but I couldn’t phrase it quite right… Props to tinned “meat”!

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5

      All three say, “Hi Bridgete!”

      Adores: 6
      • 2010 August 5

        I was confused for a second, despite the fact that for three years, “Bar Review” meant a bunch of law students going to a local bar, and only for two months did the same phrase mean an actual prep class.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      You think MJ and the Geico caveman would have gone around it.

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      Lou Stool permalink

      I wonder why none of them ducked! *boink* *boink* *boink*

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 August 5

      …and the Caveman blows up George Lopez when Michael and Bea order drinks for themselves and a little green lizard for the caveman.

      Hurray for adding in a stab at that terrible Cavemen show!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5
        LimeLolly permalink

        HEY!! *

        Don’t come crying to me when you want to start driving!

        *I really didn’t like the cavemen, either.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          That’s okay. We’re State Farm people.

          Adores: 0
  19. 2010 August 5
    sarajean80 permalink

    Are you gonna to break the site again?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5

      Hehe, I clicked the reply button 4 times and finally got it to nest correctly.
      Hopefully Drmk will delete the misbehaving comment.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        sarajean80 permalink

        It just vanished, like a ghost, and left my comment all alone.

        Weird. YSaC is haunted.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Moira permalink

          SJ, Ham’s comment not only buggered off, leaving your comment alone, but broke it so that any replies will fall to the bottom of the page.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Uh oh, I’m gunna get in twuble ๐Ÿ™

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          mudslicker permalink

          MJ is phuking with us.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          Not with me… I was never his type.

          Edit:This is so much fun. Playing guess where the comment nests… ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          abwh permalink

          One… more… try…

          EDIT: Fell in proper place although not nesting.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Can I guess, LL? Was your response supposed to be below the “MJ is phuking with us” comment?

          Whee! Random not nesting! Fun for everyone!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          That was my guess too.

          (Mostly I’m just commenting to see where this lands.)

          Edit: Yup, still no nesting. This was supposed to be a reply to Manda guessing to whom LL was responding.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          Can I guess, LL?

          I suppose ya’ll are wanting a prize now.
          Okay take your pick:

          1) drenched with water from the Nerf supersoaker

          2) bombed with water balloons

          3) firestarter kit with flammable hairspray

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          But I wanted to drink from the fire hose!!! Man, I never get the good prizes!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          Manda,

          Your prize is a sock puppet that looks like Grampdaddy! Now you can say all those things you always wanted to tell him, or put him in the closet.

          What? That’s no prize at all… just duplicating real life…? Them’s the breaks, kiddo.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Poor Grampdaddy – he’s missing all the fun this week! As long as the sock puppet doesn’t look like HamCan’s new avatar, I’m cool with it.

          Sharkitten is scaring the crap out of me.

          Seriously.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          I’m very scared by the kitty shark too. But Manda’s new avatar totally makes up for it.

          Of course, both of them changing their avatars makes that statement above (something about a cat an meat) not make any sense. But that’s not news around here.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          Thanks! That would be my oldest child, shortly after she decorated her younger brother with a Sharpie. She was rather pleased with herself. There an entire album of pics on my FB page entitled “If it’s too quiet…” Bad things happen when the kids are quiet for any period of time.

          EDIT: I see we’re done nesting again.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5

          Now you all know why I was a “problem child”
          (And why I make a really good software tester)*

          *Not my actual job

          Edit:At least the edit button is fixed!

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          Lola permalink

          Uh, can I help?
          *passes flask*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5

          Kitty Shark Likes Cutty Sark

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Had to check the bar cabinet–no Cutty. If you insist on blended, there’s some JB, but that would be a bit silly as I browsed single malts.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Kitty Shark Likes Cutty Sark
          -HamCan

          HamCan: But does House Shark like Cuddy Shark?

          Also, what’s a sark?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5

          Cutty Sark=Whiskey, Astro

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Jen permalink

          Cutty Sark also = boat*. My Dad will be so proud when I tell him I remembered that – he dragged me to see it last time we were in London. I was unimpressed.

          *Wiki tells me it’s actually a “clipper ship”. Mmm. *nods sagely*

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Och, aye, ’twas a fine Scot’s-built ship until the sarkies let her catch fire last year.

          Handy way to remember ship v. boat: A ship is a vessel large enough to carry a boat.

          Dang it, jumped to under hamcan after showing under Jen.

          So, one stone, two avians. Ham, Scot’s “water of life” is spelt “whisky”; distilled malt beverages made elsewhere are “whiskey.” This allows you to save an “e” for Bridgete.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          [Sark corey]: Erse (Scot’s English) for “shift” as in a chemise or similar lingerie.

          “Cutty Sark” being part of the Tam o’Shanter poem by Robert Burns, referring to a witch, Nannie, who is dancing about in her short slip. Tam calls out “Weel Dane Cutty-sark,” whereupon he is chased on his near-magical highland pony, who runs at full gallop until reaching the Dawn just as Nannie grabs for him, leaving her with only the pony’s tail for a prize.

          The sense of speed is why the ship was so named. Also why the figurehead was given a hank of line riven out to look like a horse’s tail.

          “Sark” is also a diminutive of “sarky” a derogatory reduction of “sassenach” or Saxon. The term is used to refer to all non celtic English despite the fact that it was the norman-british that most soured Anglo-Scots relationships. Calling one’s oppressors “night shirts” may have spawned the British saying “girl’s blouse” too.

          Cutty Sark, is a famous blended Scot’s whisky which was named for the ship, not the witch Nannie.

          Now, my single-malt Abelour just will not do, having gone empty somehow, so I think I shall pour a dram of 18 y/o Macallan.
          [/corey]

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          “Whiskey” was much easier to type, especially after half a bottle.
          ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          Windrose permalink

          A type of ship. With sails and stuff.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          HamCan broke the site while I was gone?

          Again?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          Kae permalink

          I told you it wasn’t a cardboard cutout!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          I blame MJ’s ghost.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 August 5

        Deleted.

        I’m trying to find a new theme where the nesting of comments is more obvious.

        *Edited to add: Yup, empirical evidence that deleting posts ottermangles comment nesting. This was supposed to nest under HamCan’s post two above.

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          Moira permalink

          And my comment about Ham’s comment buggering off was in reply to SJ’s comment about it vanishing like a ghost. So comments appear to still be falling in the right places, they just aren’t indenting any more.

          This comment should be in reply to drmk’s.
          Let’s see where it ends up. ๐Ÿ™‚

          Edit: Oooh, it fell all the way down.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          So, this comment is in reply to Moira’s comment about the comments that aren’t nesting properly…perhaps the comments are migrating? I know if they’re Texas comments they’re heading north right about now…hopefully before they melt or spontaneously combust.

          Wonder where this comment will end up….

          Edit: It fall down…alllll the way….it’s just like my iPhone now.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          Moira permalink

          iPhone fall down?
          Sad panda iPhone. ๐Ÿ™

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          iPhone fall down?
          Sad panda iPhone. ๐Ÿ™

          Moira, this makes me giggle every time I read it. There’s something awesome about the tone and the image it evokes.

          Edit: This whole no-nesting thing is weird. Like the olden days of YSaC.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          At least the messed-up-erry happened later in the posts, so we have SOME nested comments ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Irregular Fractal permalink

          Sad Panda iPhone is the name of my Stone Temple Pilots cover band.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          And now we have adult cam spam. Hammy!!! Tell your friends to go home!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 August 5
          SpamCan permalink

          Did someone call?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          No, it’s your cousin, SpamCam.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5

          Thanks to whoever has admin powers and flagged that as spam … and sorry, guys. I do my best to keep spam off the site, but sometimes it sneaks through.

          Heaven knows where this comment is going to end up now. There’s been deleted comments, spam comments, and comments held for moderation today, so I’m not expecting this to end up anywhere near the right place.

          Edited to add: Nope, nowhere near. I wonder if this is a WordPress issue, or an issue with the theme? If I had to guess, I’d guess the theme … and I’ve been wanting to change the theme but haven’t had the time to engage in the fuck-with-ery necessary to do so. (That would be one word in German; I’m sure of it.)

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Precious testing suggests WP, but I do not have nearly enough jousting with jestro time to exclude an undocumented program feature being in the Vigilance Theme.

          Ok, this was right under drmk’s post when it opened, then decided fall all the way down. [spock voice]Fascinating[/voice]

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 August 5

          I’m looking for help in WP support forums. Sorry about this, folks — just consider it a bit of entropy to brighten your day.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Our Most Venerable Llama-Nun*: I bet it’s IF. I’m sure that he’s really Morgan Freeman in disguise. He can edit his comments whenever, after all.

          *Bees be upon her.

          Adores: 0
  20. 2010 August 5
    Kae permalink

    My favoritist part is the first photo, where the cutout is in front of floaty white curtains…just like the ghost/cutoutofTedDanson from ‘Three Men and a Baby’ here…
    http://www.snopes.com/movies/films/3menbaby.asp

    So I’m saying this is actually MJ’s ghost! MJ lives! Long lives MJ!

    Adores: 0
  21. 2010 August 5
    Moira permalink

    How would one stack a cardboard sandwich of Bea, MJ and the Geico Cavemen?

    And Sparky is willing to trade this thing for a shotgun and cash “if necessary.” I just don’t understand fandom. It’s cardboard for bullS&^% sake. *walks off shaking head*

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      mudslicker permalink

      I think Sparky should throw in his 40+ collection of Boy Band posters with the mix.

      Adores: 2
  22. 2010 August 5
    Moira permalink

    The random anger of CL posters against the people they are trying to sell to (or buy from or trade with or whatever) astounds me. Between the “NO BULLS&^%” admonition and the “IF YOU CAN READ??” insult, I’m not certain I’d want to do business with this guy even if I *did* want an overpriced cardboard replica of a creepy confused dead guy in my house.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      The random anger on the part of men in some entries in the personals sections is pretty scary, too. While I can understand politely referring to frustration relating to dating experiences, who thinks ranting is attractive?*

      *Those, of course, earn my mental application of drmk’s “still single?” tag.

      Adores: 0
  23. 2010 August 5
    Moira permalink

    The last few titles read a little like a CL post.

    No Parents? No Problem!
    It’s encrapular!
    And it’s not currently on fire!

    I wonder what it is?

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 August 5
      EclecticBlue permalink

      A later-era MJ posting for, erm, friends? *squick*

      Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      MandaB permalink

      My guess – Happy Fun Baby Slingshot!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 August 5
        EclecticBlue permalink

        That’s true, not being on fire is definitely a plus in the safety factor of the Happy Baby Fun Slingshot! It’s probably something you have to worry about, dragging behind an SUV and all…

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      It’s sperm in a cup!

      *Sending myself to the corner.

      Adores: 5
  24. 2010 August 5
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Hmm, no thanks, I don’t need any garants today!

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      Geez EB.. it just looks like we’re talking to ourselves!

      Did you hear that?

      Adores: 0
  25. 2010 August 5
    LimeLolly permalink

    HAHAHA…

    Sorry, we’ve already got someone who’s written a script for the YSaC movie and the personal agent thingy is covered.

    How about a nice misjay for your records?

    Adores: 0
  26. 2010 August 5

    Adult webcam models, that’s easy, try shopping at Best Buy, not Toys R’ Us.

    Adores: 0
  27. 2010 August 5
    Litarider permalink

    Why do I have to go out to be a webcam model?

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      Cause you can’t film in a dark room?

      Adores: 0
  28. 2010 August 5
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Hmmm, this looks familiar…

    Then again, according to this guy, it’s “one of a kind” so I think somebody around here is lying… If you do a google search you find at least 3 or 4 of these things! Do people really not understand the concept of “one”??

    Adores: 4
  29. 2010 August 5

    {corey} You see, it’s never been unfolded, because it came standing up (like you see in the first picture) and it’s only since been FOLDED (before taking the other 2 pics)… so technically, it’s totally possible not to have ever been UNFOLDED. {/corey}

    (although that’s less {corey} and more {obnoxiously pedantic and legalistic} )

    *EDIT: real carrot brackets (<) fail to show up for some reason.

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5

      baaa! why did that randomly appear THERE?
      comment nesting is weird today.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        kelli permalink

        The Llamanun (bees upon her) or the ostrimu probably had to delete some spam posting. The comments always get wonky when that happens.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      kelli permalink

      [code corey] Caret brackets “<" fail to show up because this page uses XHTML and in XHTML, the brackets are used to input code, such as this strike-outs or bold. [/corey]

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5
        Addicted Reader permalink

        While you’re code-coreying, how do people make stuff appear as a block quote?

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          CapnMac permalink

          Use this pair:
          <blockquote> text to quote </blockquote>

          gratuitous example:

          <blockquote> text to quote </blockquote>

          Oh, and to make an angle bracket, it is the string
          “& #60 ;” without spaces; the closing angle bracket is “& #62 ;”

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          EclecticBlue permalink

          I use & lt ; and & gt ; … Easier to remember, for me anyways ๐Ÿ™‚

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Addicted Reader permalink

          Huh, the code to make block quotes is “blockquote.” And I couldn’t remember that. Now I feel dumb. I blame it on fudge coma.

          (Seriously, please come take some of the fudge, before I kill myself eating too much of it. I think Meredith is in my geographical area, anyone else?)

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          I know about 150 voraciously hungry high-schoolers who can take approximately 4 charter buses to your location to receive said fudge, so long as there is a high school with a marching band that hosts a competition suitably nearby.

          Adores: 0
  30. 2010 August 5
    Chilly permalink

    In addition to all the other insanity going on, pedantry compels me to point out that the cutout is from the “Bad” cover, i.e. circa 1987, not 1984.

    Adores: 6
    • 2010 August 5
      Lola permalink

      Hi, Chilly! Thanks for joining us. Here are your [corey] tags for when it’s Pedantry Time. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Adores: 4
  31. 2010 August 5

    That’s what she said.

    Random comment..fits anywhwere on the page…

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5

      Lesseee where dis one goes…….

      Wheeeeeeeeeee

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5

        Okay…looks like nesting is working again…

        Adores: 0
  32. 2010 August 5
    abwh permalink

    Even the TAY box is fouled. Wonder where this will go…

    Edit: WAY out of place!

    Adores: 0
  33. 2010 August 5

    Nesting is overrated, it’s far more fun to have a series of meaningless affairs comments.

    Edit:This was supposed to not nest below Lollies comment at the bottom of the page…

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 August 5
      LimeLolly permalink

      Nesting is overrated, itโ€™s far more fun to have a series of meaningless affairs.

      I believe that’s how these infections start.

      Adores: 9
      • 2010 August 5

        You nested with me!

        Whooohooo!

        Edit:Taco was right, it was a trap!

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          I should ask if it was good for you…but it seemed all too brief.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          ZzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

          *Wa..huh? snorgle*

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          :sigh:

          I can only ever find Minutemen.. always ready, but never enough ammo.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 August 5
          kelli permalink

          Get a room.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 August 5
          MandaB permalink

          My MEWWWWWSE is porking a gecko in a nest? The YSaC snark lounge is the strangest place ever.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 August 5

          Well, if I’m gunna be your MEWWWWWSE I suppose I should look like one…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          LimeLolly permalink

          I… I….

          I’m gonna get a new avie….. tomorrow.

          You’ll never find me… bwahhaha

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5
          Meredith permalink

          OHHHHH, WHO’S GETTING A ROOM TODAY????

          DON’T GO INTO THE ROOM! YOU’LL NEVER COME OUT! DOOOOOM AWAITS IN THE ROOM!!!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Kitty shark hungry!
          Feed kitty shark NOW!

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 August 5

          Oh, Happy Shark Week!

          Adores: 0
  34. 2010 August 5
    MandaB permalink

    Hammy, the new “avatar”, while fitting for Shark Week and all, is perhaps one of the “creepiest” things “ever”.

    Who’d a thunk I’d prefer “canned” meat to a “smiling” “kitty-shark”*?

    *overuse of quotation marks brought to you by Sparky, Pepsi, and the late MJ.

    Adores: 4
  35. 2010 August 5

    Oh S&^%, now I feel bad for replying to the spam, which probably aided in breaking the site. Sorry:(

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      Jen permalink

      @ Christina – do you mean reply as in “Oh Spambot, you are so amusing, here, let me mock you”, or reply as in “Hello kind sir, yes, I am interested in the services of a virtually prostitutory nature you purvey, please send information and further father-complexes to Sparky@sparkymail.com“?

      I’m’a go out on a limb and guess it’s the former?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 5

        Of course, the first one, yeah…why would I…uh… I mean…
        *hides webcam behind back*
        Look! A Not.a.lion! Over there!

        Adores: 1
  36. 2010 August 5
    Meredith permalink

    YOU GUYS REALLY SLACKED OFF ON TALK IN ALL CAPS DAY! I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU GUYS! TRY TO GET IT TOGETHER BY NEXT YEAR, OKAY????

    EDIT: WHOAH, HOW DID THIS GET ALL THE WAY UP HERE? I PUT IT IN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE? WHAT WERE YOU GUYS DOING WHILE I WAS GONE????!!! WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL?????

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 August 5
      Jen permalink

      Billy Mays liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiives!!!!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 August 5

        Unlike Michael Jackson.

        ALSO, IS BLUE HELL WHERE THE BLUE DEVILS DRUM CORP CAME FROM?

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 6
      Moira permalink

      The replies to the spam posting that was deleted fall to the bottom. New posts will end up above those. WordPress is funny that way.

      If possible, changing the spam posting to read [deleted post] or similar instead of actually deleting it would resolve this issue. I do not recall if WP gives us those tools (been about 4 years since I admined a WP blog) but it’d be easy enough to change with direct database access.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 6

        Yup. Getting things to work properly is Plan A. That’s Plan B.

        Adores: 0
  37. 2010 August 5
    LimeLolly permalink

    And itโ€™s not currently on fire!

    Thanks goodness! Because my water bill this month was abnormally large, and I just don’t think I can afford to be in the rescue business this month.

    Adores: 2
  38. 2010 August 5
    EclecticBlue permalink

    Oh sad… I was hoping to wait around long enough to get my punch, but Windrose never came back. Do I get a ticket redeemable tomorrow? Just as long Windrose is gentle, it being my first time and all!

    Edit: This isn’t the bottom of the page… Oh well :-p

    Adores: 0
    • 2010 August 5
      Windrose permalink

      EB, I usually show up around 9:00 to 9:30 PM PST. I know that means most commentors do not ever see the sign-off I do. So here’s the gentle Punchity Punch Punch! Enjoy!

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 August 6
        EclecticBlue permalink

        Oof! Thanks! ๐Ÿ™‚ Looks like by the time you show up, I’m usually watching TV with Mr. EB or baking ๐Ÿ™‚

        Adores: 0
  39. 2010 August 5
    stephanie f permalink

    Hmmm…maybe drmk should forward this over to the “blog” of “unnecessary” quotation marks… (www.unnecessaryquotes.com).

    Adores: 0

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