SWINGFORTSLIDE – $600
MUST SELL MAKE OFFER…XXX XXX XXXX GOOD CONDITION,WELL BUILT!!!NOT LIKE WAL MART STUFF !!!
What a wonderful swingfortslide. Why, Timmy will love to play on OH MY GOD THAT GIANT BIRD IS EATING TIMMY! OH, THE HUMANITY!
Thanks, Julie!
Want a Not.A.Lion t-shirt AND a Llama-nun's Prayer mug? How about a Cat Math mousepad? Of course you do!
All are now available as t-shirts and other things! (The llamanun mugs contain the YSaC group prayer on the back.)
| WordPress Hates Me – A Novel Approach on YSaC, Vol. 573: The nacho cheese fountain finally has some competition. […] we come to the part that WordPress hates. My long-time attachment to a humor blog called You Suck at… | |
| 2794: The pale rider saga – Chapter 2 part 2 | Library of the Damned on Vol. 273: Miss Teen South Carolina sells furniture, y’all! […] Ah, the good ol’ dinning table. […] | |
 | bianchisound on YSaC, Vol CXCII In case anyone ever checks. I just saw this ad and missed everyone here. Enjoy! https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/pho/d/nellis-afb-womans-feet/7164431024.html |
 | Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1800: So long, and thanks for all the bees. Wow, it’s amazing to finally find this site. I’d say I’m late in getting here, but I know I’m right… |
| Decelerate Spoon on YSaC, Vol. 1243: A little hard of herring. I thought this joke smelt, but this guy really knew how to drop the bass. And it flopped around everywhere… |
So Wal-Mart doesn’t sell well-built giant carnivorous birds in good condition? Is that meant to imply that the giant carnivorous birds you can buy at Wal-Mart are somehow inferior, perhaps with shoddy stitching on the feathers or an unsettling tendency for the beaks to fall off?
Or worse? Like their heads fall off?
Yet another example of how outsourcing all the manufacturing in this country will lead to the fall of our great nation.
I mean, c’mon! What kind of world do we live in when you can’t even get a large, carnivorous, bird at Wal-Mart anymore?
You think Target has any left in stock?
Silly llamanun (bees be upon her). That’s not a huge manatee. That’s a huge raven. Nevermore shall it visit Wal-Mart.
I can’t stop Raven, I can’t stop Raven, I can’t stop Raven…
Possessed CD player?
Giant carnivorous bird? No problem. Here KittyShark! Dinner time!
Manda, you may have just written the premise of the next Syfy original movie.
Starring Joe Estevez as the wise cracking KittyShark. Oh and the Giant carnivorous bird isn’t actually part of the plot, it only shows up to eat children randomly throughout the movie.
In glorious detail and gore, of course.
Joe Estevez tasted much like Charlie Sheen, just a lower alcohol content.
But tastfully blurred out for the N. American market.
To quote MST3K:
“Does anything ever really STAR Joe Estevez?”
This saturday, on Syfy….Tigershark* vs Demon-Crow! Who will win!?
*Sound of people screaming*
*Tigershark sounds more ferocious than Kittehshark.
True, but a Tigershark is an actual shark.
How about a Not.A.Lionshark?
Let’s go with that….
This saturday on Syfy….Not.A.Lionshark vs Demon-Crow!!!!!!!!* Who will win!?
*sound of people screaming*
* I deliberately added all those exclamation marks; don’t judge me.
I read that as “Demon-Cow” the first time.
My money was going to be on Demon-Cow.
Birdemic
🙂
Yet again, my money will be on the bird, which has two (or three*) ways to get around, by air or by land. Meanwhile, Not.A.Lionshark can only get around by water.
*It’s a Demon-Crow, it must be able to go through the underworld.
No more flying things!
Still hacking up KittyDactyl fur.
*Oooo, a slide weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I think you should rename your avatar as KittySnark.
Kinda like Cutty Sark only different….
Less distilled, perhaps? {g}
I always had trouble with the swingfortslide when we did square dancing in gym class.
Well, it’s just a swing to the left, and a fort to the right, then you sliiiiiiiide…
To the tune of Jimmy Crack Corn:
Swingfortslide and I don’t care
Swingfortslide and I don’t care
Swingfortslide and I don’t caaaaaaare
Ijustwantthisthingoffmylawn.
Any way to enlarge that picture? I would love to get a close up of the scale of that bird.
(Why hello prepositional phrases! How nice to see so many of you this morning.)
Enlarging the pic makes it look like the swingfortslide is really a model, made of Lincoln Logs, on which the bird is perching.
It’s really weird…and that’s saying a lot for regulars of this site.
Swingfortslide! Swingfortslide! Swingfortslide!
(It’s only a model.)
SHHH!
We’re knights of the giant raven,
Our antics are depraven,
We dance between
The laden beams
And children we be savin,
We love to live at swingfortslide
We eat pig and pork and pie!
Yes, I know, I forced some rhymes there. I’m fighting off an infection on my foot (I decided it would be fun to take a big chunk out of the side of my foot when I was at the Cape the other day) so my brain is not quite up to this. But I wanted to try anyway.
See, should thave gone for chinese buffet for the hangover instead of the broken glass on the beach at the Cape {g}
Not broken glass. I’m not entirely sure what I scraped my foot on. I was balancing on a low fence (low being about 1′) and I lost my footing (it was probably inadvisable to be balancing on a fence in flip-flops). So, I could have scraped it on the fence, but the scrape is on the wrong side of my foot for that. There were some bushes, but the scrape is too deep for it to be from just a branch, I would have had to hit the larger root and I wasn’t anywhere near that. I suppose I could have looked under the bushes to see, but I was somewhat focused on the fact that I had a large wound on my foot that needed to be cleaned immediately.
Bridgete – about a month ago I chipped my knuckle…and I have NO idea how…but I woke up with my finger swollen and black and blue. At that point, the only imperative was stopping the PAIN.
Wow. I’ve had random injuries that I didn’t remember getting — usually bruises, but occasionally something like a chip out of my knuckle — but that’s quite the injury for not remembering how you got it!
Edited to add: As for stopping the pain, my foot didn’t actually hurt much. But I have a high pain tolerance. My friends were really surprised that I wasn’t in much pain at all.
I tried copying it and enlarging it, but the resolution is horrible. When you get it to a decent size all you can see are the individual pixels. We need some of that magic software they have on CSI.
I got a pretty good resolutin at 800% and I swear it’s a Lincoln Log model.
I can’t get it very clear either. One thing that is very clear is their lawn. It’s immaculate. How much for the fescue? Really, I want to buy your
womenlawn. And especially the fire hydrant. Those kids have their own fire hydrant, fer cryin’ out loud! Either that, or it’s a severely mutated garden gnome.No wonder it’s so weird looking. It’s made of pixels.
Momma said I’m unique looking!
*Sniff*
Taco, that explains a lot…
I was not “getting” this at all until I lifeted the image into irfanview. Even then, it was not up to CSI standards.
While trying to sort out whether was crow or raven, I was thinking about the murder of crows that used to be in my neighborhood. These would be S. King-dimensioned crows, in the 2# range, big as a laying hen.
Then it occured to me where I had seen just such a miniature before.
It was in Sam’s, part of the Wal*Mart empire. O the irony.
Which also now poses the question to Sparq, is the miniature or the full-size set for sale?
That was the most lyrical way I’ve ever seen somebody call shenanigans.
I also tried to enlarge it and am now convinced that the bird is on a leash.
And that a member of the Blue Man Group is hiding under the slide.
Using my mad CSI skills, I’ve been able to enlarge the pic.
Amazingly enough, I also captured a snippet of audio.
or see pic at http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4125/4971493113_77cd6397cd_m.jpg
Depressy could have told you that.
So could I.
Oh, you didn’t mean like that, did you?
The Swingset, a child’s play land; a toy barely fun.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s first multiple play set. Swingfortslide will be that playset; very slightly better than it was before. Better, stronger, and with a giant child-eating bird.
How do you know it eats children? It could eat adults that want the children to “Come on inside, it’s time to eat.”
It’s a ‘fee’ playing area.
You must offer a bedazzled deer carcass to join the fun.
Tippi Hedren!? NO WAY! I wonder if Hitchcock would approve of this name drop tactic on such a coveted item?
Is the tippster also selling/giving away one of her golden globes?
If so, I’d love to ride her slide whilst lavishly gulping down mtn dew out of her “award cup”.
Trivia Question:
In 1979 Richard Schickel composed and directed a history of horror movies hosted by Anthony Perkins. Tippi Hedren, among others, was featured in several of these clips from scores of horror and sci-fi classics. What was the name of this show?
Pee-Wee’s Playhouse?
AAAK! Please stop with the double entendres!
Masterpiece Theatre?
The Horror Show…sigh…how terribly un-scary…
hahaha, CJ is correct! Drmk, tell him what he’s won!
Top 5 Horror Movies of All Time:
• Exorcist
• Psycho
• Hellraiser
• The Birds
• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Let’s butcher all of the classics since we haven’t come out with a good movie in years…hey, I know! We can cast Shia Lafuck…SERIOUSLY! GOD DAMNITTTTTT!!! I LOATHE YOU GEORGE LUCAS! YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIE!!!!!!
Sorry…but he killed Indi!!!!!!!!
Actually I think a mercy killing of Indy would have been a good thing. What Lucas did was dress Indy up like a prostitute and sell his body to the masses. Once Lucas had what he wanted, Indy was discarded like used, battered goods; dead inside but still forced to live in a world that couldn’t respect him.
Indy didn’t die, he just got married.
Granted, there are some who consider it to be one and the same.
I can attest that getting married isn’t so bad, but having a baby = social death.
The trick to being alive on the other side of marriage seems to be marrying a geek. Indy on the other hand married a *ahem* jerk. But, to be fair, I doubt Indy would actually be considered a good catch either. Especially given the James Bond level STDs he’s probably packing.
I also thank you all for ignoring my weird (bad) grammar in “Indy ifn’t dead on the outside” post. I was apparently out of my mind with hunger when I wrote it. A cheeseburger with grilled onions and french fries later and I’m in a more stable mindset.
*Twitch Twitch*
You can ignore that, I’m sure it’s fine.
What’s it say about us Taco that we no longer view your grammatically-challenged
ramblingsinsights as anything out of the ordinary?mmmmmm…grilled onions…….mmmmmm……
They were glorious, CJ. The place I go to for my burgers/gyros grills their onions perfectly: just past the point where they’re soft, but not over cooked.
I think I’ve only ever found like 3 places that have ever done it correctly. Grilled onions are usually either still mostly crunchy, or onion mush when you order them at most burger joints.
Yummy…I’m a bit of a grilled onion connoisseur myself and can boast to cooking them to perfection. Of course, I’ve never found any restaurant that could do justice to a sweet vidalia cooked to caramelized perfection.
I’m hungry.
If I wasn’t stuffed to the gills, I’d want more grilled onions now.
Onions and garlic don’t last long in my kitchen. I’ve discovered that the vast majority of dinner foods can be improved with the addition of sautéed onions and garlic (not desserts of course).
Even on my lazy days when I make something from a box (gasp! say it ain’t so!) I still add sautéed onions and garlic.
Since my wife started doing most of the cooking during the week, I’ve been making “onion cubes” for her. I sautee up a bag of sweet onions with garlic then put them into ice cube trays with a smidge of water and freeze them. They actually work really, really well. Just pull two cubes out and toss them in the pan before cooking.
Evil, evil, taco–so not good while I am hungry and broke.
Nice twist on pan-fried onions, just as they wilt and want to color, add some brown sugar and ground cayenne.
Another fave is “tobacco onions” (dang, cannot find the oven-baked recipe, which is better than deep or pan-fried).
Seared onions with garlic nonsense, basted in soy sauce, peppered to perfection. The type of taste explosion that is crisp, yet decadent. The juice explodes in your mouth, as you crunch down on the flawless creation. After consumption your tongue will never be the same again. The brain creates a new taste bud so this experience is impossible to replicate. No onion will ever match up for the rest of your life. Don’t try me, I put restaurant chains out of business.
mmmmm, onions.
As founder and president of the Avian Anti-defamation Association, I am requesting politely that you stop referring to my client, I mean, pet crow, as a giant carnivorous bird. He is a victim of a genetic condition, and cannot help his size. He also would not eat Timmy unless Timmy had been sitting still for hours, or was already dead. You people have been watching too many scary movies.
As I said, this is my polite request for you to cease and desist. Otherwise, you will be hearing from my lawyers.
SharksLawyers? I smell a trap!Hey, I resemble that!
Except for you Bridgete.
But she’s already trapped a Brazillion!
A brazillion what? WOW! That’s a LOT!
😉
I ♥ my Brazilian.
Ifn’t it a little late in the Summer to get a Brazilian?
Ifn’t? What’s an ifn’t?
Silva and I replaced if with if.
Oh. I missed that. I was really lethargic yesterday, I don’t think I absorbed much of anything I might have read.
It’f ok, Bridgete. I’ve been there a few times in the past couple of weeks myself.
Windrose, you founded AAA? Does this group change tires, too?
The roadside assistance group has their own branch, Finches with Wrenches.
Hummingbirds run the Foreign Language office.
Avian Addicts Anonymous?
Somebody tell the Grey Goose® and Wild Turkey® people.
I got here late, as usual it seems lately, but if you hadn’t mentioned that I was going to. Giant Crow wouldn’t be interested in healthy happy playing kids but might find the zombie baby from yesterday tasty.
I have now changed the name of the organization to Avian Anti-defamation Association and Kindercare (AAAK). Zombie children get a huge discount!
Those ignorant ignoramuses! That’s Fort Glisserswing, the bastion where France surrendered to Germany during WWII. I don’t know where these yokels got it from, but clearly this belongs back home. I mean, look! Giant mutant birds are already crapping all over it! That’s just shameful.
Mindfield, I’m warning you!
Sorry, “involuntarily gigantized incontinent avians.” Does that work for your client?
*checks dictionary* Hmm, okay. That’s better.
I don’t see monkey bars… I guess the Raven eated them.
I think most of the monkey bars are on Lester Ave just off of main street.
There is (or was) a Monkey Bar downtown. It is (was?) a little too Hipster Yuppie for my taste.
If Hipster Yuppies aren’t to your taste, what kind of monkies do you perfer to eat?
I much prefer the cake kind
I was in a tea shop this afternoon, looking to buy some orange blossom tea. The salesperson asks me
Him: “Can I interested you in some monkey business?”
Me: “WHAT?”
Him: “Can I interested you in some monkey business?”
Me: “WHAT?!” *seriously freaked out at this point*
Him: “Monkey business?”
Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about” O_O
Him: “We’re having a sale on Monkey teapots”
Me: “No.”
I’m not to your taste? But… but… Depressey gave me this new herbal bodywash… it’s called… Ken’s Steakhouse.
SilvaNoir, how do you say O_O ?
It’s a shocked face. Two wide eyes and a closed mouth.
O_O
^_^ happy face
>_> skeptical face
@_@ dizzy/ confused face
-_- and a sleepy face. Which I am. So goodnight!
I cannot imagine a green tree lizard much enjoying a saloon full of partially-inebriated omniverous birds of any dimention.
What sits in the yard,
And keeps you on guard,
And has a flesh-eating bird?
A thing! A thing!
What the hell is this thing?
Everyone knows it’s Swingfortslide!
Swingfortslide, Swingfortslide!
Made in half zero scale!
Swingfortslide, Swingfortslide!
Better than a cheap Walmart sale!
Taco, stop it right now! Flesh-eating bird is no way to talk about a carrion crow!
Do you prefer “Avian-American that consumes the living-disadvantaged”?
I personally prefer to say demonically-possessed avian of terror. Or crow. Whichever.*
I saw The Birds.
Ok, does that not retutn to the debate about it being “Windy” or “Wendy”?
With the concurrent issue of the UK playhouse to be almost on topic.
I thought “everyone knows its Windy”. You mean they don’t?
According to Alan Titchmarsh* everyone knows it’s a Wendy-house.
______________________
*may not be true.
Wendyhouse is a generic name in the UK for children’s playhouses
Mr Titchmarsh is a well-known landscaper who appears on BBC TV
Do you know how hard it is to lure a large carnivorous bird to your SWINGFORTSLIDE and get it to perch on said SWINGFORTSLIDE simply so you can prove how sturdy and strong your SWINGFORTSLIDE is? It took Sparky entire minutes and tons of carion to get this bird to perch just right.
In the interest of preserving the peace I think instead of calling this bird either “carnivorous” or “flesh-eating” we should go with “herbivorously challenged.”
That way windy won’t have to start with the spankings.
Well, not until Gramps gets here anyway.
Thank you. I think.
I think I’ll just call it eater of the dead. Or George.
I’m thinking “Spanking Grandpas” may be a band name.
With “Shyster Birds” opening?
“Spanking Grandpas” – semi-live at the 40 Watt. Early Bird Special from 4:00 – 5:30. Two drink minimum (Prune Juice or Metamucil, OR “Prune Juice and Bran Muffin” buffet.
Don’t miss this show – this could very well be their farewell tour!
Featuring all their hits:
“I Left My Heart…….. Somewhere”
“The Pokey Hokey” – ‘You put something in…… I forget what it’s about.’
“If You Wanta Be Happy For the Rest of Your Life – Make it Quick”
“You Can’t Buy Beer, (you only rent it.)
Thank you, I think.
Look at the size of that swingfortslide! Do you realize how many deer carcasses you could hang from this thing?
If you start hanging
peopledeer carcasses from that thing you’ll never get rid of the giant crows.Last time I saw this image, a Super-flu escaped from a top-secret laboratory in the desert thanks to some asshole named Campion.
Hi Ed!
Hi TacomaGic!
Yo, Ed!! Long time no snark!
*blink* Hasn’t Ed been back for a couple days now? Or have I entered some kind of weird YSaC time warp? I wouldn’t be surprised…
He may have been. But I’ve been gone since around mid-day on Friday. This might be the first time I’ve been around to say hi.
Weekends don’t count as days anymore, even costumed-penis weekends.
Just so you’re all aware, I saw a new ad with Mr. Winkey, and he had a hipster sunglasses-wearing child sitting on one of his knees.
I just… but… he… *TACOSPLODE!*
Are you sure it was an actual child and not a hired midget?
I see you like the new photoshoot. We hired a new ad exec. Says his name is… Kuma P. Doe-bear. Or something.
A tale of two SWINGFORTSLIDES
“It was the best of slides, it was the worst of slides, it was for the use of children, between the age of three to thirteen, it was the fort of belief, it was the fort of imagination, it was the swing of flight, it was the swing of ravens, it was the swing of rope, it was on the lawn of fescue, it had everything for us, it was nothing without us, it was going to attract the raven, we were all going to run the other way–in short, the fort was so far like a present from Satan, that some of its squeakiest pivots insisted on its being oiled with the margarine of evil, it was a superlative degree of comparison to a pony.”
Didn’t we already have Shakespeare week? I vaguely remember doing a King Lear remake.
Yes we did, but since you were not here this weekend you wouldn’t know that this week is Dick-ens week.
“Call me Swingfortslide….”
I’m christening it Moby Dick-ens week.
Damn, that was Dickens wasn’t it. Apparently I need more coffee this morning (or I need to read more Dickens).
TM, you’ve made ol’ Chuck sad.
I blame my illiteracy… and the fact that I don’t really care for Dickens.
LL, did you just refer to Charles Dickens as “Chuck”..?
Awesome!
🙂
Yesterday, driving along campus, I saw a college student wearing a t-shirt in Charlie Brown pattern–marigold crayon yellow with black zig-zag stripe.
Still sorting that image out (esp. as the student was tall and lanky, not the least bit round-headed at all).
Sadly, the lanky youth probably thought it was ironic, seeing as the Charlie Brown tee was popular back when I was in college in the early 90s. It was a grunge/raver thing.
Presenting….the YSaClopedia!
http://ysaclopedia.wikispaces.com/
All it has right now is welcome message from me on the front page and my progress so far on the YSaCtionary. I’ve set it to only allow edits from people I’ve approved, but I’ll approve all of you. I figured we don’t want random outsiders coming in and “fixing” stuff (like misspelled words in our dictionary).
I’m going to create a forum thread for this too, so that it doesn’t get lost in the shuffle.
Should someone add pages for people who comment as well?
Like an entry on Hamcan (that’ll be a lot of innuendo.)
Hmm, that might be fun. 🙂
In whose endo?
It’s not loading for me…
Oh no!
I approved Capn, EB, and drmk already, so I know it works.
Bridgete, this is wonderful! Elebenty + adores for your great work.
Question, from one who is ignorant in the ways of Wikis: How do I (or others whom you deem worthy) become able to edit or add to the dictionary?
Well, first you’ll want to join wikispaces. There’s a link at the top of the page that says “join”. Either use Grampdaddy so I know who you are (most have done that so far) or, if Grampdaddy is unavailable, use whatever you want and then when you ask to join the group you can send me a short message to identify yourself (Jen had to do that).
Once you’ve done that, go back to the YSaClopedia, and on the right hand side there’s a link that says “join this wiki.” Click that, and it will let you send me a request to join.
I’m there…good job, Bridgete. 🙂
SWINGFORTSLIDE
*Anagram fun*
Flossed Writing (Typing while wearing the TacoThong)
Florist Swinged (Well it is a SWINGFORTSLIDE, kinky!)
Witless Fording (Wading through Sparky’s thoughts)
Disgown Lifters (Pervers!)
Worst Elf Dig Sin (This Elf made possessed dolls)
Fisting Slew Rod (I would think so!)
OT: A friend of mine shared an ad from her local newspaper for chihuahua-dachshund mixed puppies. They called them “chiweenies”. For some reason I thought of all of you and how much you would enjoy that name. 🙂
My 5 yr old calls the honey bun confection – a ‘weenie bun’.
And I thought of YSaC people. I’m not really sure what this means.
Mixed dog breeds have funny names these days. My favorite is Labradoodle (Labrador/poodle). I remember when they were called “mutts”
My favorite is the schnauzer/poodle combo, or schnoodle. I just like saying “schnoodle.”
Beagle+Basset Hound=Bagel.
I tried to come up with silly names for my dogs but they either sound boring (Swiss Grey, the one pictured above, Swiss Shepard/Greyhound), Perverse (Cockadore, Cocker Spaniel/Black Lab), or silly (Catstaffweiler, Catahoula/Staffordshire Terrier/Rotweiler).
My dog is part “damned if we know,” and part “a bit of everything.”
mine is border collie and whippet. border-whip!
Completely OT, but Capn I gotta ask you:
Does it seem to you that this is the second most dangerous way to do a cove on a cabinet panel? (The first being using a shaping bit on a table saw and feeding from the back… have an uncle with 2 fingers who tried that).
Push the board through at 45º to the path of the blade? Seriously? Seems like that’s a board in the face waiting to happen.
Maybe this is standard practice, and I’ve just been raised to be a chicken, but that just seems… reckless.
Well, It’s about the last way I’d do it.
And, I’m sore worried I’m among the last people in the world who could look at the carbides on the teeth and the set of same and guess how many blades it might take.
This on top of the irresponsibility of not having both the “with finger boards and stops and kick-back preventers” to with that “safest place is a block away and never-even-watched-a-medical-show-on-tv level of medical knowledge” which sould have huge, dripping-blood, warning labels reading “Do Not Do This! Never! The Art Director Insisted, and Since Lefty got that 2nd hook, he’s real mean!”
Also, nothing in there to make about elebenty passes, raising the blade 1/elbentith a pass, if this is the only cove strategy you own for the one door panel you will ever make.
Sheesh, has no one seen a Federal Bevel panel? (Which “looks” scary on a tablesaw, for needing a sort-of tenoning jig to hold the panels vertical through the blade–bbut is not really that scary if done right.)
THE BIRD! It’s going to EAT ALL OF OUR KILLER MUTANT CORN!!!
QUICK! WE MUST CUT A BIKE PATH SO THAT IT RETURNS TO THE SWINGFORTSLIDE!!!
Well, it’s been a very long short week, and I did an hour of Zumba on top of that so I’m going to Punch sarajean if she will just put the baby down, and sign off.
Sarajean, Punchity Punch Punch!
G’Night, Bodega Bay!
Ouchity-ouch-ouch!
Thank you ma’am, may I have another?