YSaC, Vol. 1624: Yaag ruggwah maw huah huah?
This sturdy wooden dresser has a big mirror (not shown) and 9 drawers that are covered with fabric. They have two-tone beige-grey faux fur. It’s staple-gunned on, so you could easily remove it to change it to your preferred fabric. The layer under the fur is black Jedi fabric, and before that, the drawers were Peter Rabbit.
It’s on the curb and supposed to rain Monday, so if you could get it today, that’d be great!
Please include your cell number for texting purposes if you’re interested or have questions.
There is nothing technically wrong with this ad. I just want to know — how many Wookiees died so that Sparky could upholster their dresser? The progression from Peter Rabbit to Return of the Jedi to Wookiee massacre is clear; did no one see the warning signs? Won’t someone think of the Wookiees?
Thanks, Suzi!
The Force is strong in this dresser.
Probably in the middle drawer, I’d wager.
This is not the dresser you are looking for…..move along.
(with apologies to real Star Wars fans…of whom I am none)
It’s not?
Dang. Now where an I supposed to look for a Force-sensitive dresser?
(“This is not the drawer your socks go in.”
“This is not the drawer my socks go in.”)
Perhaps peril-sensing tomatoes were stored within this, er, artifact, and that is why it’s being left by the curb in the rain–seeing as how tomato pureé and fur are less well-matched and all.
Peter Rabbit is a gateway to furryism. Peter Rabbit: Not even once!
I thought catgirls were the gateway to furryism.
Gasp! Has the internet LIED TO ME?!
Repeatedly. Especially about politicians.
The Wookiee homeworld is spelled “Kashyyyk”, with three Ys. As in, “Why, Why, Why?!”
Finally! The perfect accessory to complete my evil den of doom! It’s going to go perfectly with my goat sofa ( see: http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/?p=7941)
I’ve already claimed Peter Rabbit’s soul, watch out Dora, you’re next. Sponge Bob is saving you a seat.
My initial urge was to call Animal Control. I thought something has escaped from somewhere.
Well, it sure didn’t get very far.
This will look so great with my bedazzled deer hooves coat rack!
Just in case this ISN’T wookie fur, I hope someone picked it up before the rain started, and didn’t feed it after midnight.
I was thinking it was Ewok fur, Wookie fur tends to be longer.
It’s spelled “wookie faux fur dresser,” but it’s pronounced “tart’s boudoir.”*
Spark’ has failed to mention if this, ahem, item, has had its shots, been dipped for fleas and cow ticks, etc.
___________________________________
*BBC had a fascinating show, “Changing Rooms” where neighbors were given access to high-end designers, and told the neighbor’s opinions on how the room ought look. This occasionally was received less well by the neighbors. In one case, the neighbor objected, by way of barrister, to the BBC, using the phrase “[L]ooks like a tart’s bedroom…” in the filing. The Beeb paid to have the room redecorated entire, to specific client wishes.
On eBay, it’s spelled “Fux Fur.”
Shhhh! Don’t tell Brer! He’s sensitive to those things!
Fee For Faux Fux Fox Fur! I feel the drawers of a Peter Rabbit!
Now cut that out! Nobody said anything about feeling a Rabbit Peter!
Fox four corner.
*clears throat*
“Someone left this…thing…out in the rain.
And I don’t think I’m going to take it
Cause I don’t know why they’d make it
And I never can unsee it again!!!! OH NO!!!”
No?
*tapping microphone* Is this thing on?
“This is what happens when you try to make your own wardrobe to Narnia. ”
That’s it…I got nothin’
Oh no, kc…..you gots PLENTY!!!!!
Were you in MacAwful Park by any chance?
Another example of why Highland cattle is better when it’s allowed to roam free.
You know, if that documentary I was in, “Behind The Fur” was about furniture, I would still have my dignity.
Okay, so after I made this comment, I googled “Documentary Behind the fur” and there is one.
I didn’t do it and now my dignity won’t even answer my calls. My life is so furreal.
I think that center drawer is where they keep all of the toys for Wookie Nookie.
Unless they are into midgets, then we’re talking props for the Ewoks’ Box and [Roosters].
That reminds me, I need to get me some
PICKLES! I need to get me some [censored] pickles. You know, the little ones.
Gherkins?
Sorry fellas, I can’t make it to The Lounge today. I have to help my girlfriend shave her drawers. Then she wants me to dresser. She thinks it will strengthen our relationship.
Rather oddly specific that the pelt-er-fux-er-whatever was/is “staple gunned” on.
Not all staple “guns” being the same. My old Bostitch 16ga would happily drive 1″wide crown roofing staple 1-1/2″ through asphalt shingles.
Which is a different sort of thing than using an upholstery stapler, or, as I suspect, that silvery doo-dad from the office supply store better known as a hand stapler.
Those 1/2″ crown 1/4″ stationary staples would be a tad easier to remove, should a person be inclined to follow Spark’s idea of skinning the dresser (what sort of attire one makes from nine ragged fux pelts each with a hole from a drawer-pull a question probably best left aside).
That’s like saying “What do you want on your pizza, dog poop or cat poop?”
“Dog poop, please….”…er, or was that a rhetorical question?
I really think this one is a TRAP!
I suggest a new strategy: let the dresser win.
Fauxes don’t pull peoples arms off when they lose.
YSaC Lounge: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
You will never find a more wretched hive of fur and perversity.
There, fixed it for you.
Well, fux!
So when you brush or comb your dresser, which side of the knobs do you put the part?
This person must have got that bear paint and used the brown gals and we will probably see an ad soon for white gals.
Yikes! There may be nothing technically wrong with this ad, but there’s a whole lot wrong with that dresser! I’d be afraid to bring that thing into my house…it is so furry it probably has fleas.
With a side of bed bugs, chlamydia, and staph.
I’m surprised no one has asked if there are matching drapes….
Is it just me? or is that Princess Leia doing reflectoporn in the dead wookie buttons in the middle picture? I can’t unsee that. “Dead Wookie Buttons” there’s a band name for someone 🙂