YSaC, Vol. 1709: Put me in, couch!

2014 May 28

Bed built inside couch. – 350


condition: new
Never use it since my grandmother death.

She didn’t own the couch or sleep on it or anything, I just can’t bring myself to sit on this completely unrelated couch since grandma died.

It has light color which gray n white.

Isn’t that TWO light colors?

It has two seats long for three persons to seat on it also inside of bed always stay covered plastic from factory. Pull out twice to show myself and a customer whom already not interested.

I’m already not interested, and I haven’t even seen the couch.

It nice and neat. Good for college student whom lived inside of college students’s homes or some folks of you looking for that kind of furniture which perfect fit for you when your have company respected stay overnight able to pull out the bed mattress without problem because it brand new.

…aaaand here’s where the ad goes completely off the rails. But at least we’re using the word “whom”. “Whom” makes every sentence fancy.

Call us phone show contact info when not able to reach phone and then leave the message within your name and phone number so we always listen to return your call from your message. Thank you.

So when I can’t reach my phone, I should call you, and then show my contact information to my phone? I’m so confused.

Thanks for the post, Max!

32 Responses leave one →
  1. 2014 May 28

    If I leave the message within my name and phone number, am I supposed to use steganography? Whom has time for that?

    Adores: 5
  2. 2014 May 28
    CapnMac permalink

    So many aspire to the J Pedermann catalog; some fall short.

    Adores: 5
  3. 2014 May 28
    MissMommyNiceNice permalink

    Ask not for whom the couch cries,
    It cries for the grandma whom dies.

    Call for yourself to see,
    If this two tone couch is for thee.

    Adores: 4
  4. 2014 May 28

    There are two responses to this:

    1) It’s a TRAP!

    2) It’s really one of the new line of Ikea couches, the TAARDIIS.

    Let’s vote, shall we? What say you, oh wise denizens of the YSaCer Club?

    Adores: 4
    • 2014 May 28
      nojazzhere permalink

      “THE TELL-TALE COUCH”….should be this post’s title. Doesn’t it read like Poe???

      (besides, I think Sparky killed his grandmother with it)

      Adores: 4
      • 2014 May 28
        Ruby Aesthetic permalink

        …Then hid (buried) Grandma in the mattress, in the couch, under the plastic.
        And that’s why the “customer whom already not interested”.
        My head hurts reading this and all I can hear is “Grandma got run over by a reindeer”

        Adores: 4
  5. 2014 May 28
    Windrose permalink

    I’m so confused.

    Sorry, Dan, I have dibbs on the confusion line today. Because, why did they build the bed inside the couch? It would have been easier to build the bed first, then build the couch around it. Right?

    Adores: 1
    • 2014 May 28
      mudslicker permalink

      The same reason they built the boat in the basement: A Challenge.

      Adores: 2
  6. 2014 May 28
    camille permalink

    And now, it’s time for Fun with Prepositions! Repeat after me, class:

    The bed is INSIDE the couch.
    Three persons seat ON the couch.
    The college student whom lived INSIDE of college student’s homes.
    That kind of furniture which perfect fit FOR you.
    The message is WITHIN your name and phone number.
    We always listen to return your call FROM your message.
    Sparky is WITHOUT a clue.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 May 28
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      Can someone draw me a picture of all of this? I’m thinking kind of a cross between Russian nesting dolls and an Escher print.

      Adores: 3
  7. 2014 May 28
    Irregular Fractal permalink

    I have to admit, the ad goes from confusing to hysterical when I read it in my best Boris Badenov voice.

    (Helena from Orphan Black is a close second.)

    Adores: 4
  8. 2014 May 28
    HamCan permalink

    Don’t read this it makes no sense.

    I told you not too.

    You did it anyway didn’t you?

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 May 28
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      You must UNREAD what you have read.

      Adores: 3
    • 2014 May 28
      Windrose permalink

      Hammy, if you had posted this BEFORE the ad, that would have helped! Bad Puppy, no biscuit.

      Adores: 1
      • 2014 May 28
        HamCan permalink

        They say time waits for no Ham…

        Adores: 1
        • 2014 May 28
          mudslicker permalink

          Maxwell, the Geico pig says, “Ham waits for no time. Boots and pants and boots and pants and boots and pants….”

          Adores: 0
      • 2014 May 28
        P-Rex permalink

        For future reference:

        Do not read that ad that will be posted in the future, it makes no sense.

        Now everyone will think I’m a P-sychic.

        That is how you protect yourself from a no biscuit situation, Hammy.

        Adores: 0
        • 2014 May 28
          HamCan permalink

          Biscuit pants!

          Adores: 2
  9. 2014 May 28
    Ralph permalink

    So the bed is built inside couch, and the inside of bed always stay covered plastic from factory. Sparky has pulled out the inside of the bed twice to show himself and a customer whom already not interested.

    So the couch is used and the mattress is new, but it has been disassembled twice? I also whom already not interested.

    No wonder Sparky is not able to reach phone; that’s hard to do from inside a mattress inside a couch.

    Perhaps Sparky prefers reading there rather than inside a dog.

    Adores: 7
    • 2014 May 28
      Windrose permalink

      It’s so much clearer the way you explain it, Ralph.

      Adores: 2
  10. 2014 May 28
    P-Rex permalink

    Bed built inside couch.

    Big Whoop! I built a new bed this morning in an old bolt hole. Try building one there, Sparky. I used the last one twice then took it out and replaced it with a brand new silk mattress.(silk is so hard to keep clean). And I would never charge anywhom 350 anythings for it.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 May 28
      One Moving Violation permalink

      *puts bag over head*

      Adores: 0
      • 2014 May 28
        P-Rex permalink

        Sorry about that.

        Correction: I replaced it with a brand new silk dog kennel.

        Sheesh!

        Adores: 1
      • 2014 May 28
        Windrose permalink

        And did those feet,
        In Ancient Times,
        Walk upon England’s valleys green?

        Adores: 2
  11. 2014 May 28
    P-Rex permalink

    Is “Bed in a Couch” a game similar to “Ball in a cup”?

    Adores: 0
    • 2014 May 28
      One Moving Violation permalink

      When I played baseball, I had two balls in a cup.

      Adores: 1
  12. 2014 May 28
    One Moving Violation permalink

    I built a bed inside my sofa.
    I built a bed inside my couch.
    I tried to sleep in it last Tuesday.
    I stuck to the plastic. Oh, ouch!

    Adores: 1
  13. 2014 May 28
    One Moving Violation permalink

    Pull out twice to show myself and a customer whom already not interested

    Sparky pulled it out once to look at it himself and he thought, “It must be good.”
    Sparky pulled it out again to show it to someone else. That person wasn’t at all interested in what Sparky pulled out. Probably because it was covered with plastic. Now Sparky is upset and just wants to get rid of it.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2014 May 28
    Ralph permalink

    Every Whom Down in Whomville Liked couches a lot…
    But the Grinch, whom lived just north of Whomville, Did NOT!

    Because Whoms are not respected stay overnight, unlike Whos?

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 May 28
      camille permalink

      Will you respect whom in the morning if whom stays overnight?

      Adores: 3
  15. 2014 May 28
    SilvaNoir permalink

    Call us phone

    You are phone!

    Hello, Phone.

    Adores: 3
    • 2014 May 29
      nojazzhere permalink

      Hello walls, within this couch
      Don’t act as if you’re such a grouch
      Like teenagers whom tend to slouch
      and be like just a sullen douche…….

      Adores: 1

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.