YSaC, Vol. 533: You light up my life.
Happy New Year, everyone! And in case you were looking to start your new year off by following up on that resolution you made last night to increase the amount of lighting in your house, I’ve got just the thing for you:
Tiffany Chanderlier, Custom Made,Brand new – $40
Custom Made Tiffany Glass Hanging Chanderlier, 18″ on each side, 14″ tall each side, 100″ hanger to make the size you want, plugs into light outlet, never used, brand new, comes from a smoke free home, if interested please call xxx-xxx-xxxx.
Now, mind you, “custom made” here means that it includes their names and wedding date; of course, these are cleverly hidden underneath the hanging chain in this photo. But if you’re Denise and Tom, and you were married in August of 199 … something, you’ve just found the chandelier of your dreams and the answer to all your lighting prayers.
Too bad it didn’t say Becky & Tim — whoever bought their “blank” wedding invitations could certainly have gotten some mileage out of this.
Thanks, Dani!
Drat. That is my first name but not my husband’s. We did meet in August 199something (on my birthday). So, so close. And it would have looked lovely over my “skeletons climbing out of hell” table. Maybe I could get hubby to change his name?
DO IT. When you tell everyone he did it for THIS LAMP, they’ll totally understand.
Wait, YOU are the one who out-manuevered me for the table???!!! DAMN YOU!!! Just for that I’m getting this lamp…so YOU can’t have it!!! HA, so there!
What is that on the front? It looks like a seal balancing the following items on his nose:
– A green harmonica
– Half a tambourine
– A paintbrush dipped in orange paint
– A pair of flip-flops with fuzzy tops
– An unidentified flying brown wedge
And when they say it’s a “Tiffany Chanderlier” I think Tiffany is the 13 year old daughter of their second cousin or something like that.
“And when they say it’s a ‘Tiffany Chanderlier’ I think Tiffany is the 13 year old daughter of their second cousin or something like that.”
Having seen a fair amount of genuine Tiffany glassworks, including in museums, I’m inclined to agree. It may not all be to my taste, but it’s clearly well-made. This? Turn the damn thing over and embed it in a cement base and make a birdbath out of it. Not too ugly that way.
I totally love the way they don’t mention the names and wedding date at all. Disclosure fail! 🙂
As far as I can tell it’s a black dove below a sunrise/sunset, with bells over the sun.
Maybe.
I…I think I see it! It’s….a path going into the distance, into some symmetrical foothills. The hills are below a sunset, whose light is escaping into the Universe of Subdued-Hues Flowers, because the Gate of the Giant Macaroni Noodles has broken.
It’s an image of the sun setting on Tom and Denise’s marriage.
To me, it looks like a windy road leading up to a deep green mountain, on which lays a…dead flamingo? And on the horizon…a…yellow santa hat?
I’d think it was weird if the pink roses didn’t tie it all together so well.
If it’s brand new, who cares if it comes from a smoke-free home?
Ed! We missed you! 8)
Yeah, where’ve you been, Soviet Russia?
I started a new job with the Federal government a little over a month ago. On the day before Christmas eve, I drove back from northern Illinois to Florida where my wife is in the Navy. Then on Monday this week, I drove from Florida to Oklahoma City where I’ll be taking a few work related classes. It’s all kept me pretty busy.
So you WERE in Soviet Russia!
You’d know if you became his Facebook friend. Just sayin.
It’s an assumption that the date is Denise and Tom’s wedding date. It could instead be the day that they were killed in a car crash. The picture closest to us even shows the road where they died stretching off into the distant hills. A very touching memorial if you ask me. (In Soviet Russia, memorial touches you.)
I feel the need to Google “custom made tiffany sale chandeliers” to see how much one of these puppies cost!
Looks like something you would find hanging over a pool table in a bar.
Denise ‘n’ Tom’s Saloon, established August 1990 Ish,
Denise ‘n’ Tom’s Saloon moved from Ish to Kinda Sorta in the late 1990s. This lamp was made to commemorate the move.
The road to hell is paved with sunshine and bells.
This thing is just hideous. Obviously the creator woke from a 25 year coma to create it, because it just screams mid-70’s.
‘Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.’—Mark Twain
Good man, that.
In Soviet Russia, hell paves road to you.
It was nice of the “artisan” who made this lamp to include a rendering of the road to hell on it for clarity sake.
Those are my parent’s names. That’s funny. Missed the wedding date by decades.
The truly dedicated lighting fixture purchaser will be willing to change his or her name, the name of his or her spouse, and their wedding date.
I mean, come on, it’s Tiffany-style people, have some respect.
That doesn’t look like Tiffany to me. I know for sure I wouldn’t eat my breakfast at it, for example.
With or without Holly Golightly!
I don’t think the security guys there would let you in the door with it, either.
Something tells me Tom bought this for Denise thinking she’d love it. Denise, being a woman of taste and elegance, sees it and immediately demands a divorce.
Having looked at this earlier in the day and then come back to it now, a few thoughts:
This was made for/given to Tom/Denise by a friend or relative who they could not afford to/stand to offend by giving it away (though clearly that person never visited to observe that they have never put it up).
That person is now incapacitated/dead.
They now feel free to sell it.
Or:
Neither of them liked it, but per above, they didn’t feel they could get rid of it.
They’re getting divorced.
Tom is getting taken to the cleaners/Denise is getting what she deserves, depending on your POV, and one or the other is selling it in the occasion of splitting the marital estate.
Neither of these things (or any other reason I can think of) excuses the lameness of not pointing out what the chain is not-so-effectively hiding – their names and a date (wedding or other).
Final observation: Man, that’s fug.
Of course it was never used and is brand new; it’s butt ugly. The only possible reason to pay $40 (or anything at all) for it would be as a collector of the ugliest things ever made. I used to have a garage full of that stuff but then I left him.
I’d pay money so I could smash it.
I’m here to see the lamp.
Oh great, it’s right over here.
I like the sunset and the road and the roses…
Yeah, great huh?
What’s under the chain?
Oh, more of the same. You know, roses, flowers, um, a hill…
Can I take a look?
Um, it’s pretty much the same on all the sides. I really got to pick up my kid at school here in a minute…
It’s Sunday.
Yeah, right. Um How about $30 and we call it even?
I’d really like to see the other side…
Tell you what, I’ll take $20.
Who are Denise and Tom?
Alright, $10 and I’ll throw in this Lion Tapestry…
Um, that’s a Tiger…
it would have been such great fun to just smash that thing, and leave it in the dustbin of their marriage………it would be worth 40 bucks, denise, to just take a hammer and have a go at it. its only a chanderlier, and you could do it outside, and then put all teh pieces in a big garbage bag. think about it!
Other than it being ugly, commemorates some date significant to Denise and Tom, and is bad imitation Tiffany, it’s a steal at $40. Unfortunately I seem to have left my checkbook in my Saturday pajamas or else I’d grab it (and then hide it from my wife).