YSaC, Vol. 645: Wait … how many sides does a vampire have?

2010 April 23

OCTAGON END TABLE – $15


OCTAGON END TABLE. ACTUALLY HAVE 2. 1 SHOWN IS GREAT CONDITION, THE OTHER IS GOOD CONDITION. ASKING 15 EACH. BOTH ARE MADE WITH DOORS ON THE UNDERNEATH FOR STORAGE. IF INTERESTED PLEASE CALL xxx xxx xxxx. THANK YOU

Ah, yes. The hypothesized octagon end table — the logical counterpart to the hexagonal poker table topper. Apparently the principle of the conservation of drawers also applies to table sides.

Whatever shall we put on our octagon end table, or in the storage underneath?

Fictional Books for sale!!! – $20


Marked, Wicked, Uninvited, Eragon, and Vampire Kisses 1&2, i read them and don’t want them anymore but they were awesome reads
going for $20 all together or $1.50

If you’re tired of reading all of those books that actually exist, why not try reading fictional books? Fictional books — possibly guaranteed to not actually exist!

Unfortunately for the state of literature today, I’m pretty sure that these aren’t fictional books.

What is fictional is the grasp of math: I’m relatively certain that 6 * $1.50 does not equal $20. Unless vampire currency has been devalued recently, and she’s allowing for the current exchange rate.

Yes, our octagon table is shaping up nicely, what with the eight sides and fictional books to place on top. But we’ll need an appropriate lamp to not read by — one that isn’t too bright, so as not to scare the vampires away!

ELEPHANT LAMP


It looks like a depressed hemophiliac child finger-painted all over it.

That should keep the fictional vampires happy!

Thanks to Jocelyn, Mel, and Tanshin for the ads!

147 Responses leave one →
  1. 2010 April 23
    Windrose permalink

    I’m wondering where they found a depressed hemophiliac child in order to recognize fingerpaintings by said child. Perhaps they put an ad on CL?

    Happy Friday, people!

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 April 23
      Taco Fingers permalink

      I think that posting is ENTIRELY off base.

      It’s obviously painted by a bipolar hydrocephalic child and not a depressed hemophiliac.

      It’s just as easy to get these things right.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 April 24

        I think the poster just means the lamp is besmeared with the blood of the innocent.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      I would be tempted to purchase the revolting lamp purely because of the seller’s refreshing honesty, but then I would be dooming myself to a lifetime of nightmares. And possibly a haunting of some sort, if that really is some poor child’s blood.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 April 23
        Lola permalink

        I’m thinking the OP was neither the purchaser nor proud owner of the lamp (breakup, anyone?) and so they just wanted to get rid of it; instead of pretending it’s good when it isn’t, they just went for the camp/hipster selling angle. If they do that right = bidding war!

        Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23

        Don’t worry, the marks on it are red. Dried blood on paper or cloth isn’t red, it’s brown.
        I’ve injured myself enough times to know this ^_^;

        Adores: 5
  2. 2010 April 23
    Sexy Magic permalink

    You know, I’d always wondered what happened to The Doors after they broke up. Apparently they make a nice octohexagon when varnished properly.

    Adores: 7
    • 2010 April 23
      kireina permalink

      Taco, you should add conservation of drawers to your Seussian YSaC pursuits. 🙂

      Adores: 0
  3. 2010 April 23
    Bacontini permalink

    Well hello dere Octagon table. You know Bacontini, he like de women wit de obtuse angles. Dey give Bacontini more to love. Yes, de more obtuse your angles, de more Bacontini love you.

    Yes, Bacontini in love wit de obtuse angel he see here.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 April 23
      Lola permalink

      Bacontini, Topper better not hear you said that! 8)

      My parents have that end table, and they are getting rid of things in order to move. They know how to count, otherwise I’d suspect that camera angle was definitely my mother at work, even so … MOM! Step AWAY from the CRAIGSLIST!
      … ahem. Sorry for shouting, as you were, then.

      Yeah, the last one gets a “possibly awesome” tag for the description. What really makes it even more possibly awesome is how nicely it will go with the not.a.lion rug, paintings, medallions, etc.

      As for the fictional books … it makes me sad that they actually exist.

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23
        Topper permalink

        Don’t worry, dear – he’s all talk. Bacontini knows if he ever tried anything, I’d have his teabags for poker chips.

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 April 23
          Bacontini permalink

          Well, you do have more of de obtuse angles den she does. Bacontini learning to appreciate what he have.

          Of course, wit both of you Bacontini’d have 14 obtuse angles.

          Bacontini only saying.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23
          Topper permalink

          Well, your birthday is coming up…

          I’ll think about it. But no pictures this time.

          Adores: 4
      • 2010 April 23
        CapnMac permalink

        Lo, it is the state of the world today, I fear share similar worries that that are too many “decorator” books out there, only they have words in them and get listed on the NTYBSL and are made into equally vapid high-grossing [entendre sig.] h’wood movies.

        O that we could invest soi disant H’wood
        As a modern-day harfleur
        Storm-ed in righteous justice raised a Breech
        And to the Breech, ag’in or wall it up wi’ our “English (lit)” dead.
        In time of Peace naught so beguiles as quiet modesty
        But, with the antics of Paris et all, let the blood rise
        as stiffen the contenance into that of the Not.A.Lion!
        Loose! Loose Mars’ hounds and let them slake their lusts
        And our Ire in the wretched decadent preening coxcombs!

        Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 24

        My parents had that exact same end table, except that the accordion was on the left.

        Adores: 7
    • 2010 April 23

      I was going to point out to Ta… er, I mean Bacontini, that the the angles/angels are acute and not obtuse but then I realized that this was probably part of the joke, and I didn’t want to again be the one whose always pointing out deliberate errors like that……….

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23
        Taco Fingers permalink

        Either that’s a subtle joke in itself JG, or we’re going to need a little extra geometry this morning.

        Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23

          It’s a multiply subtle/unsubtle joke including the misuse of the word “whose”, and trying to introduce the concept of the negative corey at the same time.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          I had thought as much, but it was a little too dry for my sarcasm detector. I’ll have to go get it calibrated.

          Carry on.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23

          Phew….. he bought it.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Lola permalink

          JG, an Adores for the concept of the “Negative Corey.” And, if I could, another for the puppies in your avatar, because they never cease to encuten* me.

          *What? It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

          Adores: 7
      • 2010 April 23

        You didn’t feel the need for a corey credit? Are you sure? You haven’t had one for a while you know.

        Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 23

      *big doe eyes*
      But, Bacontini, you said…you said you like women with curves! Now that Octavia’s come along, it’s all about angles now?

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23
        Bacontini permalink

        Well uh… dat is to say… um…

        Well, de curves have… uh… 360º worth of de angles. Yeah, dat’s right! So uh, dey are very obtuse… which de Bacontini like. So, Bacontini love de curves and de angles because dey are all obtuse.

        Bacontini as always is here for de curvy and angular ladies.

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          I’ve heard it all before, Bacontini. Pre-Algebra told me all about you.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23
          Topper permalink

          He’ll just break your heart, sweetie. Just look at me; I’m a shadow of the gaming accessory I once was.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 April 23

          Shall we *ahem* turn the tables on him?

          Adores: 7
  4. 2010 April 23
    Hartster permalink

    The first poster sounds like a math problem in my country. “If an octagon table in great condition has six sides, how many sides does an octagon table have if it’s just in good condition?”

    It was actually a trick question, because as everybody knows (and the guvmint is always telling us), EVERYTHING IN BORDURIA IS IN EXCELLENT CONDITION, COMRADE!

    Subsequently, the following year we had a new math instructor and a revised question: “The poor people of Syldavia, exploited by the government, once had an excellent octagon table with eight sides. Though the father of a family has to work three jobs and 100 hours a week, he cannot afford to replace his beloved table and now it is in great condition, with just six sides. Given the present and expected economic conditions in Syldavia, factoring in a bad wheat crop, how many sides will the octagon table have when it’s just in good condition?”

    Adores: 21
    • 2010 April 23
      Taco Fingers permalink

      In Soviet Russia, octagon six you!

      Adores: 12
      • 2010 April 23
        Lola permalink

        In Soviet Russia, octagon deep-sixes you.

        Adores: 12
        • 2010 April 23
          Hartster permalink

          Borduria has to the biggest, the boldest and the best. Following a tour of Washington, DC, they decided their military headquarters should have more than five sides, and built a building with nine sides. Everything was fine, until they realized that the English translation of their building was “Nonagon”.

          To this date it’s still punishable with 90 days in jail to chortle, laugh, or even smile within six meters of the place. That, and the weather would explain why everyone is so dour.

          Adores: 13
        • 2010 April 23
          Lola permalink

          Hartster, do you still reside in Borduria, risking everything to snark freely on YSAC, or have you sought asylum elsewhere?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23
          camille permalink

          A nonagon – the perfect place to keep our collection of not.a.lions, not.a.lionels, and broken catulators!

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 April 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Were there any Justice, the Nonagon would be on Kuldesac, and the sole, terminal, address thereupon.

          Oh, and also at the craggy summit of a great hill as well.

          Adores: 2
  5. 2010 April 23
    A. Lion permalink

    Just my luck. I was looking for a six-sided *square* end table (preferably, 2 X 3) with doors on the underneath.

    Adores: 12
    • 2010 April 23
      Grampdaddy permalink

      You are definitely in luck. If you buy both Octy-Hexa-Square tables, you can combine the tops into one Octo and one square table. Adding an extra set of doors from one set of the tables to the other will give you some shelves that you can place your fictional books on, and then you’ll have enough money left over to buy the lamp that you can put inside the table with no doors….I think that works, let me check it with my catulator:

      *pounding furiously on catulator paws – 6-sided octagon divided by number of non-pages in fictional book… square the number of doors and multiply by vampires in the closet, then subtract the number of vampires out of the closet. Pour into an ungreased 7×5 square pan and bake at 375 for minus elebenty minutes, or until a Bacontini will float above the crust (you must use a crusty Bacontini or it will asplode). Be sure to upgrade your catulator kibble before attempting these catulations otherwise grievous errors resulting in speeling erorors mai reslut in defective TacoBoxes.*

      Yup, no question about it – the catmath is perfect.

      Adores: 15
      • 2010 April 23

        very nice try there, but you forgot to carry the tuna sammich. did you forget to put in fresh kibbles? I always do that *sigh*

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Darn, and I had it plugged into a fresh litter box – thought I was all set.

          Sammiches – Bacontini on rye…

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23

          You see, that’s where you went wrong. You can’t do Cat Math without the sammiches. In fact you can’t do most things without sammiches, just ask drmk.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          OK – drmk, can you do anything without sammiches?

          By the way, putting Bacontini on rye makes it kosher.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 24

          Sammiches.

          *nods wisely*

          Adores: 6
  6. 2010 April 23
    Not.A.Commenter. permalink

    How did Eragon end up with all those vampire books? It’s actually a good series…

    Literary criticism aside, I suppose the Law of Conservation of Drawers means that somewhere out there there’s an octagonal table in excellent condition with 10 sides.

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 23
      PrincessLuceval permalink

      In cat math, you might have to carry the one (droor).

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 April 23
      Taco Fingers permalink

      How did Eragon end up with all those vampire books? It’s actually a good series…

      Must… be… nice… to… others…

      *Tacosplode!*

      Adores: 13
      • 2010 April 23
        camille permalink

        This is getting to be a daily occurrence. Taco should move into that studio in the volcano, where his explosions would go unnoticed amidst the eruptions.

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          That’s what she said.

          Eh? Eeeeeh?

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 April 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Or, perhpas we could recommend changing from crispy fried (minty) shells, to soft tortillas fresh from comal or griddle?

          Forsooth what is this that stikes my eyes so?
          Is it the East, or Venus, or e’en Julie from next door?
          Alas, no, is yet more taco Shell.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          Never an octagon nor a pentagon be,
          For octagon oft loses both it’s sides and angles,
          And pentagons grow the sides lost.
          This above all: to thine own shape be true.

          (Thought I’d ‘help’ out there CM)

          Adores: 15
        • 2010 April 23
          Meredith permalink

          Actually, Taco, that IS what I said, right after I read camille’s comment.

          And can we not discuss Taco’s eruptions, please? Although he has been awfully ‘splody lately.

          Adores: 9
        • 2010 April 23
          sarajean80 permalink

          Well, he is TacoMagic, most of the time. All that Mexican food does things to you after a while. Unpleasant things.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          Tell me about it. I had 3 chili cheese burritos for dinner last night and…

          Wait. I’m thinking SJ wasn’t actually asking me to share an anecdote about Mexican food. Never mind.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23

          I think it’s the change of name Meredith, he’s only been so ‘splody since he added his fingers

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23

          That sombrero’s only funny one day out of the week, Sarajean, not 5.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Well, TF, that posy went well–I was sore afraid wooden doors in missing drawers might be invoked, as we passed through adores to another adimensions

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Meej permalink

          Dev – given what he types with sometimes, maybe it should be “TacoForks”?

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23

          very good point meej, Taco Forks would fit very well indeed.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23
          CapnMac permalink

          Wouldn’t Sporks be more useful?

          Make a hip band name, Taco Sporks.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          “What light through yonder window breaks,
          Is it some yeast? Or just a f*’ing elephant lamp”

          or perhaps:
          “Alas, poor Yorick – I knew his octo-hex”

          Adores: 3
  7. 2010 April 23

    *whips out awesome catulator with built in algorithms*

    Let’s see, take one octagon-sided hexagon table, add $20 worth of buck-and-a-half books, divide by one elephant lamp….

    …carry the nine, add the unblublublerers, subtract tacosplody….

    *shakes catulator*

    Grr….

    *scratches head, shakes catulator again*

    Oh, duh!! I forgot to switch from the french prudential mode…

    *flicks ear of catulator, avoids sharp-clawed swipe in response*

    There…okay the answer is…

    …. two lavender lacawates valtrus-sukas

    Sigh, I need three…because I have one now and really, what is the point..

    Adores: 23
    • 2010 April 23
      Meredith permalink

      ADORE!

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 23

      Our resident Cath Math God strikes again. +elebinty!!

      Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23

        *waves catulator to adoring fans*

        Why thank you, but I couldn’t have done it without the little kitties…and the kibbles, let’s not forget the kibbles…

        Adores: 3
  8. 2010 April 23
    LimeLolly permalink

    The eight sides of a vampire named Picasso. Good read, all six books for $20 or $1.50 each.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2010 April 23

    I had that “octogon” table!!! But I got rid of it on FreeCycle. $15 is too much.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 23
      Meredith permalink

      I had two! Left them in the apartment when I moved. FreeCylce was too much.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 April 23
        sarajean80 permalink

        My Grandma had two of them, once upon a time. I’ve seen them in just about every thrift store I’ve been to, in various conditions.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Lola permalink

          My parents got rid of theirs only recently. They were almost 30 years old and still had the same smell inside as when they were new.
          When we first got them, we kept records in them! Yeah, that was a while ago.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23

          My parents still have two. They keep their yearbooks and phonebooks in there. And VHS tapes.

          Adores: 1
      • 2010 April 23

        My parents had 1 and kept albums in it. My mom got it in the divorce (1969) and had it up until she moved out of her house (1995 or 1996). I wonder if it’s in storage or if my brother got it. Darn photo made me want hers.

        Adores: 1
  10. 2010 April 23
    Ellipses permalink

    Oh! My! No, no, no, you have it all wrong! You don’t understand what a breakthrough this is! Don’t you see that these people have accidentally posted from an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE where oct- is the prefix for six-sided things and where all those books don’t actually exist? (Obviously there is also a subculture of people there who, as a hobby, collect fictional things.) The walls of reality are thinning, my friends! Is this an opportunity for learning more about the nature of our universe? Or is it a portent of further chaos to come…?! Only time will tell!

    Adores: 14
    • 2010 April 23
      sarajean80 permalink

      If there is an alternate univere where Eragon does not exist, I want to visit that utopia.

      Adores: 11
      • 2010 April 23
        Taco Fingers permalink

        You and me both sister.

        One of the few series I’ve read where the only likable characters were the ones we were supposed to hate.

        By the end of the first book I found myself rooting for evil.

        Adores: 7
      • 2010 April 23
        Ellipses permalink

        Oh, I don’t know. It’s rather fun to make fun of, at least. Just think, the people of that universe must find other outlets for snark! (Not that there is likely to be a shortage of those in any universe…)

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          I have trans-universal snark myself.

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 23

          Well, they were written by a 17 yr old nerd with no friends and a 6 yr old’s imagination.
          I did not just bring Twilight into this conversation, that was all your own thoughts.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          Arrgggghhh I’ve been mobius stripped!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          People strip to Moby?
          Pics or it didn’t happen.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          Agreed! TF, site your source.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Bacontini permalink

          *Takes his bacon out of his glass*

          “Bacontini see himself in de pouring home…”

          *Skims the grease off his surface*

          “Bacontini see de light come over now…”

          *Wipes the fat off his rim…*

          “Bacontini see Bacontini in de pouring rain…”

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          *Bacontini watches as we point and laugh from inside log cabin with roaring fire and that warm, fuzzy loving feeling, all wearing matching YSaC shirts, drinking hot chocolate out of YSaC mugs*

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23

          Not.A.Lion. shirts and Llamanun mugs right? I can’t afford any new ones right now and I already have those.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Topper permalink

          *sigh*

          This is why I can’t have friends over. He has more than one of himself and the garnishes go a-flyin’.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 23
      DontTryThisAtHome permalink

      Note: potential corey…
      Actually, I think this poster may have a special skill: the ability to perceive 4 or more dimensions. It is quite conceivable that this table is, actually, an octagon in 4 dimensions, but loses a couple of sides when viewed through our limited 3 dimensional perception. /potential corey>

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 April 23
        Meredith permalink

        uhhhh….say whaaaa? Head too full of self-pity to comprehend. Please explain in cheese and sammiches, thank you.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          The sad thing is, I could probably come up with a coherant explination using cheese and sammiches that would still leave you in your current state.

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 23
        Taco Fingers permalink

        You’re taking me back to the lecture I attended on 4D spheres. For some reason it grows doughnuts as it passes through our plane.

        Mmmm doughnuts…

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 23

          I thought a 4D sphere passing through a 3D space would be observed as a sphere just as a sphere passing through a 2D space is observed as a circle with both of them appearing as points and then disappearing……. god help me I can’t stop today…..

          Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 23
        Ten permalink

        I was tempted to dive in here and waffle on about the 4th dimension, corey credit be damned, but I’ve totally lost my train of though and now all I can think of is sammiches.

        I may be ill.

        This is very worrying

        Adores: 7
        • 2010 April 23

          Well now all the rest of us can think of is waffles. And David Tennant. With waffles. On him. Sammiched between waffles.
          Dangit.

          Adores: 6
        • 2010 April 23

          don’t forget the syrup………

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          Ooh you are develish, aren’t you?

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23

          when it comes to him…….Oh Yes!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23

          Too bad he’s not Belgian, then there’d be enough for both of us.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23

          and of course now I’m thinking Belgian chocolate, as in chocolate sauce, as in smothering……..

          I’m going to expect you to cover the cost of the new keyboard I”ll be needing after all this drooling you know.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          Whatever you do, don’t imagine him bringing you fresh frenchfries and a chocolate shake.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 April 23

          why would I? I have a man sitting in the other room who can do that for me.

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          I think I’m just really hungry, actually.

          Has anyone seen my mouse, I could have sworn it was right here just a moment ago…

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 April 23
          sarajean80 permalink

          I have a sudden craving for Belgian waffles with chocolate syrup.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23

          I have strawberry waffles in the freezer and Dr.Who DVDs in a cabinet. You people are tempting me to get both out.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Lost me at the ‘sparkly vampires’…..

          *Oooh look, glittery drawers!*

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          Silva – sorry but I’m stuck thinking plain waffles + DT + chocolate sauce, although I think strawberry might work too.

          Grampdaddy – if we lost you at “sparkly vampires” please do not worry, if you are inexperienced with regards to said abominations, this is something you should be eternally grateful for.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Grampdaddy permalink

          Dev, maybe not so much ‘lost’ as mentally ‘wandered off’ in pursuit of the image of sparkly vampires – you know, glittery things and all that….

          Do vampires get Bedazzled??

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 23

          ah…..I was forgetting you’re a fellow lover of shiny things.

          As for bedazzled vampires, I’m not sure I can cope with that thought, not after this much wine.

          Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 23
      CapnMac permalink

      Omens and portents, sounds and Furies loosed, and then exeunt
      Wasted ‘pon idiots, signifying nothing.

      At least nae hags are we; if driven, too oft to Portia’s dement

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 23

        I have this feeling my name was in there somewhere, but I’m very confused.

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          I read it as furries the first pass.

          Still thought of you though, HHNF.

          Adores: 7
        • 2010 April 23

          I’ll never live down the squirrel costume, will I? it was my crowning moment.

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 23

          nope, never.

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23

          There was a poor guy outside my building the other day going through the dumpster. I thought, how embarrassing for him. So I bought him a raccoon costume. Surprisingly, he wouldn’t take it.

          Adores: 10
        • 2010 April 23
          Taco Fingers permalink

          I think the picture of you netting GrahamT kinda clinched it.

          But if you want to switch things up I’ll trade it back for my chipmunk costume. I feel as though I’m in a rut. There are only so many acorns you can store for the winter before you realize that you’re just perpetuating a stereotype.

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 23

        Sigh…I love it when you speak Billy….

        Adores: 3
        • 2010 April 24
          CapnMac permalink

          Cj, which “you” and which “Billy” pray tell?
          Ozarkian or Bardic or lingua de chevres?

          Adores: 0
        • 2010 April 24

          You Capn and Billy aka William S.

          Adores: 0
  11. 2010 April 23
    CapnMac permalink

    Ok, while waiting on coffee there were several bright flashes and dimensional porta;s may (or may not) have appear-ed, adn Wolfie-baby ‘splaind the book-math to me.

    The speel-chekr rendered it as $20 all together or $1.50

    But, it was $20 tutti giustu $1.50 bibli rubato

    Or, in 3D English, if you overlook the stripped covers and questionalbe heritage, you can steal a pile for $9; but if you want a provenance better than Dion Juan Nothos, it’ll cost’ya extry

    Adores: 0
  12. 2010 April 23
    Rhonda permalink

    The poster didn’t say the books were $1.50 EACH. Just $20 or $1.50. I choose $1.50 for the whole lot.

    Adores: 4
  13. 2010 April 23

    Wicked, Marked Eragon.
    On 2 by 3 square table-shaped octagon.
    Opens vampire doors and kisses books.
    Both fictional
    And Uninvited.

    And Eragon doth becomes riled.
    Donning finger of hemophiliac child.
    Paints depressed lamps and sees elephants.
    Both fictional
    And uninvited.

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 April 23

      why am I suddenly thinking of Dumbo’s drunken elephant hallucinations?

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 23
        sarajean80 permalink

        I wasn’t but now I am.

        Adores: 4
      • 2010 April 23
        CapnMac permalink

        And now I have an image of a pachyderm-sized paxil tab (and the probable required delivery route).

        At least i no longer crave a taco plate.

        Adores: 1
  14. 2010 April 23
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    “1 SHOWN IS GREAT CONDITION, THE OTHER IS GOOD CONDITION. ”

    Great condition? It’ s missing two f#%king sides. What is the “Good Conditon” one? A square? A triangle? Who wants a triangle end table? No one, that’s who.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 April 23
      Taco Fingers permalink

      *Hides his triangular end table*

      Yeah, who’d ever want one of those.

      Adores: 2
      • 2010 April 23

        Triangular is out, Taco. Didn’t you know? Chiliagonal’s all the rage!

        Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 23
          Bianchi Sound permalink

          I like my chiliagon with onionagons and cheddaragons!

          Adores: 5
        • 2010 April 24

          I like to play goudaungeons and cheddaragons!

          Adores: 1
        • 2010 April 24

          What about Parcheesey? I have the special Gorgonzola edition.

          Adores: 0
    • 2010 April 23

      Erm, Bianchi my dear, have you been doing a Taco with the coffee today? Is it time to move to decaf perhaps?

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 April 23
        Taco Fingers permalink

        Blasphemy!

        *Snort*

        I can stop any time I want! Don’t judge me!

        Adores: 5
      • 2010 April 23

        Decaf is a myth, anyway. A certain walrus busted it shortly after the myth pictured in the not-so-huge linkety-link.

        Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 23
      Meej permalink

      And why, if they’re notably different conditions (and, presumably number of sides), are they the same d4#m price?

      Adores: 0
  15. 2010 April 23
    tigprincess permalink

    Just thanks to you all for making me snort and smile whilst stuck in hospital its good to have ephemeral mindmates (like soul mates but with wit and snark ..as well as souls and hearts and rinds)

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 23

      Are we seedless, as well?

      Adores: 2
    • 2010 April 23

      Awww, Not.A.Lion.Princess! We’re here, 7 days a week, usually because we’ve alienated everyone we know IRL with our skewed view of the world. Orrrrrrrrrr….because we are avoiding work, not saying I’m avoiding work..nosireebob..not me..huh-uh..

      Anywho…all kidding aside, here’s to your good health and its swift return!

      Adores: 6
    • 2010 April 23
      Lola permalink

      Aw tig! I hope everything is nicely sorted and you are home soon.
      ((virtual hug)) *~*~* (virtual flowers)

      Adores: 1
  16. 2010 April 23
    tigprincess permalink

    Thanks everyone it makes lying back here thinking of England (St George’s Day) to get through the pain OK. Laughing helps and yes I’m post-op so heading up recovery road *pause whilst kittens mop their eyes for me* night night from UK

    Adores: 2
  17. 2010 April 23

    This table is nothing compared to “The Octagon” starring the delightful Charles Norris.

    The ’80s really were God’s chosen days.

    Adores: 1
  18. 2010 April 24
    Windrose permalink

    Friday just about took the last ounce of strength I have, and the last ounce of Heather Creme. But before I slid into peaceful slumber, I must get my puncher out of my taco box for Sue D. Nymme. Hey, is that your real name? 8) Punchity Punch Punch!

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 April 24

      Windrose, lacking any meaningful context, I can freely observe that your post is objectively saturated in carnal innuendo.

      It’s even better if you weren’t trying.

      Adores: 0

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