YSaC, Vol. 1769: Federal Burrow of Investigation

2014 October 15

Free burrow pick up only

Free burrow all wood it’s in good condition nothing is broken as far as drawers or anything just needs cosmetic work just sanding, painted and new drawer handles. First person to respond gets it only serious people please respond.

Hello. I am a very serious person. I would like to pick up your all wood burrow. However, I am confused. A “burrow” is a hole, is it not? It is difficult to pick up an absence of thing. For that matter, how do you know the hole is an absence of wood? It could be an absence of molybdenum, or cheddar cheese. This is important to me, because I am a serious person.

Of course, you could have just misspelled “burro.” Are you selling a donkey? Because I don’t think I want to try sanding a donkey. That would be insufficiently serious.

Thank you for this serious post, Christine!

YSaC, Vol. 1768: And the dog goes…

2014 October 13

Sometimes, the crazy on Craigslist inspires us to write long, detailed, lovingly crafted operas, movie scripts, or children’s books. And sometimes, it just inspires us to back away slowly, gibbering.

new to taxidermy need big dog

looking for a new taxidermy project looking for a large female dog will pay 40 the fresher the dog the better not looking for a living dogs need by Oct. 11 I can pick up sometime in the morning if you’re in [location]


(Thanks, Ellen.)

YSaC, Vol. 1767: Tear me down

2014 October 10

Demo guys needed commercial

Demo guys
I’m looking for demo guys that kill themselves no posers I’m only looking for the 1% 0f guys that give you 10 hrs work in a 8 hr day this is what I need .Do not bullshit me you will be fired the first day
I am looking for the guys that want to work not feed a habit if you cannot lift at least 80 lbs on a regular basis beat it I’m sick of guys that say they can work and bitch and moan fuck you my team works hard and is a close nit bunch If you talk to much this crew is not for you we don’t speak we work no fat guys no drugs no bullshit drama with I don’t have a ride don’t have a hard hat don’t have boots fuck off this is real world if you want it work for it good … it will not be handed to you this is the military type job if you think you got what it takes reply

I think I see why you have such a high turnover problem here, Sparky McBossypants. If you keep hiring guys that kill themselves, that may be why they don’t last too long in your “close nit bunch.” Or they may just not like all the nits. Plus, you have to spend so much time picking the nits. Do I want the lime nit, or the grape nit? Picking is hard. I prefer military type jobs, where I just get told which nits I want to pick.

Thanks for the ad, some guy!

YSaC, Vol. 1766: Al-bert, Al-bert, A-a-a-al-bert(sons)

2014 October 8

RARE Vintage Albertsons Albertson’s Plastic Bakery Bread Bag – $20

RARE vintage Albertsons Albertson’s plastic bakery bread freezer bag. Roughly 4″ x 12″. Used condition. I could not find another one anywhere on the Internet. These were meant to be thrown away, so to find one is rare. See pictures for condition and style.

Hey Sparky, I’ve got a tip for you: “meant to be thrown away” means “meant to be thrown away.”

Just so you know.

Thanks for the post, OMV!

YSaC, Vol. 1765: Light the grail-shaped beacon!

2014 October 6

Just to be different, we’re going to lead with the picture today, and then follow it with the ad:

That’s a blurry picture, but it’s not a terrible seeming bench. I wonder why it’s in the corner?

Naughty Pine Bench – $25

This bench is Naughty Pine. It is sturdy. Asking 25.00.

Oh. It’s naughty. Naughty, naughty bench. Stay in the corner!

(Thanks for the naughty bench, Jeff!)

YSaC, Vol. 1764: I’m too sexy for correct spelling

2014 October 3

Sexy woman at western [state] fair pink shirt – m4w

I seen u u smiled I asked how u was doing u walked off and I seen u look back while I was checking u out.im bald white guy with a green shirt on … Probably a long shot but u was very sexy so worth a shot… If this was u hit me up and tell me what I was doing when I seen u

So what do we think Mr. Clean here was doing when he seen her?

  • Picking fried butter out of his teeth?
  • Trying to pry off the GPS anklet?
  • Attempting to secure his party’s 2016 presidential nomination?
  • Yoga?

What do you think?

(Thanks for the post, OMV!)