YSaC, Vol. 1781: Of all the vodka joints, in all the towns…

2014 November 12
by Irregular Fractal


POCTOB BELHKTLI. A genuine ceramic tile with a glossy finish. This art tile has a picture of a temple I believe.  This was made to be used as a wall hanger or trivet. Wonderfully crafted and charming piece. 6 inches Wide X 12 inches tall… including metal frame


Last night we said a great many things. You said I was to do the cooking for both of us. Well, I’ve done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you’re getting on that plane with Vladimir where you belong.

But, Rostislav, no, I… I…

Now, you’ve got to listen to me! You have any idea what you’d have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we’d both wind up as sous chefs in a cheap Wolfgang Puck knockoff chain.

You’re saying this only to make me go.

I’m saying it because it’s true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Putin. You’re part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that soufflé hits the ground and you’re not with him to catch it, you’ll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

But what about us?

We’ll always have these burn scars on our fingertips.  It doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little short order cooks doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.  More of a small pile, really.  Like half a can.  Someday you’ll understand that.  Here’s looking at you, comrade.

спасибо, Rachel!


YSaC, Vol. 1780: Dracula Sells an iPhone

2014 November 10
by Irregular Fractal

iPhone 6 Plus 64GB for Note 4 – Sprint – $1


Looking to trade my flawless iPhone 6 Plus 64GB Gold in color for a Note 4 of any color. Sprint is the carrier and the ESN is clean. The phone comes with a clear case, box, and charger. The iPhone is in perfect condition so the Note 4 must be the same condition.

Seems perfectly reasonable, right?  Sparky was even kind enough to attach pictures of back and front, so that you can confirm the condition of the phone.

It could be that Sparky is in such a rush to trade this phone, that he just HAD to post this picture from the middle of the men’s restroom.  But let’s think a bit harder about this…  there seem to be some perfectly reasonable explanations for why one couldn’t use the mirrors in one’s own home for their big Craigslist posting:

  • still sitting shiva for for Joan Rivers
  • accidentally ended up hosting Dracula via AirBnB, woke up the next day with the worst hickey ever
  • couldn’t take any more of that creepy old “fairest of them all” guy obsessed with that underaged girl in the village
  • got rid of all the mirrors in the house after that really bad night at the Black Lodge

You’ve probably got an even more reasonable explanation down there in the comments.

Thanks for the post, sd!

YSaC, Vol. 1779: Fishin’ in the Dark

2014 November 7

Free light bulbs

condition: good
Check your Spam folder for reply. About 6 or 8 regular light bulbs free, all work but are not the new energy-efficient kind

Light bulbs? Light bulbs, you say?


*rubs eyes*

*looks again*

Nope, still not light bulbs.

Still, maybe I’ll finally have a use for this:

Free Fishwasher

Thanks, Ralph and Mackenzie!

YSaC, Vol. 1778: For sooth

2014 November 5

let an angel sing to you

let me express my dedication to my two home countries.
call me and i will sing either the American national anthem or Canadian national anthem to you.
i love my countries and would like to let you hear the voice of an angel sooth you on this beautiful labor day.

Oh hey – a national anthem post. I should totally use this for volume 1776.

Oh crap.

True fact – drmk and I go to a lot of amateur sporting events. At these events, amateur persons often sing the American and/or Canadian national anthems. 99 times out of 100 they are not even a LITTLE bit soothing. In fact, our friends have determined that far more entertaining than the actual performer is watching us twitch at each random modulation and botched intonation.

So I think, Sparky, you will NOT be hearing from us on the dial-an-anthem line any time soon. Unless you want to perform the honors for Johncageistan.

Thanks for the post, Greg!

YSaC, Vol. 1777: He’s not husky, he’s big boned.

2014 November 3

Large Dog Crate

Large doge crate, as new. $100.00 or best offer

Bought this a few months ago and it has never been used.

Fits a fully grown husky

So… this is a dog crate, right? And to use it, you put a dog into it, right? That’s how you use a dog crate, last time I checked. And this one has never been used – as in, no one has ever put a dog into it. Like that dog there. In the crate. Using the crate, as it were.

Sigh. So Craiglist. Much suck. Wow.

Thanks for the post, Michael!

YSaC, Vol. 1776: Cool, Cool… um?

2014 October 31

In honor of post number 1776, let’s pay tribute to America with this gem, which has nothing whatsoever to do with the Declaration of Independence in any way.

cooler – $10 – $1500

thermos cooler metal body at outside

Yep. Happy Fourth of July, everyone!

(Thanks for the post, JH!)