You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. 320: Ice cream does fix everything.

Written by

drmk

in

Elle, who was also responsible for the “Free blowdry and style” submission, sent this one in. It got flagged almost immediately, but luckily she’d taken a screenshot:

320

Click here for a larger version, and be confused for a while. The two pictures themselves are like those puzzles in Highlights magazines where you were supposed to spot the differences between the two pictures: The hair comb! The green thing! The white/grey square blob to the right of the pink thing just above his head! Find and collect them all!

Elle says, “I have so many questions. What/where is GUATSUSNAKE? Who is “HE”? Are they offering up an unemployed/retired person? A snake? Why did they include two almost-identical Photoshopped photos? Is that a mannequin? A dead body? Is there anything that ice cream doesn’t fix?

This may have put me off Craigslist forever.”

Here, I’ll save you the trouble — here’s a link to a Google search for “guatsusnake“. You’ll notice that nothing comes up. (I’m hoping the search engines will catch the word quickly enough that it will link back here by the time this post goes up!)

In other words: Nope, I’ve got nothing.

Comments

62 responses to “YSaC, Vol. 320: Ice cream does fix everything.”

  1. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    I’m disappointed that clicking on the picture doesn’t actually bring anything up. You tricked me! *shakes fist*

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      Sorry — it’s fixed now.

  2. autie Avatar
    autie

    Agree with Sarah, I want to see the bigger version of the picture. (my eyesight sucks)

  3. corn flakes Avatar
    corn flakes

    I wish more things were ice-cream powered. Besides GUATSUSNAKE and my girlfriend.

    I like that the google search says “Did you mean: goatsnake”
    Of course. I always mean goatsnake.

    1. jackie31337 Avatar
      jackie31337

      The best part is that there are not one, but TWO hits for goatsnake! Google has caught up with YSaC, though. It’s the first (and only) hit after the suggested alternate spellings.

      1. drmk Avatar
        drmk

        Yay! That was my hope. I wanted to be a Googlewhack for Guatsusnake. (Okay, technically a Googlewhack has to have two words, but … )

        1. Bridgete Avatar
          Bridgete

          Now that we have classic snark time…I’d like you to know that Google doesn’t even provide alternate spellings, it just brings up a bunch of YSaC pages and/or references to YSaC (yes, I re-googled to see).

        2. LurkRealClose Avatar
          LurkRealClose

          I did the same, and was also very pleased to see several YSaC pages and nothing else. 🙂

  4. Tisha_ Avatar
    Tisha_

    I can’t see the larger image either. Damnit! I need to find out what a GUATSUSNAKE is!

  5. Nick Avatar
    Nick

    Go directly to the image URL to see the bigger image:

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/320.jpg

  6. Amy H. Avatar
    Amy H.

    I think that picture is going to give me nightmares now…. It does kind of look like a dead body being swallowed up in a pile of garbage in someone’s shed. Great tip Nick, I just wish I hadn’t clicked on the link.

  7. cled Avatar
    cled

    Seems pretty clear to me. His wife has had enough. Just come pick him up and you can have this beautiful… um… fascinating… um… unique… um… ice cream-powered livingroom lounger for your very own.

  8. casualencounters.com/blog/ Avatar
    casualencounters.com/blog/

    At least they didn’t say “fried chicken” instead of ice cream.

  9. Ali Avatar
    Ali

    When I read GUATSUSNAKE I tried figuring it out like you’d figure out random license plate combos. I came up with some misspelling of “Gonna gets yous nake” – maybe implying this fabulous offering is for a man to get you naked?

  10. unfortunate names Avatar
    unfortunate names

    i am so confused!

  11. Monica Hamburg Avatar
    Monica Hamburg

    So grateful you have a “WTF?!” tag for these occasions

  12. Dr Saigon Avatar
    Dr Saigon

    they are referencing the fact that he is black, they’re racist.

    1. drmk Avatar
      drmk

      What?

    2. HellHathNoFury Avatar
      HellHathNoFury

      I didn’t hear any snark in that whatsoever. Foolish, pugnacious and downright rude. The only racists I know are people who always cry, ‘Racist’ at everyone.

      1. GrahamT Avatar
        GrahamT

        Racist! OH SHI-

  13. LurkRealClose Avatar
    LurkRealClose

    Did you mean: goatsnake
    a Googlewhack has been born
    all are still confused

    1. Addicted Reader Avatar
      Addicted Reader

      This alone makes revisiting old posts worth it – YSaC haiku!

  14. Addicted Reader Avatar
    Addicted Reader

    This is still confusing.

    Also, it’s weird to see a post with only 19 (now 20, I guess) comments. I’ve gotten so used to 200+ comments as a usual occurrence.

  15. LimeLolly Avatar
    LimeLolly

    In my 5 yr-old child’s world, ice cream and chocolate fixes everything. I hope this means I don’t have to start calling my child “Guatsusnake” now.

    P.S. I like this travel back in time.

    1. Bridgete Avatar
      Bridgete

      I’m pleased with the time travel as well. Also, I still haven’t read every single YSaC post so maybe one will come up that I somehow missed (although if it’s a classic or a favorite, perhaps not, I’ve read most of those).

  16. CoffDrop Avatar
    CoffDrop

    Nothing like a well-deserved sabbatical to recharge the o’l batteries. Bon voyage, and bees be upon you both……..

  17. christina Avatar
    christina

    *sniffs* Ah, the smell of classic snark. I dunno, commenting on these visits to the past kind of makes me feel like I’m vandalizing a historic monument or something. Get some well deserved rest, you crazy kids.

    1. SilvaNoir Avatar
      SilvaNoir

      Break out the vintage crisco!

  18. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    Good Morning, Snarkers! In stead of a tree this year, I got us this lovely guatsusnake! Let’s get out the lights and ornaments and make the place look cheery.

    1. sarajean80 Avatar
      sarajean80

      I’ve got some blinking lights that would look great, and a box of those icicle thingies that are really just tiny strips of mylar that will wrap around the vacuum cleaner brush for the next eight months. Mary Beesmas!

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        I was going to suggest that we use flocking, but it may not be safe for everyone here.

        1. Windrose Avatar
          Windrose

          Well, I know the cats are going to eat the mylar tinsel, and flocking isn’t safe from a sheep. But what the heck, it’s Beesmas! Put it all on.

        2. Astrognash Avatar
          Astrognash

          I was going to suggest that we use flocking,

          But slugs are so boooriiing!

        3. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          Time for the cats to make some sparkle-poop!

  19. Camille Avatar
    Camille

    I like the notion that racism explains this post. So if the man in the photograph were Caucasian, the ad would make perfect sense?

    I also like that someone appears to have drawn boots/mittens onto the feet in the photo on the left. Nothing like mittens to keep your feet warm.

    1. Laurelhach Avatar
      Laurelhach

      Maybe the man has opposable toes, so it makes perfect sense for him to wear mitten-socks. On the other foot hand, maybe the artist is just anatomically challenged.

      Also, FF does not think opposable is a word. I’m confused.

      1. Bridgete Avatar
        Bridgete

        The other day, Mr. Brazil and I discovered that Firefox doesn’t think licensure is a word. Due to Mr. Brazil’s ESL-ness, he thought I’d spelled it wrong (I was editing a professional email for him). I had to show him in the dictionary.

    2. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      I also like the olden days when the Llamanun made more appearances to the worshipers at Fatima and the 40 Watt. Bees Always Be Upon Her.

  20. Artsy Computer Geek Avatar
    Artsy Computer Geek

    I wonder why they “needed” him to begin with. I also wonder about the two pictures… does having a Christmas tree and a blue bow make him more appealing? I really don’t need anything else that sleeps all day and eats all my ice cream — I already have kids for that.

    While I’m rambling, since I’m commenting on something dated a year ago, does that mean that, for today at least, I’m a year younger?

    1. Astrognash Avatar
      Astrognash

      No, but as you travel through time, that clock in San Dimas is still running, so you keep aging.

      1. Windrose Avatar
        Windrose

        Doesn’t it go backwards though? Shirley there has to be a benefit to this trip.

        1. LurkRealClose Avatar
          LurkRealClose

          Bill and Ted reference FTW, and don’t call me Shirley.

  21. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    On the bright side, we can pretend that Graham T and HHNF are still regulars.

    I know, I know, Dan and drmk need their downtime, BBUT. And I echo christina, a national treasure that I am now smudging with my hashbrown greasy fingers.

    1. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      mmmm — hashbrowns.

      1. Smedley Avatar
        Smedley

        Homemade hashbrowns. Eggs sunny side up. And BACON!
        I have outdoor work to do today.

        1. sarajean80 Avatar
          sarajean80

          I had hashbrowns with onions this morning along with my chicken-fried steak and sausage cream gravy, scrambled eggs, and a fresh biscuit (also with sausage cream gravy). For lunch I’m having a heart attack.

  22. Bianchi Sound Avatar
    Bianchi Sound

    Ha ha ha. Everyone had such dumb hair and clothes in 2009.

    1. Astrognash Avatar
      Astrognash

      Hey! I still have some of my clothes from 2009!

      Well, mostly because they still fit and I could really care less about fashion trends as long as it’s comfortable and doesn’t hurt my eyes.

      1. SilvaNoir Avatar
        SilvaNoir

        I still have a few clothing items from highschool ( I graduated in 2000 )

        1. Bridgete Avatar
          Bridgete

          I still have a few clothing items from high school too, and I only graduated one year after you.

        2. Meej Avatar
          Meej

          Heck, I’ve still got a few clothing items from high school, and I graduated in 1992.

          Though granted, they’re things I rarely wore then, that my folks found in their closets while cleaning out their house (like my letter jacket from the X-C Ski Team).

      2. trinket Avatar
        trinket

        One year at Brownie day camp someone goofed and ordered adult sized t-shirts. So I still have (and wear) a t-shirt that I got when I was 6. Ok, so I only wear it to sleep in, but still.

    2. ArchedEyebrows Avatar
      ArchedEyebrows

      *harumph*

      I most certainly did not have dumb hair and clothes in 2009. I had exactly the same hair and clothes that I do now. Even the same nail polish. I fail to see the problem.

      Oh, wait…

  23. CapnMac Avatar
    CapnMac

    Have to get on the road presently; and the question of whether the pile of junk is ice cream powered, or that there is some robotoy pictured, or whether the figure shown is a mannikin or coproreal (with no bias towards life status), or even connected with the photo or ad at all, remains irresolved.

    All I can offer is a stab at

    guatsusnake

    If the leading “g” is not soft, and this is a derived word, then
    Ju + aht + sue + nah + kay

    Nope, got nothing.
    Maybe the last vowel is long
    guh + ahts + oose + nah + key

    Perhaps this is from Central America, then
    hooWHATs + ah + knock + eh

    But, who can know what goes through a spark’s head before being trashed by autocorrect on the borrowed phone? (One suspects that The Shadow is still in therapy for even a glimmer . . .)

    Adieu, mes amies

    1. Bridgete Avatar
      Bridgete

      Adieu? Are you leaving us forever?

      À bientôt! 😉

    2. Windrose Avatar
      Windrose

      This is exactly what the past needed, Cap’n Mac Explains Everything. 8)

  24. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    ‘Twas the night before Beesmas, and ALLLLLLL through the lounge,
    Not a creature was sober, not a full cup was found.
    And I in my feathers, all preened and in line,
    had just poured myself a flask full of wine.

    Take it away, Snarkers! 8)

    1. AndieJD Avatar
      AndieJD

      The presents were placed ‘neath the blue tarp with care
      In hopes that the Llamanun soon would be there.

      1. LimeLolly Avatar
        LimeLolly

        With Smedley in his watchcap and Windrose on the tree
        Andie danced round to a version of “Born Free”.

        The snarkers were dipping the Not.A.Lionel cheesehead
        While delusions of mine hores were rapidly spread.

  25. Smedley Avatar
    Smedley

    When up from the closet there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from my beanbag to see what’s the matter.

    And what to my blurry eyes did appear,
    A guatsusnake, flat-backed: he had too much cheer.

  26. Windrose Avatar
    Windrose

    I guess Lara may never learn that she was in the box today. However, here’s her Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Guatsusnake! (look, it’s listed as the location!)

  27. crappy name5 Avatar
    crappy name5

    when you do the google search now it brings up this weird “adolescence girls” link that has a weird mix of porn and random things from this site… fucking creepy.

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