YSaC, Vol. 320: Ice cream does fix everything.

2009 June 2
by drmk

Elle, who was also responsible for the “Free blowdry and style” submission, sent this one in. It got flagged almost immediately, but luckily she’d taken a screenshot:

320

Click here for a larger version, and be confused for a while. The two pictures themselves are like those puzzles in Highlights magazines where you were supposed to spot the differences between the two pictures: The hair comb! The green thing! The white/grey square blob to the right of the pink thing just above his head! Find and collect them all!

Elle says, “I have so many questions. What/where is GUATSUSNAKE? Who is “HE”? Are they offering up an unemployed/retired person? A snake? Why did they include two almost-identical Photoshopped photos? Is that a mannequin? A dead body? Is there anything that ice cream doesn’t fix?

This may have put me off Craigslist forever.”

Here, I’ll save you the trouble — here’s a link to a Google search for “guatsusnake“. You’ll notice that nothing comes up. (I’m hoping the search engines will catch the word quickly enough that it will link back here by the time this post goes up!)

In other words: Nope, I’ve got nothing.

62 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 June 2
    Sarah permalink

    I’m disappointed that clicking on the picture doesn’t actually bring anything up. You tricked me! *shakes fist*

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 June 2
      drmk permalink

      Sorry — it’s fixed now.

      Adores: 1
  2. 2009 June 2

    Agree with Sarah, I want to see the bigger version of the picture. (my eyesight sucks)

    Adores: 1
  3. 2009 June 2
    corn flakes permalink

    I wish more things were ice-cream powered. Besides GUATSUSNAKE and my girlfriend.

    I like that the google search says “Did you mean: goatsnake”
    Of course. I always mean goatsnake.

    Adores: 17
    • 2009 June 2
      jackie31337 permalink

      The best part is that there are not one, but TWO hits for goatsnake! Google has caught up with YSaC, though. It’s the first (and only) hit after the suggested alternate spellings.

      Adores: 3
      • 2009 June 2
        drmk permalink

        Yay! That was my hope. I wanted to be a Googlewhack for Guatsusnake. (Okay, technically a Googlewhack has to have two words, but … )

        Adores: 5
        • 2010 December 18

          Now that we have classic snark time…I’d like you to know that Google doesn’t even provide alternate spellings, it just brings up a bunch of YSaC pages and/or references to YSaC (yes, I re-googled to see).

          Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 19
          LurkRealClose permalink

          I did the same, and was also very pleased to see several YSaC pages and nothing else. 🙂

          Adores: 1
  4. 2009 June 2
    Tisha_ permalink

    I can’t see the larger image either. Damnit! I need to find out what a GUATSUSNAKE is!

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 June 2
    Nick permalink

    Go directly to the image URL to see the bigger image:

    http://www.yousuckatcraigslist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/320.jpg

    Adores: 1
  6. 2009 June 2

    I think that picture is going to give me nightmares now…. It does kind of look like a dead body being swallowed up in a pile of garbage in someone’s shed. Great tip Nick, I just wish I hadn’t clicked on the link.

    Adores: 1
  7. 2009 June 2
    cled permalink

    Seems pretty clear to me. His wife has had enough. Just come pick him up and you can have this beautiful… um… fascinating… um… unique… um… ice cream-powered livingroom lounger for your very own.

    Adores: 3
  8. 2009 June 2

    At least they didn’t say “fried chicken” instead of ice cream.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2009 June 2
    Ali permalink

    When I read GUATSUSNAKE I tried figuring it out like you’d figure out random license plate combos. I came up with some misspelling of “Gonna gets yous nake” – maybe implying this fabulous offering is for a man to get you naked?

    Adores: 2
  10. 2009 June 2

    i am so confused!

    Adores: 2
  11. 2009 June 2

    So grateful you have a “WTF?!” tag for these occasions

    Adores: 2
  12. 2010 March 15
    Dr Saigon permalink

    they are referencing the fact that he is black, they’re racist.

    Adores: 1
    • 2010 March 15

      What?

      Adores: 7
    • 2010 March 15

      I didn’t hear any snark in that whatsoever. Foolish, pugnacious and downright rude. The only racists I know are people who always cry, ‘Racist’ at everyone.

      Adores: 4
  13. 2010 July 16
    LurkRealClose permalink

    Did you mean: goatsnake
    a Googlewhack has been born
    all are still confused

    Adores: 8
    • 2010 December 19
      Addicted Reader permalink

      This alone makes revisiting old posts worth it – YSaC haiku!

      Adores: 0
  14. 2010 July 22
    Addicted Reader permalink

    This is still confusing.

    Also, it’s weird to see a post with only 19 (now 20, I guess) comments. I’ve gotten so used to 200+ comments as a usual occurrence.

    Adores: 6
  15. 2010 December 18
    LimeLolly permalink

    In my 5 yr-old child’s world, ice cream and chocolate fixes everything. I hope this means I don’t have to start calling my child “Guatsusnake” now.

    P.S. I like this travel back in time.

    Adores: 11
    • 2010 December 18

      I’m pleased with the time travel as well. Also, I still haven’t read every single YSaC post so maybe one will come up that I somehow missed (although if it’s a classic or a favorite, perhaps not, I’ve read most of those).

      Adores: 4
  16. 2010 December 18
    CoffDrop permalink

    Nothing like a well-deserved sabbatical to recharge the o’l batteries. Bon voyage, and bees be upon you both……..

    Adores: 8
  17. 2010 December 18

    *sniffs* Ah, the smell of classic snark. I dunno, commenting on these visits to the past kind of makes me feel like I’m vandalizing a historic monument or something. Get some well deserved rest, you crazy kids.

    Adores: 5
  18. 2010 December 18
    Windrose permalink

    Good Morning, Snarkers! In stead of a tree this year, I got us this lovely guatsusnake! Let’s get out the lights and ornaments and make the place look cheery.

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 December 18
      sarajean80 permalink

      I’ve got some blinking lights that would look great, and a box of those icicle thingies that are really just tiny strips of mylar that will wrap around the vacuum cleaner brush for the next eight months. Mary Beesmas!

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 18
        LimeLolly permalink

        I was going to suggest that we use flocking, but it may not be safe for everyone here.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 18
          Windrose permalink

          Well, I know the cats are going to eat the mylar tinsel, and flocking isn’t safe from a sheep. But what the heck, it’s Beesmas! Put it all on.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 18

          I was going to suggest that we use flocking,

          But slugs are so boooriiing!

          Adores: 3
        • 2010 December 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          Time for the cats to make some sparkle-poop!

          Adores: 5
  19. 2010 December 18
    Camille permalink

    I like the notion that racism explains this post. So if the man in the photograph were Caucasian, the ad would make perfect sense?

    I also like that someone appears to have drawn boots/mittens onto the feet in the photo on the left. Nothing like mittens to keep your feet warm.

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 18
      Laurelhach permalink

      Maybe the man has opposable toes, so it makes perfect sense for him to wear mitten-socks. On the other foot hand, maybe the artist is just anatomically challenged.

      Also, FF does not think opposable is a word. I’m confused.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 18

        The other day, Mr. Brazil and I discovered that Firefox doesn’t think licensure is a word. Due to Mr. Brazil’s ESL-ness, he thought I’d spelled it wrong (I was editing a professional email for him). I had to show him in the dictionary.

        Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 18
      Windrose permalink

      I also like the olden days when the Llamanun made more appearances to the worshipers at Fatima and the 40 Watt. Bees Always Be Upon Her.

      Adores: 4
  20. 2010 December 18
    Artsy Computer Geek permalink

    I wonder why they “needed” him to begin with. I also wonder about the two pictures… does having a Christmas tree and a blue bow make him more appealing? I really don’t need anything else that sleeps all day and eats all my ice cream — I already have kids for that.

    While I’m rambling, since I’m commenting on something dated a year ago, does that mean that, for today at least, I’m a year younger?

    Adores: 5
    • 2010 December 18

      No, but as you travel through time, that clock in San Dimas is still running, so you keep aging.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 18
        Windrose permalink

        Doesn’t it go backwards though? Shirley there has to be a benefit to this trip.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 19
          LurkRealClose permalink

          Bill and Ted reference FTW, and don’t call me Shirley.

          Adores: 0
  21. 2010 December 18

    On the bright side, we can pretend that Graham T and HHNF are still regulars.

    I know, I know, Dan and drmk need their downtime, BBUT. And I echo christina, a national treasure that I am now smudging with my hashbrown greasy fingers.

    Adores: 3
    • 2010 December 18
      Windrose permalink

      mmmm — hashbrowns.

      Adores: 0
      • 2010 December 18

        Homemade hashbrowns. Eggs sunny side up. And BACON!
        I have outdoor work to do today.

        Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 18
          sarajean80 permalink

          I had hashbrowns with onions this morning along with my chicken-fried steak and sausage cream gravy, scrambled eggs, and a fresh biscuit (also with sausage cream gravy). For lunch I’m having a heart attack.

          Adores: 8
  22. 2010 December 18
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    Ha ha ha. Everyone had such dumb hair and clothes in 2009.

    Adores: 9
    • 2010 December 18

      Hey! I still have some of my clothes from 2009!

      Well, mostly because they still fit and I could really care less about fashion trends as long as it’s comfortable and doesn’t hurt my eyes.

      Adores: 3
      • 2010 December 18

        I still have a few clothing items from highschool ( I graduated in 2000 )

        Adores: 4
        • 2010 December 18

          I still have a few clothing items from high school too, and I only graduated one year after you.

          Adores: 2
        • 2010 December 18
          Meej permalink

          Heck, I’ve still got a few clothing items from high school, and I graduated in 1992.

          Though granted, they’re things I rarely wore then, that my folks found in their closets while cleaning out their house (like my letter jacket from the X-C Ski Team).

          Adores: 2
      • 2010 December 19
        trinket permalink

        One year at Brownie day camp someone goofed and ordered adult sized t-shirts. So I still have (and wear) a t-shirt that I got when I was 6. Ok, so I only wear it to sleep in, but still.

        Adores: 2
    • 2010 December 18

      *harumph*

      I most certainly did not have dumb hair and clothes in 2009. I had exactly the same hair and clothes that I do now. Even the same nail polish. I fail to see the problem.

      Oh, wait…

      Adores: 3
  23. 2010 December 18
    CapnMac permalink

    Have to get on the road presently; and the question of whether the pile of junk is ice cream powered, or that there is some robotoy pictured, or whether the figure shown is a mannikin or coproreal (with no bias towards life status), or even connected with the photo or ad at all, remains irresolved.

    All I can offer is a stab at

    guatsusnake

    If the leading “g” is not soft, and this is a derived word, then
    Ju + aht + sue + nah + kay

    Nope, got nothing.
    Maybe the last vowel is long
    guh + ahts + oose + nah + key

    Perhaps this is from Central America, then
    hooWHATs + ah + knock + eh

    But, who can know what goes through a spark’s head before being trashed by autocorrect on the borrowed phone? (One suspects that The Shadow is still in therapy for even a glimmer . . .)

    Adieu, mes amies

    Adores: 2
    • 2010 December 18

      Adieu? Are you leaving us forever?

      À bientôt! 😉

      Adores: 1
    • 2010 December 18
      Windrose permalink

      This is exactly what the past needed, Cap’n Mac Explains Everything. 8)

      Adores: 4
  24. 2010 December 18
    Windrose permalink

    ‘Twas the night before Beesmas, and ALLLLLLL through the lounge,
    Not a creature was sober, not a full cup was found.
    And I in my feathers, all preened and in line,
    had just poured myself a flask full of wine.

    Take it away, Snarkers! 8)

    Adores: 4
    • 2010 December 19
      AndieJD permalink

      The presents were placed ‘neath the blue tarp with care
      In hopes that the Llamanun soon would be there.

      Adores: 4
      • 2010 December 19
        LimeLolly permalink

        With Smedley in his watchcap and Windrose on the tree
        Andie danced round to a version of “Born Free”.

        The snarkers were dipping the Not.A.Lionel cheesehead
        While delusions of mine hores were rapidly spread.

        Adores: 4
  25. 2010 December 19

    When up from the closet there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from my beanbag to see what’s the matter.

    And what to my blurry eyes did appear,
    A guatsusnake, flat-backed: he had too much cheer.

    Adores: 4
  26. 2010 December 19
    Windrose permalink

    I guess Lara may never learn that she was in the box today. However, here’s her Punchity Punch Punch!

    G’Night, Guatsusnake! (look, it’s listed as the location!)

    Adores: 3
  27. 2010 December 19
    crappy name5 permalink

    when you do the google search now it brings up this weird “adolescence girls” link that has a weird mix of porn and random things from this site… fucking creepy.

    Adores: 1

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