YSaC, Vol. 398: Preserving the sanctity of marriage!

2009 August 19

Lets get married tomorrow – 22

I decided tomorrow I want to get married, So any takers. Im attractive, not a psycho…well not completly:)- have a job, car, my own place, im very independent…i love sex and my husband will have to be able to keep up with me…ive never wanted to get married…ever. But life is pretty boring right now and i feel like if i get married at least its something exciting. So ur probably wondering if im all these great things why dont I have a man…ha I get asked that everytime i go on a first date. I always dread that question, but truth is once i sleep with the man i lose interest…stupidly. But i figure if im married, that means A this person is as spontaneous as I am, B I cant just walk away…and C hopefully he will satisfy me.
AND I dont want to get messages saying marriage is sacred I cant do this blah blah blah because to that i say bullshit. Anyone should be allowed to get married to who they choose and get married for whatever reasons they choose. I choose to marry a stranger because maybe that stranger is who im looking for.
I will send a photo if I recieve a photo…Im looking for someone thats between 21-33, attractive…obviously 🙂 Has their own place, job, ect. Someone who has his shit together but crazy enough to marry a stranger…
PS i dont cook!

Mandy sends this one in, saying:

“What a way to cure boredom… for a day.

My favorite part about this is that she doesn’t ever go past a first date because she loses interest once she sleeps with the man… at least we know she puts out on the first date.

Plus, if she gets bored with a guy after sleeping with him once, why not marry him, and be stuck being bored until they inevitably get divorced! That sounds like a fabulous idea!!

“Life is pretty boring right now.” I imagine her sitting around, thinking to herself, I am so bored tonight. What should I do? Take a walk? See a movie? Have a picnic? Nah… Those don’t sound exciting at all. How about I propose to a stranger? Perfect, boredom resolved.

So… ANY takers.”

Yep, that about covers it. I’m sure she sees this as spontaneous and romantic, just like in the movies — and in the movies, things always work out! Sure, there will be a rough patch or two and some obstacles that they’ll have to overcome, but eventually there will be a montage and love will overcome all. I’m sure she’s not considering things like the other crazy people who post personal ads on Craigslist. (Yes, each one of those words is a different link.)

45 Responses leave one →
  1. 2009 August 19
    carlos permalink

    I thinking someone is in need of a green card.

    Adores: 1
  2. 2009 August 19
    Mark permalink

    I think her requirement that a potential mate have his “own… ect” is spot-on. It sounds as if a bit of electroconvulsive therapy now and then might be just the ticket.

    Adores: 9
  3. 2009 August 19
    Jami(no "e") permalink

    Pish, screw love! You have to marry for either money or a new play thing…

    What’s the world coming to when the LGBT community can’t marry for love but this girl can marry for the hell of it..

    Adores: 17
    • 2009 August 19
      Jami(no "e") permalink

      Also, be it sheer luck or cunning planning, the “word from our sponsors” about marriage help is a fantastic fit.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 19
      Ladycrim permalink

      Stuff like this is my primary argument when the gay marriage opponents go on about how “sacred” marriage is and how allowing LGBT couples to wed would ruin that sanctity …

      Adores: 8
  4. 2009 August 19

    She’s single? Really?

    I can’t think why.

    Adores: 2
  5. 2009 August 19
    Meredith permalink

    “You should have all your own stuff, because although we will be married, don’t even THINK about moving in together. Seriously, don’t think about it, because planning just gets me down, man!”

    So many things wrong that don’t even need mentioning. But even logistically, isn’t it impossible unless she lives in Vegas? As far as I know, there’s a ten day waiting period after you file for a marriage license…and by THAT long, she’ll be bored with you already!

    “B I cant just walk away”

    —yeah,because it’s not like you’ll each have your own apartments and live in a world where divorce is legal…oh wait.

    “why dont I have a man…ha I get asked that everytime i go on a first date.”

    —My guess is that by the second date, they KNOW why….

    Adores: 2
    • 2009 August 19
      dogface permalink

      Somehow, I don’t think she’s lucky enough to actually get to the second date. XD

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 19

      My feeling is that it’s been asked with a hint of sarcasm.

      Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 21
      Stacy permalink

      I applied for a marriage license on January 4, 2003 in Las Vegas and got married that evening.

      Adores: 2
    • 2009 September 19

      My wife and I got married in Connecticut in one day. Not every state has waiting periods.

      But yeah, it pisses me off that we had to drive from Virginia to Connecticut to get married, when this girl just waltzes down to the courthouse, coughs up a couple of bucks, and gets married.

      Adores: 5
  6. 2009 August 19
    PrincessLuceval permalink

    Maybe she has a class reunion coming up. Or she wants to win the “how I met my spouse” award. Or maybe she’s batshit crazy.

    Adores: 5
  7. 2009 August 19
    Mark permalink

    Hey, it worked for Dharma and Greg, maybe it can work for crazy lady too.

    Adores: 4
  8. 2009 August 19
    Dan permalink

    Man, good thing she said she’s not “completely” psycho, otherwise I would have written her off. Sign me up.

    Adores: 6
    • 2009 August 20
      corn flakes permalink

      Thats one of those prefaces where you know you will hear some nutty stuff.
      It’s in the category with “No offense but…”, “I’m not a racist but…” “(name) is a really nice person but..”
      You know the warning is a contradiction.

      Adores: 1
  9. 2009 August 19
    dogface permalink

    Somehow, I think the whole “sanctity of marriage” thing takes a backseat to the whole “I’m going to turn my life upside-down and maybe get murdered by a complete stranger from the internet” deal. I thought that the dating process was supposed to help weed out incompatible people/psycho killers. But maybe I’m mistaken.

    I’m not even going to touch the logistical problems with her plan (or lack thereof). Makes my brain hurt too much. :/

    Adores: 1
  10. 2009 August 19

    Getting married because you’re bored always works out, especially if you already have trouble maintaining a relationship.

    Adores: 5
  11. 2009 August 19
    Heather permalink

    I love how she seems to think its always HER idea not to have a second date.

    I’d like to send her a tubal ligation as a wedding present.

    Adores: 15
    • 2009 August 20
      Lola permalink

      I’d like to contribute. Do you take PayPal?

      Adores: 8
  12. 2009 August 19
    Ladycrim permalink

    Ms. Spears, please stop trolling for husbands …

    Adores: 13
  13. 2009 August 19
    Kay permalink

    What’s even worse is that I know I’ve seen this ad a few times before so it’s some type of awkward spam–who’d even respond to it.

    Adores: 1
  14. 2009 August 19

    Does not COOK?!?! Never Mind then! 🙂

    Adores: 1
  15. 2009 August 19
    ??? permalink

    “I decided tomorrow I want to get married…”

    I guess she used her time-travel device to consult her future self about any major life decisions.

    Adores: 3
    • 2009 August 20
      Irregular Fractal permalink

      I smell the sequel to The Time Traveler’s Wife coming: The Time Traveler’s Husband. Followed by The Time Traveler’s Affair, The Time Traveler’s Divorce, The Time Traveler’s Crazy Rebound Guy, and finally The Time Traveler’s Co-Dependent Live-In Deadbeat Boyfriend.

      Adores: 18
  16. 2009 August 19

    This is bound to take up at least a (work) week.
    Monday: Wedding
    Tuesday: Lots of passionate love-making
    Wednesday: Tired of him, look for a divorce attorney.
    Thursday: divorce proceedings
    Friday: Sign the paperwork, post a craigslist ad for a date.

    Adores: 12
  17. 2009 August 19
    Ms Michelle permalink

    Wow, she is bored with life at 22? what is it going to be like for her at 40?

    Adores: 2
  18. 2009 August 19

    This ad begs for a new tag: craigslist desperate.

    Time to get that one out into teh Internets.

    She’s not desperate for a date, just for attention. I’d bet folding money she has either or both of an eating disorder and scars from self-injury.

    Adores: 0
  19. 2009 August 19

    “I choose to marry a stranger because maybe that stranger is who im looking for.” <– Problems wrapping her head around causality.

    Adores: 1
  20. 2009 August 19
    brashieel permalink

    This is either clever spam, some kind of con, or somebody setting themselves up for a massive failure. It could potentially be all three.

    If its spam I’m kind of impressed. They can probably snag some e-mail addresses this way.

    If its anything else this is just insane. And Craigslist Desperate.

    Adores: 1
  21. 2009 August 20
    Mrphysic permalink

    “Dearly beloved we are gathered here……….blah blah blah……..if any one can see a reason why these two people should not be joined together in holy matrimony, then would you please form an orderly queue and write your objection in 100 words or less whilst kindly refraining from using expletives (esp. ‘Jesus Tapdancing Christ!’) in this house of God…..”.”We will now have a three month interval in the ceremony whilst we look through the complaints”

    Yeah – I only submitted this so I could use the phrase ‘Jesus Tapdancing Christ’ again – I love seeing it in print

    Oh and did anyone else have the thought for a few minutes that this may have been written by a man…….maybe a post-op.

    FOr those ‘guys’ this is a great tactic – get ’em married before they have a chance to see your wedding night ‘surprise’.

    Adores: 7
  22. 2009 August 20
    Cyrus permalink

    Hell this would have been so much easier than what I’m going/gone through right now. I actually A: Went on many dates before finding the right one (and some of those dates turned into legit friendships) B: Waited awhile before getting engaged to make sure the love was shared and C: Am not getting married until late 2010. Should have just went on CL and married a complete stranger, screw all this planning!

    Adores: 2
  23. 2009 August 20

    So, if she has her own place, job, car, etc., why is it so important that her prospective hubby have his own place? Job, car, I can see that, but if you’re going to get married, wouldn’t you probably move in together? It makes me suspicious that this might be someone looking for a place to stay, but without the candor of the guy linked to in the word “other”.

    Adores: 0
    • 2009 September 3
      Addicted Reader permalink

      The one defense I can think of for this is she doesn’t want anyone still living in his parents’ basement. Having one’s own place is usually a sign of being able to care for oneself. Although I do know at least a couple 20-somethings who are still/back to living w/ their parents to save money, but are fully capable of taking care of themselves. They’re also too smart for this.

      Adores: 1
  24. 2009 August 20
    Windrose permalink

    What if she picks someone who has been married before, and has, oh I don’t know, three or four children that he has full custody of? Wouldn’t that make her life less boring!

    Adores: 3
  25. 2009 August 20
    corn flakes permalink

    It might be sad, but i was wondering to myself where she was located.
    I dont have anything going on for the next week. I could try a marriage for a couple days for something different.

    Adores: 9
  26. 2009 August 20
    Orual42 permalink

    I bet there’s someone out there who would take her up on her offer…whether or not he’ll see the ad or not is another question. Regardless, they would make a very interesting hypothetical couple, not sure how long the marriage would last though.

    Better draw up a pre-nuptial.

    Adores: 1
    • 2009 August 20
      dissimilitude permalink

      Come to think of it, I know a guy who needs a green card….

      Adores: 0
  27. 2009 August 20
    Hiyame permalink

    Ow… this ad makes me more ridiculously sad than I have been in a while. It’s nice to know that my loving and dedicated relationship to my girlfriend isn’t acceptable to society so therefore I cannot marry her, but this lady totally can. Well, good for her! It must be nice…. And also, as someone who has been in the domestic relations field for a while… I really don’t think this can end well. Especially because she will probably try to get some of his stuff… I suspect this is a bad plan to get a new couch. Just saying. Unfortunately, what she doesn’t know, is attorneys only split up what was purchased during the marriage… And we don’t give discounts for stupidity.

    Adores: 2
  28. 2009 August 29
    Missie permalink

    This actually sounds VERY much like someone who has a mental illness!

    There are several that would really explain ALL of the weirdness in this post…
    For example:

    or uncontrolled manic depression/mania

    Adores: 0
  29. 2009 August 29

    Hey, Come On this girl sounds swell. I mean Don’t you think about just getting married on the spur of the moment? Shit I do it almost every day, I see a Girl walking down the street and i just hit the knee and propose right there. I thought that this is how stuff was supposed to go…

    Adores: 0
  30. 2009 August 30
    OriginalDavid permalink

    i think i know this girl.

    god, if she knew this comment was about her, she would hunt me down and kill me.

    Adores: 1
  31. 2009 August 31

    She’s a prostitute.

    Adores: 1

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