You Suck at Craigslist

YSaC, Vol. CLXXXVIII

Written by

drmk

in

1/9-1/20: daughter and friend for sale

just bring cash alot of it. not that their worth it but i am at the end of my rope car is totaled DAUGHTER fired from subway cause car is totaled pimple on her nose bumped my HEAD was fine before they got here selling totaled car on craigslist.AFTER I FIGURED THE CAMARA OUT FOR 2.5 HOURS, BOYFRIEND NOW ASLEEP COME GET THEM PLEASE!!!!*** 1999 MONTE CARLO GOOD ENGINE MAKE OFFER xxx-xxx-xxxx

Katie sends this one in, saying, “Honestly, I’m not sure what it means– is she trying to sell her daughter and her daughter’s friend, as the title would suggest? Because her (presumably) teenage daughter got in a wreck and has acne? Or is she trying to sell the car? I just don’t know. And I don’t think I’ll ever know. This listing made me straight up existential.”

All I can think is that it must have been one hell of a pimple if it was able to total a Monte Carlo just by bumping into it.

Even stranger: it was listed under “Events”.

Comments

9 responses to “YSaC, Vol. CLXXXVIII”

  1. HorribleLicensePlates Avatar
    HorribleLicensePlates

    I’ve got a great idea. Let’s all do Meth, eat some subway, and post on Craigslist.

  2. drmk Avatar
    drmk

    That sounds like a great idea — can I leave out the Subway part, though?

  3. Rebecca Avatar
    Rebecca

    The pimple. I had to really read this deeply and let my mind meld with Mom’s. The pimple reference is meant to be read simply as “pimple on nose,” in the same way as if you were selling a chest of drawers and you mentioned it has “a few scuffs.”
    I guess the retard apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

  4. D / DM Avatar
    D / DM

    @ drmk:

    Most def. Subway tastes like crap and (compared to meth) makes you fat.

  5. Cheryl Avatar
    Cheryl

    Huh?

  6. My Evil Twin Avatar
    My Evil Twin

    I hope I am just being paranoid and cynical, but my first impression is that this is a not-so-coded human trafficking post. I really, really hope I am wrong, but the more I look at it, the more convinced I become. Is it just coincidence that just “daughter” and “head” are emphasized (in the lower-case portion)? OK, so there are the car references, but I’m wondering if that isn’t just so they can claim that it was really the car the were selling, should problems arise (note that until the very last sentence, it is absolutely clear that it is NOT the car they are talking about: The car info is tacked on like an afterthought). That it was posted under “events,” then, doesn’t seem quite so strange to me (particularly if “for sale” actually means “pay for ‘services’”).

    I hope the authorities saw this and investigated, but somehow I doubt it.

    Anyone want to assuage my fears? Please?

  7. Victoria Avatar
    Victoria

    I wonder if someone did this in his/her sleep. I’ve heard of people sleepwalking, sleepcooking, sleeptalking, sleepeating, etc. Maybe it wouldn’t be so outlandish for someone with a sleep disorder to make a Craigslist post while asleep- it DOES sound a bit like sleep rambles, no?

  8. skrib Avatar
    skrib

    just bring cash alot of it.
    (well in all fairness that was already there so i guess this means she is in fact selling s.o.m.e.t.h.i.n.g.)
    not that their worth it but i am at the end of my rope (.)
    (well that’s a point for her selling the people, I don’t usually refer to my car as a plural, or in this case as a possessive.)
    car is totaled(.)
    (Seems to be describing the car now, although it also could be a reason for getting rid of the aforementioned daughter.)
    DAUGHTER fired from subway cause car is totaled(.)
    (This is irrelevant if she is selling the car. Good to know if I’m worried about missing persons reports though.)
    pimple on her nose (.)
    (Okay, definitely not about the car, at all.)
    bumped my HEAD was fine before they got here selling totaled car on craigslist(.)
    (I wasn’t sure if that was one sentence or two. In either case it makes no sense unless they’re just ranting.)
    AFTER I FIGURED THE CAMARA OUT FOR 2.5 HOURS, BOYFRIEND NOW ASLEEP COME GET THEM PLEASE!!!!***
    (On the forced optimism side maybe the daughter and bf just don’t know that the car is being sold. Please, that’s a lot better than the obvious reason.)
    1999 MONTE CARLO GOOD ENGINE MAKE OFFER xxx-xxx-xxxx
    (Because that couldn’t have just been said in the first place, without the description of the daughter and the boyfriend’s state of consciousness?)
    In either case I do hope someone sent this ad to the police.

  9. Bubbles Avatar
    Bubbles

    “pimple on her nose bumped my HEAD”
    That sounds pretty disgusting. I hope it didn’t pop.

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