YSaC, Vol. 1763: I think I’ll try door number 2

2014 October 1

Moving Need Gone ASAP




I’m moving and have a lot of nice thing not going with me. I have no time for a yard sale, you won’t be dissapointed. Must be able to take it all.

This is that “bundling” I’ve heard so much about, isn’t it? I come for the (almost certainly) empty Wii U box, and you upsell me on the pogo stick, the bookshelves, the shopping bags, the folding chair, and your brother-in-law. Oh, well – as long as I can take the truck too, I suspect I’ve still come out ahead in the deal. I can probably even use it to haul all the other crap away.

Thanks to Manic Gypsy for their very first submission!

YSaC, Vol. 1762: Fifteen miles on the Sparky canal

2014 September 29

Are you named Sal? Then we’ve got a snake for you!

Snake for sall.!!!


Hello I am selling my boa because I’m wanting to add more room for my ball python collection my snake is in very good health and eat every two weeks like a camp.!!!! He is a 7ft male “he is a proven breeder that’s is one of his hatchlings ” and Very Nice he has never struck or hissed at me or anyone else he was a class pet to show how gentle and nice he is.!!! Can come with a 75g or 30g tank. You can reach by texting ###-###-####

“With offers or trades ”


He eats every two weeks, like, a camp! A whole camp! Not just the kids, but the cabins, the canoes, and even those stupid plastic braided lanyard things! Sadly, he does not appear to eat extraneous quotation marks.

Thanks for the post, Julie!

YSaC, Vol. 1761: It Hertz So Good

2014 September 26

Last week was Mackenzie week, but this week it’s SD week. Thanks to SD for supplying all three of this week’s posts! Sadly, Mackenzie crashed the backhoe, but you’re welcome to come pet the official YSaC sea urchin, “Pointy.”

[Zip Code] – $150


i am selling this Samsung Galaxy note 2 with charger unlocked pain is missing scream scratch

Pain is missing? I think we know who can help with that! (The screaming will probably also be covered.)

Also, it’s worth noting that the entire title of this post was the zip code where the phone was offered for sale. No mention, for example, of the actual type of item being sold.

Thanks for the week, SD!

YSaC, Vol. 1760: Magic Bust

2014 September 24

kenmore. Elite Matching washer and dryer – $250



They r brand new and need to sell girl Friends mom got Got one that she’s more room cuz the house is small a top on in the bottom one saw these ones are up for grabs 250. Ob offer thanks

So you’re selling your girlfriend’s mom? Is that legal? Also, I’m not sure sawing a washer is really good for it. Or is this some sort of magic trick? Wait, I think I’ve seen that one: You push the washer/dryer together, put your girlfriend’s mom in so she’s sticking out of both sides, and then saw it in half. Yeah, that was pretty good. Not as good as making the Statue of Liberty disappear while it was inside a refrigerator, but waay better than escaping from the dishwasher while handcuffed.

Thanks for the magic, sd!

YSaC, Vol. 1759: ALT!

2014 September 22
tags: ,
by dan

old – $20


text

Just to be clear – I haven’t redacted anything here. The text of the ad is, in fact, the word “text.” If brevity is the soul of wit, then this guy is clearly Stephen Hawking and Oscar Wilde’s illegitimate love child.

Thanks for the post, SD.

YSaC, Vol. 1758: Like whining for chocolate

2014 September 19

Since Mackenzie sent our first two posts this week, let’s go for a trifecta: (That’s Latin for “three fectas”!)

Searching For A Job Needing Help Without A Boss That…… (All Over)


IM LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP. BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK THAT HAS A BOSS WHO IS A TOTAL JACK-ASS HIPACRITE!!!!!!! A BOSS WHO ISNT A WHINER, CRY-BABY, OR A PUSSY BOSS, WHO QUIET FRANKLY ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, OR NEEDS AND WANTS MORE THAN A KID WANTING CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE A BOSS THAT FITS THIS SUBJECT THEN DO NOT REPLY. I DO TALK ON THE PHONE, TEXT, AND SMOKE. BUT I GET MY WORK AND TASKS DONE.

This person meets ALMOST all of the criteria I have for a potential employee:

  • They smoke.
  • They text and talk on the phone while on the job.
  • They have no idea how to turn off caps lock…
  • …or when to stop using exclamation points.
  • They can’t spell “Hypocrite.”

That pretty much summarizes my ideal employee right there. Sadly, I also need someone who lives in (everywhere) rather than (All Over), so I guess I’ll be looking elsewhere.

Thanks for the week, Mackenzie! Next week, you can drive the YSaC backhoe if you like!