YSaC, Vol. 1759: ALT!

2014 September 22
tags: ,
by dan

old – $20


text

Just to be clear – I haven’t redacted anything here. The text of the ad is, in fact, the word “text.” If brevity is the soul of wit, then this guy is clearly Stephen Hawking and Oscar Wilde’s illegitimate love child.

Thanks for the post, SD.

YSaC, Vol. 1758: Like whining for chocolate

2014 September 19

Since Mackenzie sent our first two posts this week, let’s go for a trifecta: (That’s Latin for “three fectas”!)

Searching For A Job Needing Help Without A Boss That…… (All Over)


IM LOOKING FOR A JOB THAT IS IN NEED OF HELP. BUT I AM NOT LOOKING FOR WORK THAT HAS A BOSS WHO IS A TOTAL JACK-ASS HIPACRITE!!!!!!! A BOSS WHO ISNT A WHINER, CRY-BABY, OR A PUSSY BOSS, WHO QUIET FRANKLY ACTS LIKE A LITTLE BITCH, OR NEEDS AND WANTS MORE THAN A KID WANTING CHOCOLATE. IF YOU ARE A BOSS THAT FITS THIS SUBJECT THEN DO NOT REPLY. I DO TALK ON THE PHONE, TEXT, AND SMOKE. BUT I GET MY WORK AND TASKS DONE.

This person meets ALMOST all of the criteria I have for a potential employee:

  • They smoke.
  • They text and talk on the phone while on the job.
  • They have no idea how to turn off caps lock…
  • …or when to stop using exclamation points.
  • They can’t spell “Hypocrite.”

That pretty much summarizes my ideal employee right there. Sadly, I also need someone who lives in (everywhere) rather than (All Over), so I guess I’ll be looking elsewhere.

Thanks for the week, Mackenzie! Next week, you can drive the YSaC backhoe if you like!

YSaC, Vol. 1757: Hey, what’s this button for?

2014 September 17
by dan

doomesday preppers


are you ready to take the next step

I confess, the first three times I read this, I thought it said “doomsday peppers,” which I assume are basically like ghost peppers, but slightly hotter, such that consuming them brings about the end of the world. (They would only need to be slightly hotter than ghost peppers.)

However, a more careful reading indicates that it’s actually “Doomesday” peppers. So these are clearly peppers which are used to record land ownership in England and Wales in the 11th century.

Silly me.

Thanks for the post, Mackenzie!

YSaC, Vol 1756: A Public Service Announcement

2014 September 15
tags: ,
by dan

Hello, this is an important public service announcement from You Suck At Craigslist.

Poptart ad is fake


Poptart ad is fake

The more you know…

This message brought to you by Mackenzie.

YSaC, Vol. 1755: Revenge of the Spinach Toothpaste

2014 September 12

eight lap tops cheap – $1


i have five lap top computers for sale they are Dual cores and work great they just need hard drives and power cords asking $ 20.00 each or $ 15.00 each if you buy two or more $ 100.00 for all eight these are great to put Linux or windows on

Time to fire up the catulator! (Which, don’t forget, you can get on a mousepad!)

Eight laptops times five laptops times two cores minus no hard drives plus power cords modulo $20 each to the power $15 each in base eight is…

*hits catulator*

Oh dear – I get “Sprunkle.”

Thanks for the post, Lace!

YSaC, Vol. 1754: Put it on! Put it on!

2014 September 10

This one seems normal right until the end…

97 Nissan Pathfinder


Moving sale! Great desk full L shape brown wood 3 part desk $150 OBO

Matching Bed room set two night stands dresser with mirror queen sized bed with mattress dark brown wood 900 OBO

Nice black leather futon lays flat 75 OBO

2 small dark brown 3 shelf book shelfs
25 each OBO

THE FASTER YOU PICK UP the more I’ll take off

…when you realize that the poster is a stripper.

Thanks for the post, Mark!