You Suck at Craigslist

Science Fair Project – M&M Math – $20

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I have my daughter’s 3rd grade science fair project that won third place in our small school. Could be used for any elementary grade. It comes complete with board and notebook. The board is covered in Brown fabric and is decorated with M&M packages and paper to look like M&M’s. The notebook folder is yellow with M&M (paper) on the front and includes everything that is on the board. Purpose, Hypothesis, Materials List, Procedure, graph and Conclusion. It does not have my daughters name on it anywhere. It comes with everything except the box of M&M’s that is in the picture. Please let me know if you have any questions.

I’m not quite sure of the direction to go here, but I’m pretty sure it involves righteous indignation. I just can’t figure out what I’m feeling more righteously indignant about. Help me, won’t you?

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Seriously. If you’re going to try to sell your kid’s science fair project, it should have at least won first place. And it should involve lasers. Or robots. Or hamsters. Or robot hamsters with lasers. Some third graders are busily inventing the internet, and your kid is graphing the total number of M&Ms in a package? You must be very proud. And by proud, I mean slimy, since you’re selling your own child’s science fair project. But that’s okay, because you probably did it for them, and you probably ARE proud that it won third place. Although, you’re thinking that it would have placed higher if it hadn’t been for that Jenkins kid, whose father is an engineer and built that robot hamster with lasers that took second place.

This travesty of parenting brought to you by pointyjess!

Quick!

It’s an emergency!

Need eggs delivered right away

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We need eggs BUT IT’S FREEZING OUT.

Yes, you would certainly seem to be faced with a conundrum. But where do I come in?

That’s where you come in.

Oh. Right there, then.

Bring us a dozen eggs immediately so we can make breakfast foods. If we
deem you nice and a non-crazy we will make you food too. Else, you must
accept our thank yous to keep you warm on your walk home.

This reads a little like a ransom note. “Bring us a dozen eggs immediately, or you will never see little Timmy again!” Of course, that’s just silly. These are nice and non-crazy people, and they are hoping that their oviparous benefactor will also be nice and non-crazy. Nothing at all crazy here.

NO FUNNY BUSINESS or else you will get tasered.

Er… riiight. Nothing at all crazy here. I think I’ll just be keeping my eggs, thank you very much.

Regards

Wait. Never mind, they send their regards. Here come the eggs!

Thanks for the link, Daniel!

Some time back, we had a post from a serious actress, who just needed a little bit of help. It’s short, so I’m reposting the ad in its entirety. You can click on the title to take you back to the original snark and associated commenting.

Actress Seeking Agent And Exposure

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I have Experience In Movies, Theater And print Work. All I Need IS: Legitimate Agent Who I Can Make Believe I’m A Talented actress.
I Also Have A Resume AM Still Building UP.
I am 5”2, 130 With A Curves, Off Cause Curves Is IN, Urban Completion,
Please No Responds From Adult Film Producers.

Well, it’s been a little while, but we haven’t forgotten you!

Hi GIRL do you have any interest in Modeling or Acting ? (*(*( [location] ___)

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Hi GIRL do you have any interest in Modeling or Acting ?

I am a professional Talent Scout

If i like your profile you are going to the STARS.

Help me and yourself make a few MILLION DOLLARS LOL

If you don’t think you look good enough THINK AGAIN

Look at all the UGLY KNOWN ACTORS OUT THERE. LOL

It takes MARKETING AND WILLINGNESS to succeed Looks are a plus but not everything. TRUST ME

Modeling Agencies will charge you an ARM and a LEG for shooting your pics then after you paid them, they will file you away LOL

I am your ONLY CHANCE TO SUCCESS if you are serious LOL

Normally, we just comment out phone numbers, but I am going to substitute in a fake telephone number in this case, using the exact style in the original ad:

Five five five 555 five 5 five five

These two are clearly a match made in HEAVEN!

All we have to do is show the AGENT her original PROFILE and she is GOING TO THE STARS.

TRUST ME

Thanks for the link, Stephanie!

Im saleing my self

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If u need somebody for a day I’m yours for 80$ a day and u can do what ever u won’t with me .

It’s a Craigslist version of Russell’s Paradox! You can hire him to do whatever you won’t have him do! And then he can go and shave that pesky barber!  And join that club that won’t accept Groucho Marx!

Thanks for the post, coute!

It’s time to revisit one of YSaC’s favorite furniture styles. That’s right, folks, it’s French Prudential time again!

french prevention type of furniture
Glass Top Coffee Table, French Prevential Period – $300
French Provential Couch, Love Seat, Chair – $200
French Proventional Dresser – $35
French Providential Dresser and end table set
Couch & Chair-French Provision – $1500
Wall Clock – French Provisional 24″ – $15

And this one combines two of our favorites!

Armoir – Classic French Pronvicial – $99

Thanks to Jennifer, Jen, Elizabeth, Gareth, Lisa, Brian, and Mary for the submissions!

[Edited 11:14 to add: Jonathan found another one today!

FRENCH POVENTIAL LIVING / SOFA/CHAIR - $1200

Sigh.]

free stuff or all for 80.00 bucks

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hello there
i have lots of free stuff or all for 80.00 bucks
come by and take a look at the stuff and see if you want it but have to share moving and cant take it all with me

xxx-xxx-xxxx
EVERYTHING MUST GO NOW

I think I’ll take everything except one thing. That way it’s free, since I didn’t take it all.

tons of ram and processors – $40

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ok, well i lived with my grampa for a year before he moved down to florida, he left me all of his computer stuff, so ive got a collection
ive got an organizer thing full of older RAM. processors, etc
ill list what i have
2(512mb) SDR DIMM
a bunch more, too many to list.
processors-about 10 old processors, amd and intel.
call/text xxxxxxxxxx or email me.

Here, let me list them for you. Oh, there’s too many to list. Just contact me and buy it.

Thanks, trekkibek and Dean!