YSaC, Vol. CLXVI.v

2008 December 31

A bonus for New Years Eve:


flammable stuff for new years party!!!


we are looking for stuff to burn for winterburn’s rockin new years eve party! desks, couches, christmas trees, anything that will go up in righteous new years flaming glory! contact dan winterburn @ xxx-xxx-xxxx. asap!!!

1665

I’m going to file this one under “this can only end badly”. In fact, I think I might actually need to start a tag for that.

31 Responses leave one →
  1. 2008 December 31
    Jessie permalink

    Does anybody else imagine that if this guy was reading the posting out loud he’d sound like Beevis? Maybe it’s me.

    Adores: 2
  2. 2008 December 31

    Aw, you’re just mad because your invitation to winterburn’s rockin new years eve party hasn’t come in the mail yet.

    Adores: 1
  3. 2008 December 31

    Dan scares me. And yes, in my head he totally sounds like Beavis!!

    Adores: 0
  4. 2008 December 31

    Oh, dear. Well, I suppose their “winterburn” will be *festive*, at the very least, though I can think of at least a dozen other words to describe it.

    Adores: 0
    • 2011 December 31
      valarie permalink

      If by “festive” you meant “festering”.

      Adores: 2
      • 2011 December 31
        CapnMac permalink

        Perhaps Zentastic meant it in the festive sense of Wickerman. Not just the immolation of live sacrifices pagan rite, but also both of the stinker movies about same. [makes motions to forfend against evil]

        Adores: 0
  5. 2008 December 31
    Courtney permalink

    Dangerous, toxic, stupid, frightening, childish, asinine, smoky, swealtering, noxious, pointless, illegal, and really-bad-example-for-actual-children-who-might-be-present?

    OK, so I took minor liberties with the word “word” on that last one, but that’s what hyphens are for!

    Adores: 4
  6. 2009 January 1

    1. the guy has a major farmer’s tan.
    2. Why a picture of a guy in a Sonics jersey? why not a picture of a fire, possibly examples of previous “winterburn’s rockin new years eve” parties?
    3. WTF is with the mask and cowboy hat?
    4. Is he in the middle of dancing? seems like an odd pose.

    Adores: 0
  7. 2009 January 1
    drmk permalink

    I think he’s in the middle of poppin’. Because, you know, that’s cool or something.

    Adores: 1
  8. 2009 September 2
    Ed Snyder permalink

    One must admit: this guy has the perfect surname to match the apparent main event at his annual New Year’s Eve bash.

    Adores: 2
  9. 2011 December 31

    As the Black Plague spread through Sparkington, anything that could have been exposed to the deadly menace had to be burned. Meanwhile, Dan Winterburn started putting on his plague doctor’s outfit, piece, by piece, and practicing his dance to drive out the plague demons.

    Adores: 7
    • 2011 December 31

      Nice mask. According to something we watched recently about superstitions, the bird-like appearance was a coincidence and the long beak was really just there to hold the aromatic wossnames.

      As you were.

      Adores: 6
    • 2011 December 31
      valarie permalink

      Oh damn! There goes the coffee spray on the computer screen. There is nothing like a good bubonic plague reference to get my morning going. Oh, hey. And muffin in my keyboard too.

      Adores: 3
      • 2011 December 31
        CapnMac permalink

        Was it a good, crumbly, muffin?

        With seeds and/or nuts that will just get under the keys?

        But are just big enough to not shake loose, so, you really need a new keyboard?

        Even though the one you have is broken-in just right, and they don’t make that keyboard anymore, so any replacement will be a lesser piece of hardware, and will require elbenty trips to stores with a bunch of PFKs who just-Don’t-Get-It nad are uncaring about how the world could be made a more caring, more happy, more satisfied place, with comradrie and fraternite and bonhomie–if only we’d just up and collect more ecologically-sensible flammables to expend in celebratory conflagration?

        Dang, those would be good muffins . . .

        Adores: 4
  10. 2011 December 31

    Might just be my rural roots showing, but this sounds like a NYE party I want to be at. (And BTW, ever burned a Christmas tree? It’s alarming – once they catch, they go up with a disturbing “fwoomp” noise and are completely incinerated in no time.)

    The bare arms worry me, though. Mr. Winterburn, you will live to regret it if you create a massive year-ending bonfire with highly flammable and toxic materials. Safety first, pal.

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 December 31
      CapnMac permalink

      Only thing more exciting than that “What do you mean, did we change the water for the tree?” Whoompf, is when Spark’ has left mylar tinsel and a string or two of lights they couldn’t be bothered to remove.

      Which makes for: Whoompf! Snap! Crackle! Pop! [toxic fumes] [broken glass] [melting cupric compounds] [melting pine resins and pitch] Oh My!

      Adores: 1
  11. 2011 December 31

    [OT] I’ve found something yummy to help Bacontini ring in the new year. [/OT]

    Adores: 1
    • 2011 December 31
      Bacontini permalink

      Hey, Bacontini tink he dated a Bacon Sunday once. She was a nice enough beverage, but after a few weeks she started seeing a Steak Smoothie behind de Bacontini’s back. Tings ended kinda bitterly after Bacontini found out… and dey wouldn’t let him join in de meaty-meaty.

      Adores: 3
  12. 2011 December 31
    Windrose permalink

    The scary thing is, he lives in an apartment, and is going to be torching things on his balcony. Better put Emergency Services on stand-by.

    Adores: 5
    • 2011 December 31
      CapnMac permalink

      Well, as long as it’s not Bridgete’s apartment complex. Again.

      Adores: 0
  13. 2011 December 31

    WINTER NOT ON FIRE!

    Adores: 5
  14. 2011 December 31
    Bianchi Sound permalink

    That was the New Years that the Sonics lost their mascot, Paunchy Cowboy.

    Adores: 4
  15. 2011 December 31

    ARRRGGGGHHH! Kill it with fire!

    Wait… that’s actually gonna happen this time. Cool.

    Adores: 3
  16. 2011 December 31

    I can only hope the fire department saw this before any fellow sparkies. Hmm… sparkies burning things, how well-named

    Adores: 1
  17. 2011 December 31

    offtopic: I baked a cake today!

    it exploded

    see?

    maybe I shouldn’t be allowed to bake things

    Adores: 4
    • 2011 December 31
      CapnMac permalink

      Have you considered adding “Torte brulés d’hiver” to your name <G>

      Adores: 0
      • 2011 December 31

        Heh. Though it didn’t burn, at least it didn’t burst into flames and the cake itself (what stayed in the pan rather than going *FWOOP* all over the oven) was still edible.

        Adores: 0
        • 2011 December 31
          CapnMac permalink

          Actually, I was more thinking, you could send your pudding al carbon to sparky-dan bruile d’hivre, above.

          Not to suggest that you are a deliberate or habitual torte incinerator. As that assertion would be clearly slanderous and defamatory and unsupportable by either common or unique knowledge.

          Adores: 0
    • 2012 January 1

      Oh no! Nothing sadder than baked goods that can’t be eaten.

      Adores: 0
  18. 2012 January 1
    Windrose permalink

    IF, congratulations on just missing the 2012 record keeping session. Punchity Punch Punch!

    Good Morning, Winterburn Pub, Warley, Halifax!

    Adores: 1

Leave a Reply

Note: You can use basic XHTML in your comments. Your email address will never be published.

Subscribe to this comment feed via RSS